


Who Signed Me Up for This Anyway?

by Willbakefordean



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Anal Fingering, Arranged Marriage, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Getting to Know Each Other, Kid Fic, M/M, Miscommunication, Mpreg, Nipple Play, Safeword Use, Safewords, Sex Is Fun, Strangers to Lovers, Teacher Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, Virgin bucky barnes, homicide detective Steve Rogers, married at first sight au, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 71,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27788584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willbakefordean/pseuds/Willbakefordean
Summary: Steve is a career driven but lonely homicide detective who cannot seem to make a love connection. Bucky is a dedicated Kindergarten teacher and  male carrier but can't seem to find the right person to appreciate and love him. Will bossy friends and a Married at First Sight television show running its first bisexual season be what brings these two lonely men together? Can they fall in love?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 265
Kudos: 247





	1. How Did I Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, I can no longer wait to get this fic going. I need the distraction. For those unfamiliar, carrier fic is men having babies without it being ABO verse. In this particular fic, people are aware of male carriers, they are not rare, but it is not necessarily always easily accepted. Chalk it up to people not liking people who are different, or having a predisposed idea of what roles are in relationships. Sometimes people are judgy for no good reason. Anyway, it has made Bucky uncomfortable dating. That is all you really need to know.
> 
> If you read the tags, you will see the need for the rating. Of course it will have to earn that rating over time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet our two main characters and find out what has driven them to get into the messy situations in which they find themselves. Are they merely going from the frying pan into the fire? Only time will tell...

**Steve**

It was the end of a long night and Steve was beat, but they had arrested and charged a suspect for their latest homicide. Typically, this was when Sam would insist that they go for a beer, despite it being nearly one in the morning, but with the new baby at home, Steve knew that was not going to happen. 

“Tell Sharon I said hello and kiss that baby for me. Tell little man I’ll come play when mom’s ready for a visitor,” Steve called out to Sam as he headed out the door. Steve grabbed his grey wool coat and made his goodnights, heading out to his car, bracing when the frigid February Boston air hit him in the face.

“Fucking hell, it’s cold tonight,” he mumbled as he turned the engine over and scraped his windshield clear of ice. At least he had remembered his gloves this time. The drive across town was fairly quiet and he pulled in the alley behind his brownstone and parked. It was the best money he had spent to have the small yard area converted into a private space and then enlarged the upper balcony into a deck area for outdoor space. 

The apartment was beautiful. A classic gorgeous home left to him by his grandparents. Brick exterior and also some walls on the interior. Artfully decorated and yet lived in. Way above his pay grade but he didn’t even have to pay the taxes. His grandfather had made sure of that. His mom had moved out when he came back from his military service, citing she was tired of the bustle. She lived out in the suburbs now, and loved it. 

Steve loved city living. He loved his local coffee shop, his favorite corner market for missed items, pizza place, cafe, drug store, the park...the list went on. He was just tired of enjoying them alone. 

They’d missed dinner, so he made himself a sandwich and grabbed a beer sitting by himself at the kitchen island. He wondered if Sharon was up when Sam got home. Even with a toddler and a newborn and all the work that came with them, Sam talked fondly of his life. There were ups and downs, but Sam was happy. Steve had tried many times to find someone so he wouldn’t be rattling around this place on his own, but most saw the apartment and expected the lavish lifestyle that went with living here. 

Steve looked the part, he knew he was what women wanted physically, but handsome didn’t go far when your job called regardless of social plans. The women that he had dated, a couple even seriously, got sick of the late hours of Captain Steve Rogers, Homicide Detective. They wanted to go out and be arm candy. When Steve missed an event or three due to work or being too tired from a case, they got wise and realized he was just a hardworking homebody and left him in the dust for someone more exciting. 

It was Sam who had seen the ad for Married at First Sight. He teased Steve at first, but then he began to talk to him more seriously. 

_“Listen, Steve. You don’t exactly lead a life that allows you time to look for a life partner.”_

_“Life partner, Sam? What the fuck?” Steve said, shoving pizza from Sal’s in his mouth._

_“Don’t limit yourself when you don’t have to. You’ve only dated the ladies lately, but we both know you can increase your chances by 50 percent if you just consider it.”_

Steve had dated men, even one in the military. If you asked him, he would even say he leaned towards preferring men on the scale, but Steve liked women and wanted at least one child of his own. It wasn’t a crime, but it felt very primitive and kind of creepy to mention that or even worse, to ask if the guy was able to have kids. 

“Hi, I’m Steve Rogers, are you a carrier?” That usually ended the date pretty quickly. 

It was his business anyway, not Sam’s, even though Sam meant well. It was easy for Sam who already had two tiny versions of himself at home. Was it wrong to want that, too? It was a little old fashioned for sure and he certainly wasn’t going to take his chances on finding his one true love on a drama driven tv ratings grabber. 

Steve put his plate in the dishwasher and headed up to bed with his beer. He threw on sleep pants and a clean t shirt and then grabbed his laptop from the side table. He checked his work email one last time to see if the reports were accepted and then checked his personal email. 

He scrolled through the junk to see if there was anything about his amazon shipment of protein powder, they finally had the coffee flavor that was always out of stock. He’d ordered two five pound containers. That’s when he saw it…

 _Married at First Sight_ in the sender line 

_Thank you for your application_ in the subject line.

“Sam, you asshole!” Steve shouted into the dark of his apartment. But that’s what he got for sharing his personal info with his work partner. You’d think serving with a guy in the middle east would get you a little respect. 

Curiosity killed the cat and got the better of Steve and soon it was 3 am and Steve had read the email in its entirety four times. It was either the beer or the sheer exhaustion from the long day, but each time he read it, it made more sense and seemed more genuine. There were three mentors making the matches, two had their PhD’s. There was a lot of prep work that went into the matching. You had to sign off that you would do it all, psych evals, background checks, interviews, etc. 

“What have you got to lose, Rogers?,” he said as he began the first psychological inventory. 

***

His alarm went off far too early and Steve woke to his laptop on the bed beside him. He stretched and slowly woke. Little by little he gained snippets of his previous evening and then he bolted up and grabbed the laptop. Why did it take so long for it to boot up? 

Eventually, Steve got his email open and there at the top of his inbox was a second email from Married at First Sight. He clicked on it and read:

_Dear Steve,_

_Thank you so much for completing the initial inventory for the Boston area recruitment for the first bisexual season of Married at First Sight. Your answers will be carefully reviewed and we hope to get back to you within the next couple of weeks, depending on the number of applicants._

_Take Care,_

_Pepper Potts, PhD, Sex and Family Therapist_

“Well, now you’ve done it Rogers. You gone and fucked it up good this time,” Steve moaned to himself. 

Rather than dwell on what he could not undo, he threw on his workout clothes and went to the basement. His morning run on the treadmill would tame his inner panic and do him a world of good. They wouldn’t pick him anyway. 

  
  
  


**Bucky**

“Any news on the MAFS front?” Nat asked, pretending to be nonchalant, when really she was digging at Bucky again. 

“Nat if someone catches on to what you’re asking, I don’t care how postpartum you are, I am gonna kill you,” Bucky whisper growled at her under his breath. They were eating lunch in the faculty room of St. Francis Academy. The room was small and they all crammed around the tables that were pushed together and covered with heart themed vinyl tablecloths, one more reminder that Bucky had passed another year Valentineless. He grabbed a stale sprinkled butter cookie from the tin in the center of the table and gave Nat the stink eye.

She managed not to ask again about the results of a drunken debacle at Nat’s house when he passed said unspoken holiday with her, Bruce and their six month old baby girl, Mary Katherine. It had started as a joke, something Nat had seen advertised, but as the lone drinker of a bottle of red wine, Bucky had easily been convinced it was a good idea and had completed an online registration form. Now Nat asked him daily if he had heard back from the Married at First Sight, the first bisexual season producers. 

The truth was, Bucky might actually like to hear from them, something he would never tell Natasha. She would never let him live it down. Still, there was hope in the process of three certified marriage counselors choosing couples from a large group of candidates. 

The rest of Bucky’s afternoon was going well until Bradley vomited up all of his spaghetti lunch after gym class, only he waited to come back to the room to do it. 

“I want my mom, Mr. Barnes, I don’t feel good,” he’d said, just before letting it rip. 

Bucky grabbed the garbage can without flinching, immune to the smell after a few years in kindergarten, before the second wave hit and sent Madeline and Genevieve to the office for help. He was not going to get to his phone any time soon. 

“I guess you don’t, buddy,” he said to Bradley while formulating a plan in his head. “Alright, everyone to the back of the room to the library carpet until I can get Bradley to the nurse. William, you read Brown Bear to the class while you’re all waiting.” 

Dutifully, Bucky’s little darlings all got up and did exactly what he said to do. He deserved this group after last year’s active crew. They really were all sweethearts, some just needed more of Bucky’s previous military experience than others. The girls appeared in the doorway, nurse and custodian in tow, as Bucky was wiping Bradley’s mouth and rubbing his back.

“Sorry, Mr. Barnes,” Bradley said, two front teeth missing, lip wobbling as he spoke. 

“Don’t worry, buddy, it happens, are you done for now?”

When Bradley nodded, Bucky went behind him and lifted him under his arms and pivoted the poor little duckling right out of the mess, transporting him to the waiting nurse and out of the room. The floor in the center of the room was trashed and the custodian was sprinkling the minty smelling vomit absorber as Bucky washed his hands at the sink. He checked and there was nothing on his crisply ironed chinos or sweater. 

“Jackie, sweetie, can you grab Bradley’s coat and backpack from the closet. Bucky did not bother with homework given the little guy’s current status. He skirted ground zero and scribbled a quick note to Bradley’s mom telling her he’d catch Bradley up on his return and to remember the 24 hour rule in regard to returning to school, though the nurse would tell her as well. He stuck it in Bradley’s take home folder and then zipped it into his backpack. “Run those to the nurse and meet us in the front hall, got it, sweet pea?” he asked, giving her a big smile to boost her confidence. She was learning to be more independent and this was a good task, simple and quick. 

Bucky grabbed a couple of things from his teaching stand that they could review while Mr. John cleaned up the room and aired it out and headed to the front hall, class in perfect formation behind him. 

***

After straightening the working areas of his room, Bucky was ready to head home for the weekend. He scraped the Boston snow off the door of his Kia Sportage and started the engine while he finished the rest of the car. At least he parked in a garage at his apartment building. He hopped in and pressed the heated seat button, waiting for the defroster to catch up. He was planning leftover spaghetti for dinner, but given his afternoon, he swung by his favorite sub shop letting Vinny know what he wanted with a swipe of his hand. 

“You got it, Bucky, drag it through the _gaahden_ ,” the kid said in his thick Boston accent. It may be a quick dinner, but he could still get in some healthy stuff as well. Being from Brooklyn, Bucky did not have the heavy accent like the people in his neighborhood, but did carry a little of his city in his voice. 

Bucky paid and took his sandwich home, parked in the garage and walked around to the front of the building. He took the three flights of stairs and opened the door of his tiny apartment. Nat had helped him get it, it was affordable and he loved it, but it was small. 

He tossed his keys in the bowl and set his bag down on the chair by the door. He toed off his boots and put them on the mat before hanging up his navy pea coat and scarf on the hook and shaking the snow from his nearly shoulder length, brown hair. A place for everything and everything in its place. 

Tossing his sub onto the couch, he walked straight to the bedroom and slipped into flannel pj pants, hanging up his school clothes. He grabbed his favorite red Henley and then headed to the kitchen for a beer and napkins. It was a glamorous life, the life of a catholic school kindergarten teacher. 

He scarfed down his sandwich and beer watching the next episode of the Mandalorian and then scrolled through his phone, checking his insta and twitter before heading to his email. 

Bucky sat up, there was an email from Married at First Sight. It read: Thank you for your application in the subject line. Bucky was scared enough that he nearly deleted it without even reading, but then his curiosity got the better of him. What did he have to lose anyway? So he read. He read several times and then read again. 

Bucky was really bad at the dating scene. He had no gender preference, he tended to fall for personalities not parts. However he was great at crash landing any good take offs with his carrier status. It wasn’t like it was rare. Male carriers were common, they just didn’t usually have a military background and look like they could be an assassin with a black and gold prosthetic arm. Bucky was generally a square peg and he could not be slotted into the typical round holes of society. 

All he wanted was someone to love him that he could love back and that would see him as an equal despite being a carrier. He wanted kids and he wanted to have them, but he was shocked at the number of people who assumed things about carriers in general...specifically what their roles were in a relationship. He knew people who were in unhappy situations, so Bucky had avoided ever getting himself in such a position. 

That was why he sat alone at home on a Friday night, a 28 year old virgin male carrier, Three beers in and filling out a psychological intake eval for the crappy drama tv show about marrying someone you had never met. 

***

Bucky cried in the morning when he checked his email.

_Dear James,_

_Thank you so much for completing the initial inventory for the Boston area recruitment for the first bisexual season of Married at First Sight. Your answers will be carefully reviewed and we hope to get back to you within the next couple of weeks, depending on the number of applicants._

_Take Care,_

_Rev. Nicholas J Fury PhD, Marriage and Family Therapist_

  
  


Regretting that it only took three beers to give him such bravery, he even called Nat, who came over with Mary Katherine to cheer him up. 

“Bucky, I’m sorry if I teased you too much about the show. I honestly didn't think you would go this far with it.”

“S’not your fault I’m such an idiot. I mean Nat, I really haven't gotten far on my own. Maybe they won’t pick me but I can learn a little about relationships from the experience. I just don’t understand,” he paused to make sweet baby noises at Mary Katherine who was sitting in his lap. 

“Don’t understand what, Buck?”

Bucky felt himself crumbling a little and looked up at Nat through tear filled eyes. “Why do kids always love me and understand me, but the people I date don’t?” 

“Oh shit, Bucky, you just haven’t found the right one...yet,” Natasha said as she scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder in support. “The right person is out there, Bucky, you’re a catch, Buck...you really are.” 

Just then Mary Katherine barfed into his crotch and that pretty much summed up the whole situation. 

“Well, I can’t take it back, now. They probably won’t pick me anyway, too complicated with me being a carrier anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think??


	2. What Have I Got to Lose?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve continue on with their lives, both going through the motions. Will they get news that will potentially bring love into their lives?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, thank you for reading and joining me on this new adventure...
> 
> Also, I had accidentally tagged this as pre-serum Steve. I assure you it is big and buff Steve, picture the video where Scott Scares Chris in his house at thanksgiving... ya feeel me???

Another couple of weeks go by and Boston’s streets and sidewalks are full of nasty grey slush. Bucky feels like he is full of nasty grey slush himself. School is good, the kids are as delightful as ever and he is on track in his math curriculum for once. It’s after school that is killing him. 

Nat and Bruce are not letting anyone come over because of an RSV scare for infants and of course they told Clint and Laura who are protective of their little ones, so Bucky is officially on his own. He calls them and he calls his sister Becca, but it’s not like he can just head home on the weekends. His family is in Brooklyn. 

This was a hard time of year for him. He’d spent a long winter on his own again. Twenty eight and not even a prospect in sight for a fling, let alone a serious relationship. He’d love nothing more than to have someone to hunker down with all winter under fuzzy blankets with cocoa and cookies. Someone to lift with instead of staying in shape on his own. He’s a simple guy. 

Instead he practically had calligraphy written lesson plans and his wall art displays were really starting to piss his fellow teachers off royally. Just ask Nat. Well, at least the parents and Sr. Edwardine were very happy with him. 

Thank God his kids at school give him all the love. They even threw him a superhero birthday party last Friday even though his birthday was last Saturday the 10th. His kids have never let him down. 

The _Mr. Barnes is our Superhero_ party had him in tears, mostly because he was so touched, but a little because he was now 29 and still on his own. The students and parents gave him a generous amazon card, part of which he spent on his favorite coffee flavored protein powder. 

He ran on the treadmill this morning and he needs to get groceries later today. Other than his trip to the store, he had nothing planned except maybe burgers and beer for dinner and to re-binge the latest season of Great British Bake Off. Woohoo Bucky was officially a party animal.

He was waiting for his hair to dry a bit more on its own before he went to Whole Foods and he scrolled through his phone, checking his apps on auto pilot. He saw that he had a few emails and checked them. 

Shit! _Holy_ shit! Holy _fucking_ shit! 

He saw Married at First Sight and panicked. He couldn’t even bring himself to read it. He stood from the couch and paced with his phone in his hand, trying to find the courage to open it. 

He grabbed his reusable grocery bags and his journal, hopped in his car, and trudged across the parking lot to the store. The slush was nearly frozen again despite the fact that spring should be rounding the corner, he and his kids had watched the replay of Puxatawny Phil. That damn groundhog was never correct. 

Bucky dragged his feet through the store, the thought of the email niggling the back of his mind the whole time he shopped. Each item on his list just enough for him, no need to buy enough for two. The buy one get one special signs glared at him and suddenly he felt brave. 

What was he worried about? He wasn’t finding anyone on his own, his friends had found spouses and started families. Hell, he’d even secretly decided to have a baby on his own if he hit 30 and hadn't found anyone. 

He laughed right out loud in the grocery store. He imagined himself explaining being a 30 year old single father who was still a virgin. The only sex he’d have had was in a petri dish. It was so pathetic he almost started to cry right in front of the quaker oatmeal. 

“Fuck it,” he mumbled under his breath and pulled his phone from his pocket, opened his phone with his thumbprint and tapped open his email. 

_Dear James,_

_We are pleased to let you know that based on your completion of the initial psychological questionnaire, you have been chosen to participate in the next level of the Married at First Sight: the Bisexual Season. Please click on the link below to either accept or reject your slot. If you accept, you will be redirected to more information to be sure that you can fully participate. We hope you accept and look forward to finding you a match._

_Take care,_

_Tony Stark, PhD. Marriage and Family Counselor_

Bucky stood in the middle of Whole Foods and signed himself up for what was going to be either the best or the worst decision of his life. 

***

There was nothing better than interviewing potential witnesses with a coffee stain on your suit pants. It had not been Steve’s day from the very beginning. Now it was midafternoon and he was ready to be done. His feet were wet, his crotch was sticky, and not in the good way, and he was starving. They were working a new case, a convenience store robbery gone bad, and they had not eaten all day. Sam pulled him to the side.

“Come on, Cap, let’s go grab some food. She doesn’t know anything. She thinks you pissed your pants anyway,” Sam teased, laughing loudly.

“Fuck off, Sam,” Steve jabbed back, laughing a little at himself. If he didn’t have bad luck, he wouldn’t have any at all. “We’re getting takeout, though. I’m not going in anywhere like this.”

They ended up with burgers, there was nothing else close by and of course Steve ended up with ketchup on his favorite tie. 

“Come on, man,” Sam said, wiping at his tie with a napkin he had licked to wet. “You’re worse than little man.”

Steve batted his friend’s hands away and scrolled through his phone for any updates from the office. He checked his home email when he saw the notification pop up. 

“Fuck my life!”

“What?” Sam asked, concern in his face at Steve’s shouting.

“They fucking picked me. That getting married show! I made it to the next level if I want to do it.”

They argued back and forth as to whether or not it was even feasible for Steve to do it. 

“You have a shitload of vacation you are gonna lose again if you don’t take it. You know Rhodey will let you go. Steve, all you have to do is decide if you really want to do it.”

Steve looked out the car window, worrying his bottom lip. “I don’t know, Sam. What if it sucks. What if it’s me and I’m just not supposed to have it.”

“Not supposed to have happiness, companionship, love? I know I bust your balls about it, but Steve, dude...you have to know that you’re a good man.”

“Being a good man hasn’t done me any favors so far,” Steve said quietly.

“If there is anyone who would be a great husband and an even better father...it’s you, Steve. You have a lot to give. You love hard and that’s why you fall hard. Maybe you get matched up and find your perfect other half.”

“Jesus Christ, I am just such a sad sack, man.”

“Listen to me...maybe read through what they sent you and really consider it. Maybe you don’t make it all the way, but the stuff you got before said you get to go to workshops and interviews. Maybe you’ll learn how much you really deserve someone to love you just for you.”

Steve blew out a big breath, fighting his eyes as they tried to fill with tears. Christ, what did he have to lose. He’d asked that before and now he made it to the next level. Maybe his luck was trying to turn. 

Steve went home that night and threw caution to the wind as he filled out the forms to accept his place in the next round of the process. 

***

Bucky was exhausted. Talking about yourself all day was tiring. Adulting and having real conversation with strangers sucked the life right out of Bucky. His first interview had been so awkward. It was with Pepper Potts, the sex therapist. 

“So, James, how do you feel about sex in general?”

Immediate red cheeks. This was not going to go well. “Oh I don’t know, I’m sure it’s very nice.”

“Obviously you are bisexual, but what kind of sex do you prefer? Are you a vanilla missionary kind of guy or are you adventurous? What are you looking for?” Pepper asked innocently.

“Well, I’m not really positive?” Bucky answered with a question. The look on Pepper’s face told him it was sinking in, she was on to him.

“Do you like to hook up or do you prefer to establish a connection first?”

“I think I’d want to have a connection with the person first,” he answered with a nod. That much he knew.

“You think? James...just how much sexual experience do you have?” she asked directly.

“Not a lot..and by not a lot I mean very little.” There he said it. He was mortified and his face felt absolutely numb. It must have been bad because he felt Pepper’s hand on top of his which was resting on his furiously bouncing knee. 

“James,” why she felt the need to continue to call him by his name at the start of each question was beyond him. It was feeling way too personal. “Have you ever had intercourse at all? Either giving or receiving?”

Bucky just shook his head, afraid he might cry out of sheer humiliation. This hurt deeper than he thought. 

“Was that a conscious choice? Were you waiting for marriage?”

Another shake of his head. 

‘Has anything negative in regard to sex ever happened to you to make you avoid sex?”

Bucky bristled and sat up straight, setting his chin. “No. Nothing like that. I mean I had a friend who had a not so positive first time, and so I was just looking for the right guy to share that with. I guess I just never found him.”

“Okay, it makes sense to be careful. You ever fool around, make out at all?”

“Do I really have to give you a blow by blow of my sad sexual history?” Bucky was getting frustrated and the lights felt brighter and hotter. Not to mention this was all being filmed.

“No, James, you don’t. My purpose here is to gauge your sexual experience and general desires in a sexual partner. Do you have sexual desire? I’m asking because you could be asexual and not realize it.”

“Nope, not to worry, I want to have sex, believe me, I take care of my own needs pretty darn regularly…” he chuckled a bit and then looked down at his hands, one black and gold metal, the other flesh and he picked at a hangnail on his thumb. “I just think I want someone who’s gonna want to get to know me first. I want someone who’s...kind and patient. I want them to love me. Never mind, it’s ridiculous, I know. Christ, I’m 29. I shoulda gotten laid by now.” Wow, way to word vomit Barnes. 

“I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting physical intimacy to follow emotional intimacy, James. Nothing at all.” 

Bucky sat in his chair feeling very vulnerable and tired of the touchy feely talk. 

“Who are you attracted to, James. What’s your type?”

“I’m not too particular. I kind of lean towards guys. I like to stay in shape so that’s kind of what I look for, not too picky really. I’m more concerned about how nice they are, if they're kind. Are they good to their family? Are they polite in stores and restaurants. Oh, and they also need to want kids.”

“Is that because you’re a teacher?”

“It’s more like because I want to be a dad. I mean, they’d have to be okay with the fact that I can carry...I’m a carrier.” Pepper’s jaw officially dropped before she could help it. 

“James, that’s wonderful. You never noted that in your forms.”

“Did you have the ladies note if they were fertile? I didn’t see anyplace to put it,” he answered brusquely. 

“Touche, I stand corrected, James. I apologize. So you want kids and you need someone special, someone kind to help you with positive sexual experiences. That is what I’m hearing.

Her tone was so sweet he found himself blinking away tears. Talk about baring all to the world. 

“Thank you for your honesty, James...for sharing with me today.”

Throughout the day Bucky had also attended several workshops which ended up being mostly about the legalities of being on the show. The highlight of his day was seeing all the potential matches. What? It was fun to look, sort of like window shopping. There were some really good looking people in the mix. One guy, whom he had taken to calling broad shoulders, tiny waist, ticked all of his boxes. 

Tall, light brown hair sculpted to perfection, a little ginger in the beard, very handsome, built, hot, want to climb him like a tree kind of look...yeah and Bucky got caught staring. Yikes. Fuck! Even the little smile was hot with the little dimple in one cheek. Someone was gonna make out like a bandit. Someone was going to get to touch that beard. He was in a different group but Bucky got his fill of looking at the breaks in between workshops and interviews and had a great view at lunch. 

***

Steve was used to asking the questions and gathering the facts. He hated being the suspect...well the informant...whatever. There were lots of people Steve felt were physically attractive, but that had bitten him in the ass in the past, so he stopped looking too hard. That was until he saw the blue eyed quiet guy. 

That wasn’t even a good name for him, but he was in another group and Steve had not been able to get close to him to read his nametag. He’d been quiet and off by himself, almost sad when he caught Steve’s eye the first time, but later Steve saw him light up the room with his smile when someone he was with must have said something funny. Jesus, he was stocky and fit, chocolatey brown wavy hair almost to his shoulders and Steve could be happy waking up with that every day, looking into those pretty eyes. 

Christ, Rogers this is not a meat market. Get a grip! He would be a great match for Steve except that he’d told them he wanted to be able to have kids of his own. Jumping the gun again, Cap. 

He had suffered through the Rev. Fury and then the sex therapist’s drilling and was relieved that was over. His last interview had been with Tony Stark. He was a marriage therapist. 

“So tell me about your daily life, work, things you do after, you know…”

“I’m a homicide detective with the Boston PD. I work strange hours, sometimes long, sometimes I get comp time to make up for it. I love my job, so I need someone who gets that...maybe has their own job they love.”

“You have any luck with that in the past?”

“Would I be here?” Steve quipped back. 

“It’s a hard sell. Do you just want a housekeeper and bed warmer or are you willing to work at it?”

“Christ, no. I’m not a neanderthal. I want a partner. I want to look forward to my down time and know there is someone waiting. Sometimes I think I work longer because I have no one.”

“Bingo!” Tony said with pointy gun fingers. “We figured that out, now what else? What is your day to day routine, within reason? I mean clearly you work out.”

“I do, most every day. I run and I lift. I’d like someone who wanted to do that with me and who wants to eat healthy. I can tolerate eating candy and snacks, I love jelly beans, but I like to eat healthy meals.”

“You cook?” 

“I do cook, yes, though I am not fancy by any means. Breakfast is a protein powder and a banana every day. Creature of habit, here.” 

“Do you live within your means? Lavish lifestyle or country bumpkin?”

“I inherited a nice brownstone, but I live on my salary. It’s easy with no rent, but I’m a plain guy, burgers and beer or a lobster boil over a white napkin in my lap if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“How about night life? Clubbing? What’s your scene?

“God, no I haven’t gone clubbing in years, never liked it then. I’d rather go to a movie, go on a run, find a neat pub and have a beer.”

“Okay Detective, any deal breakers?”

“No high maintenance and I want at least one kid of my own.”

“Interesting,” Tony said and scribbled furious notes. 

  
  
  
  


***

“Well we’ve got three couples that we agree on, but we need a fourth. Any ideas?” Pepper asked Nick and Tony. 

“I like James Barnes and Steve Rogers. They would give us two guys to balance the two ladies and the other two guy/girl pairings,” Tony offered. 

“Now those two dudes make a handsome couple,” Nick added. “Let’s talk about how they match up.”

“Sexually, I didn’t pair them because Bucky’s ten years younger. Sometimes that gap causes issues in the bedroom, not to mention Bucky is a virgin,” Pepper chimed in.

“Really?” Tony asked, sounding surprised by that fact. 

“Really,” Pepper answered. “That worries me a bit.”

“Why does that bother you? Steve seems like a very patient person to me. He’s looking to settle down for sure. He’s lonely and I think he wants someone to really bond with,” Nick defended the match.

Tony nodded but then said, “I agree with Nick, but I’m concerned that Steve said his deal breaker was kids of his own.”

“Remember that Bucky is a male carrier. He and Steve can have kids of their own. And Bucky wants kids. He’s a kindergarten teacher and I think that’s adorable.” Pepper could not help but smile at that. 

Fury looked a little cross, forehead wrinkled. “Steve is a homicide detective, how is that even close to kindergarten?”

“Well, it’s not, but don’t forget that they both started in the military. They share that past life experience and I think they are currently career minded. They both admitted to me that they work long hours and want someone to come home to and spend time with on the weekends. I think that suits them well as a couple. If one was working long hours and the other wasn’t, that might be a conflict,” Tony thought aloud. 

“Neither of them is religious but they both claim some spiritual belief in the form or fate, so there’s a win there,” Nick commented. 

Tony piped back in. “They both wanted a partner who was physically fit and ate healthy. You have to admit that’s a match. Now we are getting somewhere.”

“Can anyone think of a reason they would not be good together?” Pepper suggested. 

The three experts looked to each other and shrugged.

“I think we should list them and then make our final decision after the home visits,” Nick said with a nod. 

“Alrighty then, we’ve got our final four couples pending the home visit approvals,” Tony said offering a high five to his fellow experts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you feeling?


	3. Are You Out of Your Mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve are the recipients of good news, all they have to do is share it with their families.

Bucky’s home visit had gone well but it had been a couple of weeks of constantly checked emails and hopeful looks from Nat and Clint, all to no avail. He was told he would hear either way, but he was discouraged and maybe even a little disappointed. Before the home visit he had been filled with apprehension, but it had been such a positive experience. It had begun to sink in that this could really happen and he looked forward to them choosing him as a finalist. Still, his excitement was ticking down with each day that passed. He felt like he should have heard something by now if they had found him a match. 

He was working out in his apartment building gym, the attendant on staff spotting him, when he heard a ruckus behind where he was bench pressing. He pushed the weights up and set them back in the rack, to sit up and see what was going on. He looked across the room and there was the se therapist, Pepper Potts walking towards him, camera and sound guy following along. 

“James!,” she exclaimed, offering her hand. He reached out to shake and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. 

Jesus Christ. He hadn't showered before his workout, hair in a messy bun up out of the way, and he was sweating up a storm. Ever the example of social grace, Pepper didn’t even wipe her hand off when he let go of her. 

“Hello Ms. Potts, how are you?”

“Oh please, call me Pepper. I’m well, how have you been?”

“Good, busy at school, but good,” Bucky answered. 

“Well, James, I have come with good news. We have found you a match.”

It felt like all the air in his body was trapped and he desperately needed to take a new breath but couldn’t. It took him a second to figure it out...breathing that is.

“James, are you okay? Did you hear me?” Pepper said, looking suddenly concerned.

“Uhhh, yes! I did hear you...I-I just can’t believe it,” Bucky managed to say weakly. Something, a mixture of hope and horror welled up inside him and threatened to explode from his eyes, He blinked furiously and covered his face with his hands to regain his composure. 

“Well, believe it my friend. Are you happy about it? How are you feeling about the news?

“I’m happy I think?” Bucky answered honestly. “I mean, yeah, I wanted to be matched, but It had been a long...at least I thought it had been _too_ long, and I had kind of given up,” he confided. 

“Never say never, James. You are officially engaged to be married. The wedding takes place two weeks from today. We worked it out with your spring break from school. Now all you have to do is tell your family.”

Oh shit! _Oh shit!_ Bucky had never mentioned the possibility to his family. He felt his vision going black. Fuck! What were his parents going to say? Becca? His lungs suddenly billowed with regret and he breathed it out in a sort of groan.

Pepper brought him out of it by discussing all the details. The crew with her would be his camera crew for the reveal to his family. Bucky’s life was suddenly complicated.

James Buchanan Barnes was engaged to be married! 

***

It was a Saturday afternoon when Steve heard an unexpected knock. He was in sweats and a t-shirt, not prepared for company. Maybe it was Sam with his son, Sam Jr., whom they all fondly called Little Man. He loved the donut shop just down the street from Steve’s place. He hadn't seen him since Sharon had given birth to their second child, a girl named Infinity. 

Steve whipped the door open, excited at the thought of a little toddler fun. 

It was not Sam. 

“Hello there, Steve,” Nick Fury’s voice echoed in his entry. 

Steve stood still, staring shell shocked at the man he was not expecting. It had been nearly three weeks since Pepper Potts had done his home visit, loving his brownstone and remarking at how well he kept house. She especially loved his stocked fridge and the fruit bowl on his counter, of all weird things. 

Rev. Fury’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Hey, are you going to invite me in or should I give you the news on the front step of this very nice brownstone in front of all your nosy neighbors?”

“Oh Geez, sorry,” Steve said, stepping aside and motioning for the man to enter. Please come to Rev. Fury.”

“Thank you, and please call me Nick,” he said as he held out his hand. Steve shook it, wishing his palms were not sweat faucets at this very moment. 

“You doin’ alright, Steve? Looks it to me...this is a sharp place you got here.”

“Thanks, my grandfather left it to me. I’m doing well. How about you?” Steve managed, mouth a little dry, probably because he was sweating so hard in situational panic mode. 

“Oh I am just dandy. I come with news, happy news for you. We have found you a match!”

“Really?” Steve felt the excitement and fear burn through him in an instant, leaving him in a full body sweat. A hot flash of sorts. 

“Yes, really.”

“I can’t believe it.” Steve said, mostly to himself. 

“What can’t you believe?” Nick asked. 

“I just didn’t think that...I guess I never expected to get picked, let alone get a match,” Steve answered. “Is she, are they nice?”

“Now you know I can’t comment on any of the details, but you my friend are officially engaged.”

“Engaged?” Steve felt the words fall out of his mouth awkwardly.

“Yes indeed, and in two short weeks you will be a married man,” Nick added with a round laugh.

 _Fuck,_ was all Steve heard despite the fact that he knew Nick was handing him paperwork and going over details about the next two weeks. 

“Now that we got that out of the way all that’s left to do is let your family know so they can participate as well.”

“Fuck,” Steve coughed out before he could heck himself. Maybe he should have told his Ma about this along the way. She was going to find this hard, Steve thought in hindsight.

Steven Grant Rogers was engaged to a complete stranger. 

***

Bucky took a personal day to go see his family. He didn’t have a choice. He certainly couldn’t tell them something like this over the phone, not even over skype. In three years, Bucky had never taken time off, so Sr. Edwardine didn’t even blink. Now Bucky was driving the almost four hour trip to break the news to his family. 

Bucky didn’t mind driving. He packed himself a healthy snack bag, but started his morning at six with a trip through the Dunkin Donuts drive through. A large coffee light and sweet and 3 glazed donuts. Driving always made him sleepy, so he let himself have all the sugar he wanted. He hit the highway grateful his new lease had apple car play so he could just use his own playlists instead of searching for radio stations. He ate his way through the four hour trip and hit Brooklyn shortly after ten in the morning. 

“Bucky!” His Ma came running out of the house to greet him. His sister and father were at work and would be home later. 

He hugged her, so glad to feel her arms around him. He had not slept well since Pepper’s visit and he let himself sink into her, the smell of home bringing him comfort. He was excited about getting married but nervous about telling his family, especially his Ma. 

Winifred Barnes knew something was up. Bucky could tell. She knew everything about him. _Everything_. She did what she did best, softened him up with his favorite foods. He chowed on a huge bowl of matzo ball soup and a think sandwich with his favorite pastrami. 

“You gonna tell your mother what’s wrong?”

Bucky shook his head and put his sandwich back on his plate. “Geez, Ma! Can I even eat before you start the interrogation?”

“So there is something wrong. I figured when you came home for the weekend before so close to your break...not to mention you don’t often leave your kids on a Friday.”

“Nothing is wrong...exactly.”

“Are you okay, honey?”

Bucky nodded but now that he was home, the pressure of the last few weeks started to leak out of his eyes. He wasn’t really a crier, but he’d always been a mama’s boy and her sweetness always broke him down quickly. She could excise his issues like a surgeon. 

She stood next to him as he sat at the kitchen table of his youth and with his head tucked under her chin, he cried quietly into her shirt. She smoothed his hair and said nothing, just letting him feel the release of emotion. 

“You want to wait for Dad to come home or tell me now and have some moral support?”

Bucky chuckled and let go, wiping his eyes with his hands. “This one better wait.”

She didn’t bother him anymore about it and changed the subject to his class and what they were doing in school. Bucky loved his Ma. 

The afternoon painfully dragged on, but finally his sister, Becca, got home and they watched netflix until their dad was done with work. George Barnes was a hard working man who drove a bus route for the city. He gave Bucky a big hug and then went to change his clothes. 

As suspicious as Bucky’s Ma had been, she must not have let on to Bucky’s dad, who was loving but not as cognizant as his wife. They made it through dinner and Bucky was picking at a piece of berry pie when his mother pulled off the bandaid for him. 

“Bucky has something to tell us, George. It’s why he came home,” she said gently. 

“What do you mean, the boy doesn’t have to have an excuse to come home. We haven’t seen him since New Years. Maybe he just missed us, right Bucky?”

“Well, I hate to admit it, but Ma is right. I did come home to tell you something...something important.”

George looked up, face serious. “Okay Bucky. Go on then. We’re listening.”

Bucky took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. His eyes were a bit shiny so he dabbed at them with the sleeve of his hoodie. 

“You’re starting to scare me, Hon,” Winnie said. “Just tell us, we love you.”

“I know, Ma. I know. Don’t be upset. It’s fine, good really. It’s just going to be a shock. I’ll just say it. I’m engaged.”

His mother and father said nothing. Becca shouted.

“What the fuck, Bucky? We didn’t even know you were dating anyone. I’ve asked!”

“Well, that’s because I’m not dating anyone.” His family looked confused. “I’ve applied and I am a finalist on the show Married at First Sight. It’s a season for bisexuals. I won’t meet the person I am engaged to till the actual wedding.”

His mother reacted first, “Are you out of your mind? That is a shitty reality show that Eleanor and her gossipy friends watch!”

Bucky didn’t think he had ever heard his mother swear. “Ma!”

“Don’t you Ma me! You had better be joking and bring some nice young girl or boy home that you’ve been dating behind our backs. We don’t care. You know that.”

“Ma,” he tried again. He looked to Becca who now looked hurt and just shook her head. 

“What did I say about that? Don’t Ma me again, so help me…” and then she stormed off to her room upstairs. 

Bucky looked to his father to see how he was reacting. His father spoke up, quietly. “What did you expect to happen, coming home with that bombshell?”

Bucky swallowed thickly, searching for words. “I don’t know. I guess...I don’t know. Dad, I’m 29 and I’ve never even slept with anyone-”

“Rebecca go upstairs and check on your Ma, please,” George interrupted. When she did not move, he said it more firmly. “I said, go.”

He waited for Becca to go upstairs before turning to Bucky. He motioned for Bucky to come sit closer to him, so Bucky took his mother’s chair. His father reached over and took Bucky’s hands in his, even his metal hand, which he did not often touch. 

“Bucky, James...what are you doing? Marrying a stranger? You don’t have to do this. You are a wonderful young man. You have always been kind and caring, even as a sniper in the army. You always felt bad about what you did. Is that what this is about? Are you having a hard time? Have you tried those dating things on the phones people always talk about?”

“Dad, I’ve tried lots of things. I have never even found anyone I would bring home.” 

“James, I have never been the kind of father who got in your business, I let your Ma handle more of your raising, but if this is about you being a carrier or feeling like you’re different or something, we can help you.”

“No Dad, you and Ma are great. You always raised me to appreciate and respect who I was, it’s not that. I just never met anyone I really wanted to be with. I see so many families that seem to have it all and I can’t even get a date…” 

“C’mere, Bucky boy,” his Dad said as he stood. Bucky took a step toward his Dad and got pulled into a tight warm hug. “I love you, James. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were feeling so bad about being single.”

Bucky felt tears welling and tried to fight it. He was not going to cry. His dad walked them over to the living room and they sat on the couch. 

“Tell me about this show. How does it work?”

Bucky sniffed. 

“It’s not like they just randomly pick two names from a hat. There are experts with PhDs that chose the couples.” Bucky went on to explain the whole process and his Dad listened before going upstairs to see how Winnie and Becca were doing. 

Bucky did the dishes to stay occupied while his family was upstairs. He knew it might not go well, but he was not prepared for it to go this poorly. He was starting the dishwasher when he heard footsteps. 

“Your father says you’ve thought this out. He told me about the show, the people in charge.”

“Ma, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I first applied so you could see all the steps I’ve been through.”

“Bucky, you are my sweet loving boy and you deserve to be happy. What if this person isn’t nice. You won’t know that until you’re alone with them. What if they aren’t good to you?”

“I’m fit. I can take care of myself, and there are going to be cameras, Ma.”

Bucky finally looked at her. She’d been crying. He could tell she was trying to understand now. 

“I’m lonely, Ma. I want someone of my own. I want a family. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“You could get stuck with someone you genuinely don’t like.”

“Then I’ll get a divorce at the end of the 8 weeks.” His mother tisked at him. “Ma, you told me yourself, that a long time ago, your family had arranged marriages.”

“That was generations ago, we’ve come a long way since then.” She paused and then said, “I want you to be happy and I’m sorry I wasn’t more aware of how you felt. If you’re really sure about this, I’ll support your choice.”

“Thanks, Ma,” he said with a kiss to her cheek. “Now I just have to ask Becca to stand with me at the wedding.” 

***

Steve drove out on Sunday morning to have brunch with his Ma at her house in the suburbs. He wore the cream cable knit sweater she had made him for Christmas with a pair of jeans. She had cooked his favorites, sausage, egg and cheese croissant casserole and her homemade cinnamon buns, but Steve was struggling to eat. 

“You alright, Steven. You usually scarf down brunch like you never get any fun food,” she said with a laugh. 

Sara Rogers was a lovely, put together looking woman. She was, single handedly, the best mother ever. Steve had counted himself lucky to have her. She could also read him like a book. 

“Ma, I got something to tell you. I’m not really sure how you’re going to feel about it. You know how I am, so I’m just gonna tell you that I’m getting married.”

“You’re what? To who? Whom?” Sarah Rogers was stricken, her usually soft face marred with a look of shock.

“Well, this is where it gets tricky. I don’t know who I’m marrying until I get to the wedding.”

His mother laughed out loud. “Very funny Steven. Now eat, and tell me what you really came to say.”

Steve sighed, long and drawn out. “Ma, you know over the years I’ve dated but never found anyone I really could love and who would love me back, just for me. I’m thirty nine. I have never even lived with anyone. Pretty soon I’m gonna be too old to be a good dad.”

“I am not sure what you are getting at Steven. Spit it out.”

“There's this tv show. It’s called Married at First Sight. They are having their first bisexual season, and they’ve picked me as a finalist. I have a match.” 

“Steven, that show is one step from Jerry Springer, I have seen it looking for that little people show. You can’t be serious.”

“Ma, I’m tired of being lonely.”

“Oh, Steven. Come here,” She said as she moved to him and pulled him into a hug. “Sweetheart, I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt. What if the person they’ve picked for you is just one of those people seeking attention, a drama queen or something?”

“Worst case scenario, I get divorced at the end of 8 weeks at no cost to me.”

“Oh God, Steven. That does not make me feel better. It sounds like you’ve made up your mind, though. You better eat and tell me more about these shenanigans.”

Steve started to tell her about the whole process and began to feel a little better, even sounding excited about the prospect of getting married, not realizing that he’d finished off half the casserole and two cinnamon buns before he was done talking. 

“I can’t say that I am totally in love with this, but you are an adult and can make your own choices. Are you sure this is legit?”

“I think it’s worth the risk, Ma.”

“Promise me you won’t let your heart get broken,” Sarah said with a sad smile. 

“I promise, Ma. Thanks.” There was an ache welling in his heart for being the source of her sadness. 

She put her hand on his arm and looked directly into his eyes. “Steven, you’ll be a wonderful husband and father. I hope this works out for you. You deserve to be happy.”

Steve put his face in his hands and a few sobs escape the cracks in his heart's fragile veneer. He hoped so, too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> up next...the wedding...


	4. Married at First Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A string quartet began to play somewhere and Steve recognized it as Pachelbel's Canon, only because it had been played at Sam’s wedding. He glanced over at Sam and shrugged as they shared a warm smile. Then the large wooden doors swung open and Steve froze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! I just want to say thank you to all of you for trying this crazy concept with me! I needed a break from my longer Stucky fic to rejuvenate my thoughts on it. I ask you to go with the flow on some of the facts in this chapter, I tend to make shit up to make my story work! Creativity, yeah that's what that is. There is a little gender stuff here about who's roles are who's in a wedding, etc. Not intending to offend anyone is same sex marriages, just quirky things this couple works through. I am a wedding nerd, so prepare to be soft for a bit. I like emotional characters even when they are strangers. Buckle up. Enjoy!
> 
> Also, I corrected the tags a bit. I am a bad tagger and got some help to streamline and more appropriately tag the fic. 
> 
> Also, someone pointed out that carrier fic where men can have babies but it's not ABO is not on trend. I just want my couples to have babies and I do not always want to write ABO, so bingo, some men can have babies. The end.
> 
> Also, Wedding outfit post on Tumblr. 
> 
> https://willbakewithstucky.tumblr.com/post/636768759923752960/who-signed-me-up-for-this-anyway-a-stucky-modern

Bucky was puzzled. In all of the seasons that he, Nat, Clint, and Becca had fast forward binged through the weekend before the wedding, the brides got together and the grooms got together. His season had told them they would be skipping that activity. Nat had a theory about it.

“They can’t let the guys and the girls get together because there must be at least one same sex couple and they don’t want you to meet before the actual ceremony.”

Becca, who was here early as Bucky’s _ best sister _ and had helped when they all went to choose Bucky’s suit for the wedding, chimed in as well. “That’s it Bucky. There are going to be two guys as a couple. Maybe it’s you and broad shoulders, tiny waist guy!”

Boy did Bucky ever regret mentioning him when they were all a little wine drunk. They had not left him alone about it since then. The truth was, Bucky had shared some moments with Mr. Broad Shoulders, Tiny Waist, in his own little fantasy world. He was concerned about what happened when he did  _ not  _ end up with said object of private thoughts. He was more and more worried that he would be too disappointed to appreciate who he did get. 

“Guys come on, don’t. I need to keep an open mind to anyone they pick for me. That guy might tick all my boxes but he is a pipe dream and we don’t even know if he’s a finalist.” 

From the change in tone, he could tell he had gotten through to Nat. “Okay Bucky, you’ll get someone that will be perfect for you. No one could not love you.”

“I really hope so, Nat. I’ve got all my eggs in one basket.”

“Literally,” she snorted. “Like I can hear your baby clock ticking from here.” 

“Fuck off and quit being a tease,” He said tossing a throw pillow at her. 

***

Steve was a wreck. Sam had to carry his dead weight at work, he was barely able to go through the motions. Luckily, they had only had a couple of straightforward cases that were tied up quickly. 

He’d found out that they were not letting the ladies or the guys meet before the wedding and now he was obsessed with knowing why. He was sure it was because there was going to be a same sex couple and they wanted that to be a surprise. 

Sam and Thor had gone with him to get his suit for the wedding and they were having pizza and beer at his place after. 

“What are you worrying about?” Thor asked. “You are absolutely obsessing over this lack of a meeting of the other grooms. It’s like when you get a case with no leads.”

“I am not obsessing...well maybe I am a little..fuck, alright! There was this guy at the interviews weeks ago. Blue eyes, quiet.”

“Oh ho ho,” Sam shouted. “You can’t do that. You cannot go in there with a game plan. You have to go in with an open mind. You keep thinking of this one guy, and you are gonna find yourself disappointed.”

“Like I don’t fucking live that over and over in my head daily already, Captain Obvious,” Steve snarked. 

Thor, ever the messenger of positivity, chimed in. “This is a happy time for you, Steve. You’re going to be good to whomever they pick and I’m sure they will be compatible. Plus, you’ve got a nice suit for the wedding. All is well.”

“Let’s hope you’re right,” Steve said draining the last of his beer.

***

Bucky was with his father, in a room off the main area where the wedding was to take place. Outside the room, large wooden doors kept him from seeing what was going on. He assumed his dad would be shown to his seat before Bucky went to the front of the room to meet his bride or groom. 

“You look fantastic, Bucky. They certainly spared no expense on the suit, huh?” his dad said in an attempt to calm Bucky with small talk. 

There had been no budget and Becca, Nat, and Bucky had chosen well. It fit him like a glove and he felt stunning. Not to mention, there was an entire team to help him get camera ready. He’d always hoped to feel this good about his appearance on his wedding day.

Despite the hint of confidence the suit and hair leant him, Bucky was a wreck. full of excitement one minute and stomach sick with concern, maybe even regret, the next. 

“Thanks, Pops, they dolled us both up pretty good here, I guess.” 

There had been stylists for hair and makeup for the two weeks leading up to the wedding, they were filming a tv show after all. That had been an adjustment. After Bucky returned from telling his family, he signed the rest of the nondisclosure documents and then there were periodic things he had to stage and film. Telling his friends was one of them and of course they were complete douche canoes about the whole thing. They weren’t really, but Bucky could tell they were pouring it on thick when they went suit shopping. 

He’d refused for them to film him while working though, and they did not force the issue. Bucky needed to be there for his kids regardless of what was going on in his personal life. 

Suddenly one of the assistants with a headset approached. “Hey you ready? It’s time to go down the aisle. “Your sister will be at the front waiting with Reverend Fury.”

“Oh, okay, see you later, Pops,” he said as he and his father hugged one last time. 

“No, don’t you want your Dad to walk you down the aisle?”

Bucky was confused. Grooms didn’t walk down the aisle with their father. They waited at the front, unless…

“Why am I walking down the aisle? I’m a guy,” Bucky asked. “Shouldn’t I just go to the front and wait?”

“Listen, it’s a wedding. Someone has to walk down the aisle and I guess the producers picked you. Are you ready?” The assistant asked again.

“No, I mean, I don’t know.” Bucky turned to his father, his anxiety ratcheting up by the second. “Dad…” 

His father looked him dead in the eye and said confidently. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, son. I’ll stop all of this, just tell me you want out.”

His dad’s support let him take in a much needed breath. He felt the panic diminish ever so slightly. “I just need to think a minute.”

His dad began to think aloud for him. “Alright, Bucky, let’s work this out. It’s a tv show. They’ve clearly made someone the bride and someone the groom. You know that means you’re probable the bride for the sake of things. That also means that likely there is a guy at the front of the room waiting for you. I’m going to assume you’re okay with that or you wouldn’t have chosen to participate.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I’m not sure I’m thrilled with being the  _ bride  _ role, but I get it.”

“You don’t have to be. We can just stop it and tell them we’re out if you want. Just say the word,” his dad confirmed. 

Bucky paced back and forth for long enough that another assistant came to check on them. The two assistants whispered in the corner and then stood waiting. 

Bucky’s thoughts were running wild. He went from one extreme to another. He wanted to go through with it, he'd come so far and come to grips with the whole process...was even looking forward to meeting his match. On the other hand he could walk and tell them no thanks. A tiny shred, maybe three or four brain cells were telling him that if it was a guy, it could be Broad shoulders, tiny waist guy. He shook that from his mind. Better not to get his hopes up. 

He didn’t know what to do when suddenly he felt ridiculous. He had given over to the process weeks ago. He had three people who were relationship experts who had chosen this match for him. They all had liked him, they were nice to him and they promised him a good match. 

“Fuck, it Pops, I came to get married and I am going out there.” 

“You’re sure, Bucky?”

“I am,” he said firmly. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

The assistant turned around and opened a box. He offered Bucky a gorgeous bouquet of white flowers that looked like they cost a fortune. 

“Listen, buddy. I don’t know you, so I’m gonna cut you some slack. I may walk down this aisle with my father, but I am not carrying flowers. Don’t push your luck.”

The assistant turned and whispered into his head set before turning back to say, “It’s okay, they say you don’t have to.”

“I don’t really give a shit what they say,” Bucky mumbled under his breath. 

“Okay, let’s go,” the first assistant said into his headset. “You’re going to walk down the aisle, slowly to the music and stop next to your mother in the front row, then the reverend will ask your father a question and you’ll be told what to do next.”

Bucky found himself standing in front of the enormous wooden doors that separated him from his soon to be spouse. He took a deep breath and exhaled. His father took a box of altoids out of his tuxedo pocket and offered one to Bucky. He took one and popped it in his mouth with a chuckle. His Pops was a good man and a loving father. He knew that breath mint would make him laugh and settle him down.

He hooked his metal hand into the crook of his dad’s elbow. May as well, they’d look stupid just walking side by side. His dad patted his hand gently. Bucky glanced over at him with a crooked smile before he spoke. 

“Ride or die, Pops, ride or die.”

***

Steve was a bundle of nerves. He and Sam were in a side room off the front of the large hall where the ceremony was to take place. His mom was already seated. She had softly asked him one more time if he was sure about going through with the wedding and she had warmly hugged him as she left with his answer. 

“I’m proud of you, Steven Grant. I love you so much. I hope this is the beginning of a very happy union.”

Steve had to breathe through his mouth to prevent himself from crying and Sam patted him on the back. “Alright there big guy. Today’s your day, Cap. Enjoy it.”

An assistant interrupted them, stating everything was ready and Sam and Steve needed to go out to the front of the guests. 

“You go first, Sam and then Steve, as the groom, go past him and stand in front of the Reverend to wait for your other half to come down the aisle.”

Sam gave Steve a big hug and clap on the back. “If you don’t like something, you just say the word and just like the sandbox, I got your back.”

“Thanks, Sam. For everything. You’re a great friend.”

He followed Sam out into the lavishly decorated hall and made his way to his place in front of none other than Reverend Fury, like he was told. His mom was in the front row wiping a tear as she saw him, he went over to speak to her.

“Hey Ma, you alright?” She nodded and he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love you very much.”

He stood and then realized his spouse's mother must be on the opposite side. He looked over and made eye contact with a woman in the front row about the same age as his mother. She looked slightly uncomfortable but was definitely eyeing him curiously. He made his way over. 

“Hello, I’m Steve Rogers. Are you…” Steve didn’t know what to say to finish his question. It was a little awkward.

“I’ve been told to be careful what I say until after, but, yes, I am going to be your mother in law,” Winnie said. 

“It’s lovely to meet you. We can talk more later, and thank you for coming and understanding and giving me a chance. I know this is a bit unconventional,” Steve whispered. 

Winnie nodded, and her eyes welled. “I just ask that you be kind.”

Steve swallowed hard. She seemed rather worried about that. “I assure you I intend to be nothing but kind.”

She nodded and he let go of her hand and stood by Sam. There was a girl across the way in a simple black dress. She waved at him. He went over and shook her hand. Then Nick rolled his eyes in jest and the guests laughed at his jovialness. Steve slunk back to his side and stood, waiting nervously...for his bride. 

It must be a bride because there was an aisle with a white carpet. A bridal carpet. Okay, he was marrying a woman. He was okay with that, bisexual and everything. Kids, they would have their own kids. He stood with resolve and prepared himself, letting go of any  _ other  _ thoughts and prepared to greet his beautiful bride. 

A string quartet began to play somewhere and Steve recognized it as Pachelbel's Canon, only because it had been played at Sam’s wedding. He glanced over at Sam and shrugged as they shared a warm smile. Then the large wooden doors swung open and Steve froze.

It couldn’t be. 

It  _ was _ . 

Sam must have caught on when he saw two men coming down the aisle. 

“Blue eyed quiet guy?” he heard Sam whisper.

He just nodded and watched as the handsome man walked down the aisle toward him. He looked beautiful, more beautiful than Steve had remembered, in his royal blue velvet suit jacket and blue pants. They looked like they were hand tailored for him, snug in the most perfect places. The white shirt and black bowtie framed his smiling face. The bright blue of the jacket set off the blue in his eyes and they pierced into Steve’s soul as he walked down to meet Steve.

He was clearly muscular, fit and trim, and had lovely brown hair to his shoulders, part of it pulled back, artfully, to keep it out of his face. His beard was there, but not full like his own. He was everything Steve could ever want in a husband, in appearance. 

Relief welled up inside him and soon transformed into a whirling pool of happiness. Steve almost couldn’t contain it. He thought he heard himself laugh aloud and he covered his mouth with both hands, closing eyes for only a nanosecond, lest he miss looking at his soon to be husband, to thank any being out there for letting this be his life. 

***

Bucky scrunched his eyes shut and gripped his father’s elbow as the doors opened. Whoever was there when he opened them would be the person he would marry today.  _ Please fuck let them be decent.  _ He heard music and opened his eyes. 

“No way,” he whispered. “Good Christ almighty.”

“What Bucky?” his dad asked, covering his hand and holding it tightly.

“Pops, it's him. Broad shoulders, tiny waist,” he whispered again. 

“Really?” his dad asked. “Is that good?” Bucky nodded in return.

“Start walking,” the assistant whisper shouted.

Bucky remembered he had feet and felt his father pull him along, so he began to step forward. The room was probably beautifully decorated, Bucky never saw it. He only had eyes for his future husband. 

The man was impeccably dressed in a soft teal velvet jacket and black pants. The jacket was the same cut as Bucky’s, a shawl cut, they had called it several times during his fittings. It fit him like a comfortable second skin. He was tall, very handsome, with perfectly sculpted short hair, old school Hollywood almost. He had that incredible beard. God it looked so soft. 

Practically a god in physical appearance, this man was clearly built, and Bucky felt relief bubble up through him. His smile looked genuine and a couple of times he clapped his right hand across his chest, like he was covering his heart. When they were about halfway down the aisle, Bucky locked eyes with him and felt the softness in his soul. This was going to be a good day, the first in a lot of good days. Bucky could feel it.

There were quiet murmurs through the crowd. The feeling was electric. Bucky could feel that everyone realized this meeting was special. 

When he and his father got to the front of the chairs, they stopped. Becca cleared her throat and Bucky looked at her. His face must have said it all because she tilted her head and nodded at him. Then the reverend, Bucky had not even noticed it was Nick Fury, broke through his thoughts.

Bucky’s eyes flitted from Nick’s to the man’s and back, wanting to stay with the man, but needing to know what to do next.

“Who gives this man to be married today?” Bucky felt immediately embarrassed. 

****

Steve watched with unadulterated joy as his soon to be husband walked closer. He was so happy, he kept grabbing at his chest, a nervous habit of his. He  _ was  _ a little nervous. He hoped this beautiful person was feeling as good about the match as he was. He looked happy as far as Steve could tell. 

They had stopped at the front of the guests and then Nick asked the ridiculous question about who gave this man away.  _ Jesus _ , Steve thought that sounded rather primitive. Who even gave people away anymore, plus this guy wasn’t a bride. Blue eyed quiet man’s face dropped. His cheeks pinked and Steve could tell he was uncomfortable. He whispered to his father, looking more and more upset. 

Steve stepped down towards the man and his father holding his hands up in a calming gesture. “Hey, I don’t mean to hijack this ceremony or anything, but I don’t really want anyone to give anyone away.”

The Blue eyes looked up at him and looking relieved, said, “Thank god, because it’s not gonna happen.” 

Steve looked to the man’s father and offered his hand. They’d been told not to reveal their names until the officiant did, so Steve was careful not to say anything. The older gentleman shook it and Steve nodded. Then he looked to his groom. 

“What do you say we walk the rest of the way together?” Steve asked. 

His groom smiled and answered, “Thanks, that would be much better.”

Steve nervously offered his left arm and the blue eyed man, cheeks still a bit pink, slid his hand in place and they walked the rest of the way to the steps and up to the platform where the ceremony would take place. They had to shuffle sides when they got there, so that Steve was back with Sam, but they laughed and got into place. 

Steve had never seen such beautiful blue eyes in his life. He could love this man, he was sure of it.

****

Bucky would be forever grateful to his soon to be husband for rescuing the awkward moment when they expected Bucky’s dad to give him away. Bucky was mortified and yet was so nervous, he did not know what to do. His groom did, and he did it gracefully. 

Now they stood facing each other and waited for the ceremony to start. Bucky was practically vibrating out of his skin. 

“As you can see these two are going to work very well together, already intuitive to the other’s needs,” Nick chuckled, causing the crowd to laugh. It broke the tension of the rough start to the wedding. 

“Welcome everyone to the wedding of Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes.” Nick looked to Steve and said, “Steve meet for the first time, James.”

“Hello James,” Steve said, hardly able to contain his smile. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you. You look very nice.” The guests laughed and awwed at the introduction.

“Thank you,” Bucky said, smoothing his suit jacket, suddenly feeling very shy.

“Steven, James’ family and friends would like you to know that he is a very kind and loving man. He has a heart of gold and a love of life. He is as smart as he is handsome. Beyond his initial shyness, he is funny and his laugh is contagious. James gets along famously with children. He is known as the baby whisperer among his friends. He is a wonderful son and brother. He loves deeply and will be a dedicated husband and father.”

Bucky struggled with his emotions as he listened to the sweet words that his family had written for Nick to read to Steve. He felt a tear slip down his cheek. He saw blurry movement through the tears and Steve offered him a clean white handkerchief out of an inner pocket of his jacket. 

“Here,” Steve said simply, not drawing further attention to Bucky’s tears. 

Bucky blotted his eyes and huffed out a breath. “Sorry,” he said and then laughed. Steve smiled softly at him and nodded. When he had settled, Nick continued.

“James, meet for the first time, Steven.”

“Hey Steven. Thanks for the handkerchief. I’m glad to meet you. I see we both have good taste and went with velvet. That’s a good sign. You look great.” Way to word vomit, Barnes, he thought as the crowd giggled and awwed at him this time. 

“James, Steven’s mother and friends want you to know that Steven is loyal and kind. He is a homebody, a man of simplicity. He would rather grill burgers than go somewhere fancy. He is a hard worker, a good son and a generous friend. He would love nothing more than to fall in love and raise a family. He has an incredible laugh and without a doubt will give you his all.”

Steve was now in need of a handkerchief himself. Hearing those things about himself brought forth a flood of emotion. Never one to be unprepared, he pulled a second handkerchief from his pocket, delighting the crowd causing them to burst into laughter once more. He wiped his eyes and shrugged as he looked to Bucky. A quick nod reassured him and he took a deep breath. He was really getting married. This was really happening. 

“Steven and James have written their own vows. Steven, will you please recite your vows to Bucky”

Steve momentarily panicked. He had written very generic vows, not knowing if he was marrying a man or a woman and he couldn’t say those things to James. No, he had better things to say to him. He took a moment to settle his thoughts. 

“I’m not gonna lie, I am not going to say what I wrote. Those words don’t fit anymore. I have to be honest and tell you that I saw you on the first day and you can ask my friends, I fell for you that day without even meeting you. You have the most incredible blue eyes. They sear into me when you look at me, like you can see my soul, but in the kindest way. James, I was lonely, that’s why I agreed to do this. I just want to love you and be loved in return. As we get to know each other, I will be there for you. I will respect you and support you in all you do. If all of this craziness goes to plan, I promise I will take care of you and love you forever.”

“God, thank you so much, that was really sweet,” Bucky replied genuinely.

“Now James will recite his vows to Steve.”

“How to top that? Not gonna happen, but I have to throw out what I prepared as well. The irony of the whole situation is that I saw you on the first day, too. I know you caught me looking. I was looking at the cute dimple in your cheek there. I was kind of mortified. But I knew I felt something. I told my friends about you and called you broad shoulders, tiny waist.” 

The crowd loved it and Steve laughed a delightful belly laugh that Bucky felt in his bones. “I called you Blue eyed, quiet guy.”

“Well, we’ve already got some things in common. I understand loneliness. It’s why I chose to participate, too. I come with some baggage, but I’m ready to love you and be loved in return. I work alot, and I love it, but when I come home, I want to give you my time and energy. I want to be what you need. I want to build a life with you. I want a family. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little scared, but I think we belong together. We were lost and somehow found each other under these wild circumstances, so it must be meant to be. I promise to be the best me I can and I promise that if we do fall in love, it will be forever.”

Steve wiped his eyes again. “Thank you, James.”

“Please join hands.” 

Bucky felt panic rise as he looked at Steve and offered his hands. Now he would know that Bucky had a prosthetic arm. Bucky was never sure how people would react. He saw the second Steve realized it as surprise flickered through his eyes. He looked down, then back up at Bucky, eyes questioning..

“Middle East,” Bucky uttered in explanation with a shrug of his shoulders. He gasped as Steve raised his hands to his mouth. Steve placed a quick kiss to the back of each of Bucky’s hands. The sweet gesture reassured Bucky and he relaxed. 

“Steven and Bucky are now going to exchange rings. Steve, place the ring on Bucky’s left hand and repeat after me…”

Bucky saw that Steve was concerned and he whispered, “My finger has a ring guard on it, it should stay on.” Bucky watched and listened as Steve slipped the simple gold band on his metal finger. It slid perfectly into place.

“With this ring I wed you, James, for today, tomorrow, and all the years to come. Please wear it as a sign of my commitment and a message to the entire world that I am your husband.”

Bucky looked down at his hand. Steve said, “ I meant to show you that it’s engraved. It says Til the end of the line, it was my battalion's motto.”

“No shit! Steve are you kidding?” Bucky felt himself trembling. “I was with the 107th, too. I had them put the same on the inside of your ring!”

The crowd audibly gasped and then broke out in applause.

“I don’t believe it. James, it feels like a sign to me.”

“You’re not kidding.”

“Well I don’t think any of us was prepared for that. James, how about you put that ring on his finger and repeat after me…”

Steve’s hand shook as James held it as still as he could with his prosthetic hand. He placed the similar gold ring on Steve’s finger and with a tremble in his voice said, “With this ring I wed you, Steven, for today, tomorrow, and all the years to come. Please wear it as a sign of my commitment and a message to the entire world that I am your husband.”

Now by the power invested in me, I pronounce you husbands. You may seal the ceremony with a kiss if you choose to do so.

Bucky looked at Steve and Steve asked sweetly, “May I kiss you, James?”

Nervous, but touched, Bucky answered, “Yes, thanks for asking.”

Steve leaned in and gently placed a warm, soft brush of his lips to Bucky’s. Bucky felt his eyes flutter shut. It was lovely, and gentlemanly. It was perfect, even if it made Bucky blush. When he opened his eyes, Bucky saw a little pink in Steve’s beard as well. 

They were married. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now, let the games begin. How are we doing? Comments fuel the writing fire and make me think happy thoughts! Happy thoughts turn into chapters!


	5. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who are you, James Buchanan Barnes? Blue eyed, quiet guy?” Steve asked quietly with a mischievous grin.  
> ‘Who are you?” Bucky shot back.  
> “I asked first,” Steve quipped. Bucky thought he might have just met his match in stubbornness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the feedback from all of you reading. What a treat! Thanks for reading and giving this a chance. I love a little getting to know you fluff.

The crowd was cheering and Nick told them to go down the aisle, back through the wooden doors and they’d be met and directed where to go from there. 

“Go on now, you’re married, take your first walk as a couple,” Nick said with a chuckle.

Steve smiled at Bucky like he was the center of the universe and said, “Well, James, you ready?”

Bucky felt his face absolutely glow, so happy to be on the receiving end of the look of a lifetime, and answered, “I’m so ready!”

Steve looked down at Bucky’s left hand, a look for permission, and Bucky nodded. Steve clasped Bucky’s metal hand and held it in his firm grip. It was one of the best feelings he had ever experienced since he lost that arm. It was as if Steve had held his hand a million times and also like it was the first time he’d ever been touched at all. 

Steve took the first step and then they were walking down the aisle, stopping to quickly kiss their mothers and to whoop to their friends. It was more personal than Bucky had imagined it could be, having just met Steve a short 20 minutes ago. When there were no more people to talk to or wave to, the two shared warm smiles and shy glances, cheeks pinking once again. 

They were greeted at the back of the hall by the same assistant that had ushered Bucky through the doors the first time. Bucky didn’t know what to do with his hand, let go or hang on, but Steve never let go, so Bucky went along for the ride. 

The assistant instructed them. “Through these doors is a private reception area. You have until the main reception to spend some time together and the lawyers will be in to do the paperwork. Normally it’s done in advance, but you couldn’t know each other to decide last names, etc. So, you have some talking to do. There is a phone in there on the wall. If you need anything, pick up and dial 2, someone will get you what you need. Stay here until I come for you.”

Bucky had completely forgotten about the name thing. So much to think about. They entered the small room that was lavishly decorated and the doors closed behind them.

They were alone. Married and alone...for the first time.

Bucky gently pulled his hand back and looked around the room. There was a bench seat, clearly draped and designed for a couple to sit on, and a table with chilling champagne, two chilled champagne flutes, and chocolate covered strawberries on a silver tray. 

When there was nothing else to look at in the room, they looked at each other. Bucky shrugged his shoulders, and they laughed. It broke the ice.

“Hey, James.

“Hey, Steven.”

“Steve, call me Steve.” 

Bucky heard Steve give his shortened name and he should have said _call me Bucky_ , but he didn’t and he didn’t know why. He just nodded at Steve and then to the champagne. “Should we pop it?”

“Yeah, I think we should,” Steve answered and took the bottle from the ice. He unwrapped the foil, twisted the wire loose and thumbed the cork with a pop and a flood of bubbles. Bucky grabbed the glasses and held them as Steve poured for them both. He handed Steve his glass and smiled shyly when their fingers brushed.

Steve held his glass up and said, “To us.”

“To us,” Bucky repeated and they clinked their glasses before sipping the expensive bubbly.

There was a lack of conversation, it was a tad awkward. Bucky had learned, in his short years of teaching, that filling that silence with anything was better than the awkwardness. 

“We’re married, can you believe it?” Bucky asked.

“Nope, I really can’t,” Steve answered. A moment passed and Bucky thought it would get awkward again, but Steve continued. “I have to say, I’m so glad it was you who walked through those doors.”

“I feel you there. I felt the same about seeing you at the end of the aisle.”

“Speaking of which,” Steve’s face contorted into a look of confusion, “why did they have you walk down the aisle? Did you ask to do that?”

“No!” he answered indignantly. “And I was about to freak out when they wanted my Pops to give me away!” Bucky exclaimed. He could feel himself getting riled up again. “Good save there, I appreciated that. Do you know they tried to get me to carry a big white bouquet of flowers?”

“Jesus, that’s ridiculous. First of all, we could have both walked out of doors at the front like I did, they must have done it for the showmanship. And, I mean you can give flowers to a guy, but a friggin bridal bouquet? No, just no.”

They laughed together for a minute, sipping champagne. Then Steve looked at Bucky with eyes that Bucky had never noticed were so blue. 

“I meant what I said up there, James.”

“I did, too.”

“Who are you, James Buchanan Barnes? Blue eyed, quiet guy?” Steve asked quietly with a mischievous grin.

‘Who are _you_?” Bucky shot back.

“I asked first,” Steve quipped. Bucky thought he might have just met his match in stubbornness. 

“I’m just a guy,” Bucky shrugged. 

“A shy guy?”

“Sometimes. This,” he motioned between them, “is hard. I mean, I didn’t get here by being the center of the party. I’m 29 and I signed up to marry a stranger.” Bucky huffed and drained his glass. Way to blow the mood, Bucky.

“Well, I got you beat. I’m 39 and agreed to marry a stranger. I think we might just get along pretty well. How about I ask a question and then you ask me one in return?”

“Sure, go for it,” Bucky agreed. He’d do just about anything to fill the time with less depression talk. 

“What do you do for work?” Steve asked and then put his glass down to take Bucky’s and refill it.

“Thank you. I’m a teacher?”

“Oh, English? History? No, Math?” Steve fished for specifics.

“Kindergarten.” 

“Really? Shit. I would never put a guy like you with little kids.”

Bucky laughed, “What’s that supposed to mean? Do I look like a serial killer or something?”

“No, no, that came out wrong. You, God you’re incredible. You’re built. You’re handsome and I mean the hair and you could be a bouncer or an MMA fighter, Jesus. Huh... Kindergarten.”

“Well, what do you do? Corporate world, lawyer?” Bucky asked for his turn.

“Boston P.D. Captain Steve Rogers, Homicide Detective.”

Bucky was stunned by the answer. “Fuck, Steve...that’s a hard job. Wow. That’s...that’s…”

“Scary?”

“Yeah, kind of scary. Do you like it?”

“Well, I know how to do it and I’m good at doing it. I was special forces in the 107th. Let’s just say it transferred well to the civilian world. I’m gonna assume you like teaching little kids?”

“Love it. Every day is an adventure. Kids are delightful. And messy, and noisy, but fantastic. They aren’t cynical. They love life. It’s contagious.”

“What did you do in the 107th?”

“Sniper.”

“Wow! How’d you get this?” Steve gently ran his hand over the back of Bucky’s metal knuckles. 

“Sniped while sniping in Iraq. Bad mix. My regular spotter wasn’t with me. The stand in with me got hit next. Head shot.”

“James, how did you survive?” Steve’s forehead did that wrinkly thing when he looked concerned, like earlier during the wedding.

“I put my own tourniquet on my arm and hiked out, equipment and all. Surviving took the arm, but the rest of me made it.”

“How far up? Do you mind me asking?”

“Nope, you’ll see it at some point. All the way to the shoulder. Lot of scarring around the shoulder, s’not pretty. I’ll have to show you sometime how to take it off, in case of an emergency or something.” Bucky felt himself tensing up talking about his injury. 

Steve seemed to sense the tension and giving Bucky a soft smile, said, “James, I bet every square inch of you is gorgeous, scars and all.”

Bucky felt the flush of heat through his whole body at Steve’s compliment. “I don’t know about that. It’s my turn-”

The doors opening startled them both and a man in a grey suit with a file full of papers entered the room. 

“Hi, I’m the attorney for the production company and we have to sign the certificate that will get filed for your legal marriage. Is anyone changing their name here?”

“Oh,” Steve said. “I’m not sure, we didn’t talk about that yet.” 

“That’s what you were put here to do, discuss the legalities. You can either leave your names and have different last names or you can hyphenate, or one can take the others. Up to you.”

Steve sought Bucky’s face and seemed to want his input. Bucky was convinced that Steve spoke more with his eyes, than with his mouth. “What do you think, James, hyphenate?”

“No way, I’m a teacher and I sign forms all the time and they have to put my name in computer systems and on certificates. I do _not_ want a hyphenated name. It would be a fiasco.”

Steve’s face dropped. “Oh, sure. I understand.” He turned to the attorney and said, “I guess no name changes.”

“Actually, I was thinking...I mean if Steve doesn’t mind…”

“Hey James, I wouldn’t mind except I am an only child and I wanted to-”

“In Kindergarten we do not interrupt each other, Steve," Bucky admonished playfully. “I was saying, If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to take your last name.”

Steve looked at Bucky and his eyes sparkled. His mouth broke into a toothy grin, damn Steve had perfect front teeth.

“Wow, James, I don’t mind at all. Are you sure?”

“Am I sure? Name one kindergarten teacher who would give up the chance to be _Mr. Rogers_?”

Steve laughed that deep belly laugh from the wedding. “Alright, Mr. and Mr. Rogers it is…”

****

When the legal paperwork was finished, one of the crew came and got them for the photographs. The next hour was both the best and worst experience Bucky had ever been forced through in his life. Standing close to Steve Rogers taught him two very important life lessons. 

First, Steve Rogers was the best smelling human being on the face of the earth.

Second, if he was not faking it, Steve Rogers was the kindest, most caring human being on the face of the earth.

If he were going for a third, it would be that being near Steve Rogers rendered Bucky nonfunctional and unable to human. At all. 

The separate family photos were easy. Bucky’s family was glad to see him alone for a minute.

“Bucky, sweetheart, are you okay? Is he nice, is he treating you alright?” his mother asked, voice brimming with worry..

“Ma, it’s been like an hour. I’m perfectly fine. He’s a nice guy from what I can tell. I’m stoked it was him.”

“Is he real or faking it, Jesus he is a hottie,” Becca added. Bucky rolled his eyes.

His father looked him in the eye and said, “Bucky, just remember we’re here close by if things don’t stay on this trajectory, okay. We’ll help you if you want out.”

Bucky looked at his family. He needed them to understand where he was in this whole process. He used his teacher voice. “I know you think I’m crazy to trust myself with a stranger, but I think he’s a really good guy and I don’t think he’s faking it. He’s being very appropriate and I think the potential is there for this to go well. Thanks, though, for being concerned.”

The combined family photos were awkward, but fine. Bucky watched Steve interact with his own mother and Bucky’s family. He was polite and sweet, everything Bucky wanted him to be. It looked to Bucky like family mattered to Steve as much as it did to him. 

“James, this is my mother, Sara Rogers,” Steve said endearingly. “Ma, this is, James, my husband." They quirk of Steve’s smile and the dimple deepening on the side of his face were enough evidence that Steve was really pleased to say that. 

The photographer seemed pleased with the results of the shoot. He asked Steve and Bucky to kiss a few times when they were in the center of the families, and Bucky was just about as inelegant as a new groom could be, but Steve was the picture of grace and decorum. He asked each time before he kissed Bucky. It was refreshing. 

Then it was time for individual shots. Cue the biggest, blundering fool ever in the form of one Bucky Barnes, well Bucky Rogers. Well, James Rogers since Bucky had failed to indicate to his husband that he had a nickname and had never gone by James in his life. 

Despite Bucky’s ridiculous inability to look at all in love, Steve made up for them and cracked little jokes to put Bucky at ease. Eventually, it began to work.

“I love your hair. Did you do it yourself?” 

Bucky giggled. Of course he did. He was supposed to be looking into Steve’s eyes lovingly. His laugh wasn’t a giggle...usually, but they’d drained the bottle of champagne and only eaten a few strawberries. 

“I did not. Someone did it for me today. I usually do my own hair, but I got married today.”

“Oh good to know that you don’t have a live in hair dresser,” Steve responded. “I got married today, too. To you.”

Bucky giggled again, fuck! It was just that Steve smelled so good and Bucky was happily buzzed. Too happily, he needed food.

The photographers continued to manipulate the couple into poses and snap pictures. They kept insisting that Steve and Bucky kiss, and despite being tipsy, Bucky was nervous to do anything besides a peck on the lips or cheek. It was all getting a bit strained. Them insisting, Bucky quietly ignoring them. Steve kindly acknowledging Bucky’s right to refuse. After an hour, Bucky’d had enough. 

“I think I need food,” Bucky said, laughing at himself. “Whooo, I am dizzy.”

“Hey, you alright?” Steve asked him, with that stupidly gorgeous concerned look on his forehead. “Let’s stop for a bit, he needs to eat something.”

“He can't eat while we are shooting,” the photographer insisted. “He’ll have food in his teeth or on his face. We’re almost done.”

“We’ve been at this for an hour. Listen it’s bad enough that we are pretending to be in love when we hardly know each other, but they gave us a huge bottle of champagne, which we drank. You guys had to know we were too nervous to eat this morning. I think you need to give him something to absorb the alcohol and continue or cut the pictures short. I’m not trying to be difficult, but he’s telling us he’s lightheaded.”

Bucky jolted when he heard Steve defend him. God it was so sexy. It wasn’t until Steve got to the part where he said they were pretending to be in love, that Bucky’s heart dropped. Bucky knew they weren’t in love, but it still didn’t feel good to hear it. Steve though, sticking up for Bucky, knight in shining armor material right there. It made Bucky feel much better, so of course he giggled.

The photographers promised only a few more and Steve, the saint, checked in with Bucky.

“You think you can do a few more? You just say the word, James, and we’ll stop.” Steve said with a hand on the small of his back. It may as well have been a red hot branding iron with the heat Bucky felt through his suit. 

“A few more, but not another hour. I really do need to eat.”

Steve then began to take more charge of Bucky’s well being and it was charming. He wanted to tell Steve to call him Bucky while he had the liquid courage, but somehow he just never did it. 

****

The reception was really not much more than a production number. The way James looked at him, Steve could see that he was tolerating it as much as he was. There were dances and toasts, but the cameras and the takes were a bit much. There was cold food after getting angles right and finally Steve leaned over and whispered to his brand new husband.

“We’ll have to have a real party when we’re a little more comfortable and no camera bullshit is going on.”

James smiled and nodded, “For sure. I had people I would have invited but I was limited. A BBQ would be fun this summer.”

Steve ginned wide and genuine. “That sounds perfect. Coolers of beer and soda, steak...wait, no! Hamburgers and hot dogs with a fixings bar and lots of sides. I”m not good at sides, but I can run a grill pretty well.”

“I can make salads and desserts. I make this really good pizza salad with italian dressing, it’s soooo good,” James jumped in. Steve loved the way his eyes lit up when he talked about things confidently. 

There were times that Steve could see James was nervous, like he wanted to ask him or tell him something, but he couldn’t seem to get it out. Steve wanted to be patient, wanted to make James feel at ease. Their private conversation was disrupted by the DJ calling them to cut the cake. 

They got posed and photographed and then they cut a slice. It was a beautiful cake, picked out for them, but tasteful. It was two tiers, smooth fondant hand painted with a floral wreath and gold leaf dotted artfully around the sides. It was the saying, hand lettered in gold script, that stunned Steve. He saw that James appreciated it as well, if the sweet soft look on his face said what he interpreted. 

_I have found the one whom my soul loves…_

They cut through and removed a slice, not marring the touching words. They used the large knife to cut the slice into bite size pieces. It was chocolate cake with some sort of light brown filling. Steve sensed James tensing and looking nervous when he once looked so pleased. Steve took a piece and encouraged James to do the same. James whispered something so quietly, Steve almost didn't hear it. He got closer, by his ear.

“What was that, James?” 

“Please don’t smash cake in my face,” he pleaded earnestly. 

Steve wrapped a hand around the bicep of James' mechanical arm. “I would _never…_ ” Steve answered as he gently offered the bit of cake to his husband. His _husband_. Steve swore to himself that he would help the beautiful man understand that he was not looking to control or embarrass him, just love him and feel that love returned. 

James smiled around the bite and chewed as he fed the bite he held to Steve. “Yummm, coffee!” 

James nodded and looked so relieved and bright eyed that Steve forgot for a minute that they just met, and he leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss to James’ cake crumbed lips. He startled and turned the most delightful shade of pink. James didn’t pull too far away, but he did make a little space. Steve was sure that below the collar of James’ meticulously fitted shirt the pink continued. He hoped someday to be able to check. 

They went back to their table and were served slices of the cake. 

“I love coffee flavored anything. Even my protein powder is coffee flavored,” James said enthusiastically.

“Damn, mine too when it’s in stock. It’s hard to get sometimes. I brought mine with me, I was hoping it wouldn’t bother you if I made if every morning,” Steve added.

“Hell, no! I brought mine, too, in a ziploc bag, I hope it doesn’t break open in my luggage.”

They finished their cake as the light dimmed and the DJ began to play dance music. There was an open bar and Steve looked to James, who shrugged. They hit the floor as typical wedding dance music pumped into the room. Their friends joined them, no chance at talking with the music so loud, but just having fun and doing their best to make the most of the awkward reception. 

Steve was getting sweaty, so he took off his jacket and motioned to take James’ as well. 

Bucky could dance, he had dance parties all the time at school and he and Nat had been out a few times before she got pregnant, her playing his wingman. This Bucky could do. They cameras were on the outskirts of the dance floor, so they all just danced away the time, Bucky grinding with Nat and Laura, feeling the tension leave his shoulders, finally. 

Steve offered to take his jacket and came back to the group with his shirt sleeves rolled up, massive forearms exposed. Steve was not a terrible dancer, but clearly the beer was helping him loosen up. Bucky danced with his husband, but stuck to the dirty dancing with the girls. Steve didn’t seem to mind, actually looked like he might be happy Bucky was having fun. Steve was incredibly attractive and the longer Bucky spent with him, the more he could see that Steve was a decent guy. 

After far too short a time of watching what was probably the real James, dancing with his friends, the music slowed down and the DJ played a slow song that clearly had a bunch of guys singing about making love to someone. They tried to get out of it, but no one would let them off the dance floor, so Steve took James in his arms and they danced. 

Steve could hardly be this close to James without being affected. They’d been drinking and James was fucking hot. He ticked all of Steve’s boxes with the added bonus of the long hair. To avoid embarrassing himself as the men in the song talked about how they would make love to the object of their affections, Steve kept their bodies from brushing together as much as possible. That got harder as James danced a bit closer as the song went on.

Jesus fucking christ, who picked I’ll make love to you, by Boyz II Men? Steve offered to dance and Bucky felt like he couldn’t say no, Nat laughing at him in the corner of his eye. Bucky was a couple beers in and Steve smelled like everything Bucky loved rolled into one giant hunk of hot man. He felt himself drifting closer as the song lyrics went on. It was heavenly and horrible at the same time. The song came to an end just before Bucky embarrassed himself and he stepped back like Steve was on fire. Steve smirked at him. He smirked. 

“On that note,” the DJ announced, “It’s time for us to say goodnight to Mr. and Mr. Steven Rogers as they head off to the honeymoon suite for the night.”

God, Bucky wanted to die. How cheesy and cringeworthy. 

“Fuck, that guy, James. Let’s get your coat and get out of this craziness.” Bucky nodded and then shivered as Steve helped Bucky into his jacket. Bucky re-tied his bow tie as Steve unrolled and buttoned his sleeves and then slipped into his soft velvet jacket himself. And here Bucky thought taking clothes off was sexy and delicious. Steve adjusting his bowtie back into place and finger combing his gorgeous brown hair back into its sculpted style caused issues for Bucky. Serious issues. 

Steve looked like he’d just stepped out of the pages of GQ even after the sweaty evening they had spent dancing. He offered Bucky his arm and walked him over to say goodbye to his parents and sister. 

“Good night Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, Becca,” he said as he nodded to them. He stepped back and let James have some time. His husband hugged each member of his family lingering and it hurt Steve’s heart just a bit. James seemed apprehensive to leave them. When he turned, James’ eyes were wet, as were his families. 

“Alright James?” he asked softly offering his arm again and walking to his own mother. At least James nodded his answer and came with Steve willingly. 

“Night, Ma. See you soon, okay. I’ve got my phone, so call if you need to,” he said as he hugged his mother goodbye. She reached out after their hug to offer one to James and to his delight, James took it. Steve clapped his hand over his heart. He’d always wanted a partner who could be a part of his small family. Maybe James was the one.

Their friends saw them off with hugs and teasing cheers. James was quiet but not hesitating to leave with Steve, so he grabbed his hand and pulled him close as the assistant ushered them to a very cliche horse drawn carriage. They climbed in and rode through the grounds of the venue to a stone castle style building where they stopped. Apparently these were the honeymoon suites the couples were staying at for the night before going on the official honeymoon. 

They were greeted at the front desk. “You must be the Rogers. Congratulations, I hope you enjoyed your wedding. We’ve been expecting you. Your luggage is already in your suite and we’ll be happy to escort you there now.” 

They walked to a large, curved, stone staircase and followed the hotel employee who led them to their room. Rooms. Large rooms. Steve tipped the employee and they left them.

Steve and Bucky were in their honeymoon suite...alone for the night. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you say anything, I had to stop there. If I didn't, I would not have posted anything until I finished the entire wedding night, and for Pete's sake we need time for that all on its own! Don't you think? 
> 
> Come on, comments are gasoline on the fire of fic writing!


	6. Confessions of a Newlywed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve walked past Bucky into the bathroom and closed the door. Bucky took deep breaths, trying to get himself feeling more confident. Before long, Steve sauntered out of the bathroom, smile on his face, and threw himself on the king size bed. 
> 
> “Feels, pretty, good, why don’t you try it? It’s a good mattress, I like mine firm.” Steve said, patting the bed next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT NOTE!!!! You must go back to chapter 5 and reread as I added a completely forgotten scene. Somehow I left out the section where they had their photos taken. It is very important to read before this chapter, because I think it build some of the anxiety Bucky has in chapter 6. 
> 
> Once you finish and come back, we have some wedding night jitters to work through. Lord these boys...

In a day filled with awkward moments, this particular moment had to be the worst, although Bucky could jinx himself if he wasn’t careful. If they were really married, and by really married Bucky meant if they actually fucking knew each other and were here because they were in love, they would more than like just go for it. Clothes would be shed quickly and the honeymoon sex would begin. 

They didn’t, they weren’t, and it definitely wasn’t. Wow! Bucky had clearly had too much beer during the dancing. He was used to running the show. Fifteen tiny people looked to him to lead them through their sweet little days together. He did it and he did a damn good job. Now, if only teaching kindergarten transferred well into what to do with a stranger on his wedding night. 

“I can actually hear you thinking over there,” Steve said from the door he had just closed. He clapped his hands and rubbed them together like a kid in a candy store. God Bucky longed to be brave outside his classroom. He wanted so badly to be as confident as this guy he had married, to look so ready for fun “Let’s look around and take advantage of aaaaall the amenities, I mean since we aren’t paying a cent.”

“Sure,” Bucky got out after nearly choking on the saliva that had pooled in his mouth. 

Of course adding to the apprehension was the fact that there were cameras set up in the room and footage was being taken of all their interactions up to a point.

“I don't know about you, but I’m ready to get out of this suit and into something more comfortable. Then we can explore a bit. By the way, If I didn’t tell you, you looked incredible today. That blue…”

“Sure,” was all Bucky could get out once more. Jesus he was a moron, stow your shit and get it together, Barnes...well Rogers now. Steve gave him an uncertain look, but then smiled a bit.

Steve had walked through the main room to the bedroom and was looking through his suitcase which was on a stand against the wall. Bucky saw his suitcase against the other wall and looked through it for his flannel sleep pants and a comfy t-shirt. He found them and stood, shifting from one foot to the other as Steve began to shuck his jacket and unbutton his shirt. Oh God, Bucky was gonna see Steve’s muscles completely uncovered and probably faint or choke to death. 

Bucky took his things and scooted around Steve without touching him to escape to the bathroom. He locked the door and undressed, folding every item carefully and enrobing himself in the comfort of his favorite St. Francis flannels and the purple t-shirt with his school logo. He felt somewhat naked thinking about being in front of a complete stranger in only these clothes, vulnerable in a way he hadn't before. He always wore these when Nat and Clint came over, this should feel no different, and yet it most certainly did. He didn’t know if he could actually face Steve this informal. 

If he didn’t know any better, didn’t have his logical brain telling him there was nothing to worry about, Bucky would say he was frightened. He liked predictability and routine, like he gave his kids in school.There were just too many variables for him now. He thought he might actually be shaking.

A few raps on the door startled the shit out of him and now he was shaking for sure. 

“Hey James, You okay in there? You didn’t fall in did you?” Steve laughed through the door. Oh, no, he might panic. Bucky hadn't done that in a while. He started to breathe like he did before a difficult parent conference and he took his pile of clothes to the door, twisting the knob to open it. He stepped out and put his suit on hangers in the closet.

Steve walked past Bucky into the bathroom and closed the door. Bucky took deep breaths, trying to get himself feeling more confident. Steve came out of the bathroom, smile on his face and threw himself on the king size bed. 

“Feels, pretty, good, why don’t you try it? It’s a good mattress, I like mine firm.” Steve said, patting the bed next to him.

That did it, Bucky turned away just as he heaved in a big breath and inhaled a fleck of saliva. He coughed a few times, eyes watering and honestly it wasn’t the choking, Bucky felt tears. Fuck this was going to end up beign the most humiliating night of his life. He should have been upfront since the beginning and told Steve where he stood. Who the fuck was he fooling? He didn’t even tell Steve his name. 

He needed to get out of the bedroom, just for a minute. He walked quickly to the area with the sofa and the fireplace, desperate to catch his breath. It took several minutes, but he was calming himself down and he wiped his face with the hem of his t-shirt. He was trying to figure out what to say to Steve when he heard the sound of a throat being cleared behind him. Steve.

“Hey, James.”

Bucky could not answer or he knew he would full on cry and that was not the impression he wanted to make on his wedding night. 

“I just wanted to be sure you’re okay. You need a minute, it’s okay...James?”

“Christ, please stop calling me James,” He sounded like such a jerk.

Steve didn’t answer right away. Bucky knew he was still there. He just stood close by. It was intense silence, the kind that ate away at your spine and made you tremble. 

“I’m sorry. I thought- it’s just that- isn’t James was what I was supposed to call you? What would you like me to call you?” Steve asked in the most confused, but patient and kind tone. 

“Bucky. Everyone calls me Bucky,” he managed to get out before he swallowed thickly, his throat making the loudest noise, filling the silence with more fodder for his humiliation. “I should have told you before when you asked me to call you Steve. I’m sorry.”

“Okay, Bucky it is. No need to be sorry,” Steve repeated, sounding closer than before. “You okay, you’re shaking.”

“I can’t Steve, I can’t do it.”

“Do what?” Steve asked, voice calm and even. 

“I don’t think I can get on that bed with you. I’m sorry.”

Steve must have been stepping closer the entire time because suddenly he was leaning over to look into Bucky’s eyes. “Hey, Bucky. It’s alright. You don’t have to. It’s cool, we could sit out here and talk on the couch for a while.”

Steve walked over and sat in the far corner of the big sofa and Bucky could tell he was trying to look small, like when Bucky crouched down to the new kids. Bucky was a nervous wreck, but he wasn’t ignorant.

“Come on, have a seat on that end and tell me what’s up, alright?”

“I'm so sorry, Steve. You’re a great guy, I’m not afraid of  _ you, _ I just don’t know what you expect and I’ll be honest, that freaks me out a little bit,” Bucky said from where he stood by the fireplace. He couldn’t even bring himself to move to the sofa with Steve. 

Steve shot straight up in his seat. He looked upset. He had the most expressive face and eyes. “God, I hope you’re not afraid of me. If I did something or said something-”   


“You didn’t. Jesus, I am ruining this whole day. I am sorry, Steve. I just…”

“You just what? Tell me...it’s alright.”

“I don’t know what your expectations are and that’s hard for me because I’m usually in control of all the expectations.” Bucky explained and briefly raised his eyes to Steve’s.

“My expectations?”

“Yes, what do you expect from tonight?” Bucky could feel his blood pressure pounding and the heat rush through him so hard he was sweating at the nape of his neck. Anxiety sucked. He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck. “Because I’m really nervous and I don’t do new things quite so well and there are things or at least one thing that I should have mentioned and I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to do right now in this situation-”

“Ah ha, now we’re getting somewhere,” Steve said as he got up off the couch and walked over to where Bucky stood by the fireplace. 

Bucky looked at Steve searching his face for clues about what he would say next.

“Number one, I expect  _ you  _ to take a few deep breaths and try to ease up on yourself.”

He took Bucky’s hands in his and kissed the back of each one like he had during the wedding.

“Let’s go, Bucky, deep breaths…” 

Bucky took several breaths, eyes closed. 

“Number two, I expect us to maybe talk a little more and then get some shut eye, it’s been a long fucking day. Better than I expected, but the cameras are tedious. How about we start there?” Steve asked, tilting his head and seeking Bucky’s eyes. His mouth was curved in a small smile, a gentle smile.

Bucky was so relieved a half chuckle, half sob, slipped out before he could stop it. Then he felt warmth and he realized that Steve had pulled him into his arms. He shook as Steve rubbed his back and Bucky didn't know if it was really just relief or the release of the tension of the whole marrying a stranger experience or if it was gratitude that maybe he’d have someone to love him. 

“Hey, Bucky, do you like baths? Sometimes when I have a shitty day at work, I take a bath. It helps me relax. Not that today was shitty,” Steve laughed. “I just meant that maybe you could relax and we could talk a little.”   


Bucky sniffed. “That’s very nice of you, but I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“For talking?” Steve looked at Bucky, puzzled. 

“No, for taking a bath together…” Bucky sighed.

“Oh, no no Bucky, you’re going to take a bath, I’m not,” Steve soothed. “Wait here a minute, okay?”

Bucky stood stiff as a statue, a shaking statue, and soon he heard the bathtub filling. Steve didn’t come back for a good five or ten minutes, but when he did, he took Bucky by the hand.

“Can you take a bath with your arm?” he asked softly.

“With my arm?” Bucky asked, the question not quite registering. Then he realized what Steve was asking. “Oh, yeah, fully submersible.”

“Good. I put some lavender bath stuff in the water. It’s cloudy. I hope that’s okay, I was thinking you could get in and I could sit here and we could just chat a little while.”

Bucky nodded. Somehow he trusted Steve, considering his reaction to Bucky having a 29 year old freak out attack right in front of him. He didn’t seem weirded out at all, in fact he seemed concerned. 

“Can you get in on your own? I don’t want you to slip or something if you’re unsteady,” Steve asked.

“I’m fine. I can get in.”

“You gonna be okay if I come back once you’re in?"

Bucky nodded again. “I’ll holler when I’m ready.”

“You do that. I’ll wait til then. If you change your mind, I won’t disturb you,” Steve said, and that reassured Bucky a little more. 

The door snicked shut behind Steve and Bucky wiped his hands down his face. “You certainly know how to fuck things up good, Barnes...Rogers, whoever the fuck you are now.”

Bucky slipped out of his clothes, a little shyly despite being alone, and carefully lowered himself into the hot water. “Mmmmmm,” he groaned at the feel of the water hitting his skin and soaking into his tired muscles.. 

The lavender smelled fantastic and he looked down to see the milky water had covered him well. He thought about it and decided he’d take a few minutes before calling out to Steve to come in. He needed to regroup a bit in his own mind.

Steve had not shown any reason for Bucky not to trust him. He was definitely cool about things and gentlemanly. Still Bucky had only met him this morning and the paranoid part of his mind worried that he could be an axe murderer waiting for Bucky to fall asleep, or better yet, be naked and slippery in a tub. 

It was amazing to Bucky what terrors he could create in his mind. He shook his head and called out. “Steve, I’m in if you wanna come back.”

The door opened so quickly, Steve must have been waiting right there. “How's the water? Is it helping?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Bucky said, sinking lower in the water, as if he’d never been shirtless on a run or in the gym. His shoulder wasn’t something he exposed a lot. It often drew looks and questions. 

“Here,” Steve said, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around Bucky’s shoulders, covering him a little. Then he sat on the floor a distance away, giving Bucky his space. His knees were bent and he rested his arms on them, hands clasped. He looked a little tense. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I feel so shy all of a sudden.” 

“Yes you do. Bucky, we might be married, but we don’t know each other much at all, just what we learned today. I just want you to know something…”

Steve hesitated and swallowed thickly before continuing. “I waited a long time to get married. I’ve considered myself married to my work for the last few years, only to make myself feel better. But now, man, when I saw you at the end of the aisle, walking toward me, I felt at peace for the first time in years. It was a meaningful moment for me. Do you know what I mean?   


Bucky nodded. 

“I feel like we connect, you and me. I don’t know why, but I do. I get the impression you are really nervous tonight and we’ll get to that in a sec, but Bucky...I will never hurt you or force you into anything you aren’t ready for. I mean that. I have no intention of having sex tonight.”

Bucky startled at the declaration. Steve was as direct as a bolt of lightning. Bucky felt his emotions rising. 

“If we had sex tonight, it would be no more than an awkward hookup. We don’t know each other enough to make it meaningful. I’ve done that in the past, hooked up, and it doesn’t suit me. I like to feel connected to a person before I have sex. I’m thinking maybe you haven’t had a lot of experience and so you are worried.”

Bucky wiped at his eyes. He was about to lose it. Married for less than twenty four hours and Steve had his finger on Bucky’s pulse already. 

“Buck?”

Steve using the shortened version of his name pushed Bucky over the edge. He shattered.

He took the ends of the towel around his shoulders and covered his face as he sobbed. 

“Awww, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just trying to make you feel better,”

Bucky’s breath hitched on every sob, it was so embarrassing, but he wanted Steve to know he understood.

“I’m n-not upset...j-just emotion-nal” 

“Oh, okay.”

“You’re s-so nice…” Bucky said and then blew out a huge breath, trying to get a hold of himself. 

Steve chuckled. “I kind of promised your mom I would be.”

Bucky wiped his eyes and lowered the towel. He blew out a few more breaths and then just pulled the bandaid off. “I c-cry easily, unfortunately. Always have. I t-tell my students there is n-no shame in crying.”

“I cry at every Disney movie, those damn dog shelter commercials, and sometimes after a hard case I cry alone in my car. You’re right, there is no shame in crying,” Steve admitted. 

“Come closer? Hold my hand?” Bucky asked. He needed the touch to ground himself. 

“Sure,” Steve answered as he scooted over to sit right next to the tub. He took Bucky’s flesh hand in his and squeezed it firmly. 

“I need to t-tell you some-” he never got the end out because he started to sob again. 

“It’s alright, just let it out for a while. I’m right here,” Steve said quietly, encasing Bucky’s hand in both of his. 

Bucky’s shoulders shook and he squeezed back, desperate to get his shit together. It took a few minutes and a lot of breathing, but finally he did it. He blurted it out before he lost himself again. 

“I’m a virgin.”

Steve’s eyes widened for a split second before he steeled his look. 

“I know I should have told you earlier, but holy fuck, I couldn’t even tell you my name.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, I get that. It’s alright, you told me now. Nothing wrong with that. I bet that was worrying you, now we both know. Nothing more to worry about.”

Bucky nodded, maybe even smiled a little.

“Can I ask you a question or two?”

“Yep.”

“Did you choose not to have sex on purpose?”

“Hell no! I just never found anyone I trusted enough. I dated a couple of schmucks in my day, no one I was giving access to me and no one I thought would be nice.”

“Did anything ever happen that made you avoid sex?”

“Jesus, why does everyone think that because you’re a virgin something awful happened to you? Nothing happened, and I bet you’re gonna ask if I think I like sex, if I might be asexual? Fuck no, I get off all the time, just alone.”

Steve turned beet red, so Bucky must have been right. 

“Well, Bucky, I don’t think I’ve blushed this much in a long time. Thanks.”

“Sure, anytime.”

“So, you’re a virgin and I like sex when I know someone well enough. So no sex for us for a bit. I would like to kiss you, hug you, and hold hands. How do you feel about that? I’m kind of an affectionate person. If you’re not ready, I get it.”

“I think that would help me a lot,” Bucky nodded. He was feeling much lighter after his bathtub confession. 

“Good, let’s start there. You ready to get out? I’ll leave if you promise not to get injured.”

“Get out of here, I’ll be fine,” Bucky teasingly kicked Steve out of the room.

Steve left and Bucky got out of the tub, dried off, and got dressed. He drained the tub and folded his towel on the rack. He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob. Steve was waiting in the bedroom, across the room as if wanting Bucky to have the space. 

Bucky had forgotten about his hair being put up so intricately. He needed to get it down before he went to bed. 

“Hey, Steve, do you think you could help me get my hair undone? I think there are pins and everything.”

“Sure, I’d be happy to,” Steve’s smile let Bucky know he was pleased to have been asked. 

Bucky felt like he needed to break the tension of the bathroom incident, so he teased Steve. “I’ll sit on the bed if you promise to keep your hands to yourself.”

“Oh is that how it’s gonna be?” Steve jabbed back.

Bucky smiled, took a deep breath, and climbed on the bed. Steve approached him from the opposite side of the bed, crawling on his knees, til he was right behind Bucky. 

“How do I do this?”

“Just start taking things out and hand me the pins.”

Steve worked in silence for a few minutes, pulling out bobby pins and undoing the braids, before he said, “This looked really nice, the bun, the little braids woven in and out. Your hair is great, It’s one of the things that drew me to you from a distance. Then I saw those eyes.”

“Your beard. That’s what got me. It’s so soft looking. Not gonna lie, your build is very up my alley as well.”

“Well, my build won’t be up your alley just yet, but maybe eventually. There, all done.”

Bucky laughed loudly at Steve’s pun and ran his hands through his hair, taming it. “Touche, Mr. Rogers.”

“I thought you’d like that.”

Bucky turned to face Steve and looked into his eyes, finding nothing but mirth. 

“Hey Steve?”

“Yeah…”

“Thank you...for everything.”

“Can I kiss you, husband?” Steve asked.

“Yes, you can, husband.”

Steve took Bucky’s hands and placed them on his face. Bucky stroked the soft, luxurious beard, he had admired from afar. Steve leaned in and kissed him. It was warm and chaste. No tongue, but Steve lingered and Bucky finally knew what it felt like to kiss that same beard. It felt comforting and toasty, brushing against his own scruffiness. It was all he wanted and more...for now. 

They climbed off the bed, brushed their teeth and then stood facing the bed once again. 

“I can sleep on the sofa, I don’t mind,” Steve offered. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“We are grown ass adults, Steve. We’ve discussed our situation and made boundaries. We’re married for Christ’s sake. What side do you want”

“I think I just got your teacher voice. I like it,” Steve smiled and crawled over to the other side. They slid under the covers and faced each other, some space in between them. Bucky had only one more thing to tell Steve and he needed to do it now before it festered. 

“I need to tell you one more thing, if that’s okay,” Bucky said softly.

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Have you ever thought about having a family? I mean I know it’s early, but if we’re gonna stay together after the eight weeks, I just have to say a family is a dealbreaker for me.”   


Steve smiled and reached across the space to stroke at Bucky’s cheek. “I’m glad, because it is for me, too. I mean we’ll have to decide a way to do that, but I do want a family. I’m not gonna lie to you, my deal breaker was children of my own, it’s the only thing I’m really confused about with our being matched. I mean I can work through it after meeting you...” 

“Steve...I’m a carrier. We can make a family together.”

“Really?” Steve asked and Bucky watched emotion flood his sweet new husband’s face, those kind eyes brimming. Bucky closed the space and held Steve close as he fought tears.

“I hope this means you’re okay with that.” Bucky said tentatively.

“It does...I’m thrilled, Bucky. God, some day there will be little versions of us running around,” He motioned and made the sound of his mind being blown. Bucky laughed. 

“I think Pepper, Tony, and Nick just might know what they’re doing,” Bucky said. “I think we’re gonna be alright.”

“I know we are, Bucky. I know we are.”

Two very exhausted and very happy Mr. Rogers fell asleep... in each other’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you liked this and our soft boys. DO NOT WORRY, we will get some fun times, soon...


	7. Have Spouse, Will Travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve embark on their honeymoon with the other couples. Of course it is a trip not without complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I am finally back! I am sorry I was gone so long. Lost my muse for a bit, but I am back with a slightly longer chapter and a returned focus. 
> 
> I should mention here that I am a hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort freak. I live for the soft moments. Maybe it's because I am older, who knows. Anyway, I take some truth liberties in this chapter. I did a little research but also made up a lot of shit to make my story work. Not a big change for me, LOL. 
> 
> We meet the other couples and I give them names, but they are minor characters that I use just to cause grief once in a while.
> 
> Also, you can assume that since they agreed to be on this tv show, that they are always being filmed unless I specify they are not. So footage galore is taken.

Bucky woke early, his body’s clock used to getting up for school despite the need for sleep after the excitement and stress of getting married. A weight across his waist and a tickling at the back of his neck unnerved him at first, a new experience for sure. Bucky had never woken in someone’s arms before. He kind of loved it and let himself relax into it, to enjoy it with a soft sigh. Then he felt something else he’d never felt before as Steve stirred, pulling him closer... something hard pressed against his ass. 

Bucky stiffened. It wasn’t like Bucky didn’t wake hard himself every morning. It wasn't necessarily sexy, it just happened. He didn’t want to appear fearful or risk waking Steve by pulling away... and it wasn’t like he didn’t find Steve all kinds of hot, but there were things he definitely wasn’t ready for... _yet_ . Slowly he inched his hips away and then worked his way out of Steve’s cocoon of warmth. Once free, he turned over and looked at the man who’d been holding, no _snuggling,_ him. His husband. 

Steve was as handsome as he was kind. Bucky had barely been able to cope with his late night confessions, and getting to actual bed with Steve, that he never really let himself check out his own husband. He felt a little peepy, but he took this opportunity to get an eyeful of the absolute hunk he was married to. It was almost unbelievable if Bucky wasn’t actually sure it was true. 

To say Steve was in great shape was the understatement of the century. His shoulders and chest were broad and his arms were massive. Bucky lifted weights to keep in balance with his prosthetic and he could bench a respectable 200, but he bet Steve could do reps with 250 and probably push 300 off his chest without much more effort. His fucking t-shirt was at least a size too small, clinging to every evocative curve on his upper body. 

He looked so peaceful sleeping, features soft, not drawn tight with concern as they were last night when he seemed so worried about Bucky’s feelings. Bucky would never get over how understanding Steve had been, how accommodating. Nor would he get over that soft, luscious beard. Christ, even his eyelashes grew in thickly, like angelic wings, laying closed against his cheeks. He stirred, as if he realized he was being admired.

His eyes fluttered open, looking right into Bucky’s. His mouth broke into a crooked smile that Bucky could not help but return. 

“Mornin’ Buck.”

“Morning, Steve.”

“You feeling okay this morning?” Steve asked as he reached out to move a piece of hair that had fallen in front of Bucky’s eyes. Bucky flinched at first. He hated his initial reaction, but at least he had relaxed into the touch after.

“Sorry, wasn’t trying to startle you.”

“No, it’s fine. I just have to get used to waking up with someone next to me in bed,” Bucky responded, feeling guilty.

“You could come closer, I don’t bite,” Steve offered. His eyes looked so hopeful.

“I was closer, but things being like they are in the morning…” Bucky let it hang there for Steve to absorb. He seemed to understand, at least his eyebrows raised in an indicative way.

“Oh, yeah...that’s...well that’s just how it goes, right?. You know you’re safe with me. We’ve set the parameters.”

Bucky nodded back his understanding.

“Okay, well, I’m pretty tactile, so let me know if it’s too much. Right now, I’ve got to take a piss and I’m starving.

“Me too,” Bucky agreed. 

“Mr. Rogers, Steve announced with a teasing air of formality, “I’m gonna to kiss you good morning despite our morning breath and morning wood. Then I’m going to get up and go to the bathroom. I’m not gonna hide my natural state. I was never known for being bashful. Is that okay with you?”

Bucky nodded again and laughed. “I think not making a big deal of it is the best plan.”

“Good, incoming kiss,” Steve announced as he leaned in and pressed his lips firmly to Bucky’s mouth. He half hoped Bucky would open his mouth, welcoming a deeper kiss, but at least he didn’t back away. Steve slid his arm around to Bucky’s back and spread his palm wide between his shoulder blades, then scritch scratched playfully at Bucky’s shirt, before letting go, rolling over and standing. He stretched like a cat arms straight over his head, his back to Bucky. 

The rippling of his husband’s back through his t-shirt and his incredible round ass did things to Bucky... wonderful, terrible things. Bucky watched as Steve padded around the bed. He was indeed hard and was hanging on to his bobbing dick through his boxers, shamelessly, as he made his way to the bathroom, clearly comfortable in his own skin. 

Bucky would just have to get used to this view. It was his new life...a criminal, awful, hardship to bear. Poor me, he thought with a smirk, as the door closed and he took the opportunity to stretch in bed, ignoring his own issues. 

The door opened, but Steve just stuck his head out. “You need the head or can I shower quick as long as I’m in here?”

“Nope, I’m fine for now, go for it,” Bucky replied, absolutely not thinking of Steve in the shower with nothing but the door separating them. 

“Thanks, I’ll be quick, then we can eat.”

Bucky got up when he heard the shower running and found clothes to wear after he showered himself, jeans and a lightweight sweater, April could still be chilly in Boston. He dug out boxers and socks as well, setting them on the end of the bed before adjusting the covers to make the room feel neater. 

The water turned off and not two minutes later, Steve popped out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel, hair tousled like he’d towel dried it but not combed it. He hung on to the two corners of the miniscule towel as he dug through his suitcase, but unceremoniously dropped it to the floor, revealing truly the most glorious ass Bucky had ever set his eyes on in his life. He tore those eyes away from the David like sculpting and charged to the bathroom.

“Jumping in the shower,” he declared, too loudly if he was correct. He turned just back just in time to see Steve yank his boxers up over all that glorious ass and flash Bucky a smile.

“Perfect, then I’ll comb my hair and we can get some food. I’m-”

“Starving! I know, I heard you the first two times,” Bucky said as he closed the door. Jesus, he felt like such a moron. He hoped Steve didn’t think he was being critical. Enter the real Bucky, the overthinker, the second guesser.

Locking the door, Bucky started the shower and stripped out of his clothes. He looked at himself in the mirror. Steve was chiseled, but Bucky wasn’t half bad if you could get past the scars around his shoulder. He worked out and ate well, he could hold his own against Steve. That thought helped him relax a little and he stepped into the water with a little more confidence. They were in a place fancy enough that there was shampoo and conditioner and body wash on a little shelf. Bucky enjoyed the hot water and scrubbed himself well. He was beginning to feel as hungry as Steve claimed to be. 

****

Bucky emerged from the bathroom fully dressed. Steve chalked it up to shyness. He could handle shy if it came in the package of one Bucky Barnes, now Bucky Rogers. He was only an inch or two shorter than Steve, and stocky, toned all over as far as Steve could tell. He had a great ass in the jeans he was wearing. More than that, Steve sensed Bucky was the kind of person he might have chosen himself, if he’d had the opportunity. 

The only reservation he had was about Bucky’s sexual experience. He could understand him being bisexual and yet not having experienced sex with a guy...anal sex did require more planning, etc, but it was Bucky’s overall shyness about sex that was concerning.

Steve certainly did not expect to jump into bed and get laid the first day he met his spouse, he wasn’t an animal, but after last night, he knew their sexual relationship would take more time to develop. He just hoped that after more exploration, he’d find out that Bucky had more interactions than they had discussed. Steve simply didn’t know any other twenty eight year olds who had not at least gotten off with a partner, fucking aside. Either way, it did not mean he would be any less glad it had been Bucky he saw when those doors opened.

Steve could wait, it wasn’t that. He could…and Bucky was at least okay with Steve’s playful affections. Steve could be happy with hugs and kisses, touches and hand holding...for now. His hope was Bucky just needed time to adjust and for them to get to know one another. 

Bucky startled him out of his thoughts.

“Steve?” 

He shook his head, “Yeah, sorry, Bucky. What did you say?”

“I was asking if you wanna go eat now?”

“Sure, yeah, just let me comb my hair.”

Steve emerged from the bathroom like he was ready for a magazine cover, his hair and beard, perfectly groomed. He wore a pair of jeans and a nice, tight, grey henley. He tucked his wallet and his phone in his pockets and they each grabbed a key card before heading down to the hotel restaurant. 

They stood close but not touching in the elevator. 

“Might meet the other couples today, huh?” Bucky said, making small talk. 

“I’d think so,” Steve answered. “Not to mention we have our next interviews this morning.”

“Jesus, I hate the interviews...they are always trying to make good tv out of nothing with their questions,” Bucky added. He looked a little annoyed but also nervous as he spoke.

Steve wasn’t going to spill the beans to anybody. What happened last night in the bathroom was their business. Bathrooms were off limits for cameras. No one needed to know the details as far as Steve was concerned. 

“I’m planning on being as tight lipped as possible, Bucky, alright?”

Bucky seemed to sigh a bit, trying to look like he hadn't been worried. “Good, me too. They have enough footage to twist around. What we talk about in private is ours.”

The elevator doors opened with a ding as he finished talking and Steve grabbed his metal hand with a firm grip and said, “Damn right, now let's hope they have lots of food,-”

“You’re starving,” Bucky interrupted and they both laughed. He returned the tight squeeze Steve gave his hand, as they walked through the dining room to find the three other couples. 

Six sets of eyes gave them the once over as they approached the long table, at least they had been afforded a private room off the dining area. A massive brunch buffet alleviated some of the discomfort, though they still had to meet the others.

A loud mouthed red head called out to them as they approached the table. “Well, looky who finally crawled out of bed!”

Bucky rolled his eyes at her as the others looked on curiously. Steve muttered under his breath, “Jesus…”

“Hey, I’m Elizabeth,” she stated loudly. “This is my new husband Jamie Ott. We wondered who the final couple was gonna be. We thought it might be two guys, but wow...I remember you both from the workshops. I didn’t figure they’d put you two together. Talk about a power couple.”

Bucky wanted to turn around and walk out, but instead he introduced them proudly. He _was_ proud. “I’m Bucky, this is _my_ husband Steve. We’re the Rogers.” He may or may not have smiled from ear to ear introducing Steve as his husband. He felt a flush rush through him and he glanced to see Steve smiling himself. He looked to the next couple at the table. 

“We’re the Gutierrez-Van Arlingtons, I’m Regina, call me Gina and this is my wife Valerie. It’s nice to meet you both.”

“Thank you, you, too,” Steve answered. 

The final couple stood and the husband introduced them rather formally. “Hello. We’re Michael and Shonda DuPont. Very nice to meet you.”

Bucky shook both their hands and then Steve did as well. No one seemed incredibly weird or off putting other than the loud redhead. Bucky heard Steve talking as he continued to scope the couples out. 

“Bucky, come on. Food’s over here,” Steve said with a guiding hand to the small of Bucky’s back. They filled their plates with thick slabs of french toast, bacon, eggs, and all sorts of guilty pleasures from the buffet. 

“I don’t normally eat this much for breakfast, but hey, we got married, right?” Bucky said with a laugh.

Steve chuckled back and he raised his eyebrows at his own plate piled with selections. “Absolutely, live it up, we’re celebrating and I plan to enjoy every bite.”

They sat at two of the open seats at the table and a waiter came and offered them mimosas before asking if they wanted anything else. 

“Ooooh, champagne in the morning,” Bucky commented as he took a sip. 

Steve accepted a mimosa as well but added, “I need coffee. How about you, Buck?”

“Coffee for sure,” Bucky answered, tickled that Steve had already given him a shortened version of his nickname. The two ate quietly for a few minutes before the other couples began to include them in the conversation. Red head led the way.

“So did you guys get it on last night?”

Steve nearly choked on the bite of food in his mouth. Bucky stopped chewing and just stared at her. They were not going to get along at all. 

Steve stepped in and said, “Not your business, thank you.”

Her husband Jaime drained his champagne flute and chided her, “See, I told you people don’t like being asked that question.”

“Shut up, Jaime. You’re not the boss of me,” Elizabeth grumped. Bucky discreetly reached under the table and squeezed Steve’s knee hoping to convey his horror in the scene before them. 

Elizabeth was clearly tipsy before nine in the morning and before she had to go on camera. Maybe that was the plan of the producers and he figured Steve got the same idea when he drank his coffee and left the bubbly flute alone. Bucky sensed he and Steve on the same page and was grateful. He could not imagine telling Steve to shut up in front of people they were meeting for the first time. 

The other two couples seemed nice enough. The two ladies with the long hyphenated name (thank God Bucky had the sense not to do that to himself) appeared rather close with touches and low whispers. The DuPont’s looked a bit more formal, like conservative professionals. Definitely posh Bucky decided. He was glad he ended up with Steve. That feeling grew more and more with each passing minute. Sitting next to Steve, knowing they were married, was quickly becoming a welcome comfort. 

*****

“So Steve, how do you feel about being married to James?” Pepper asked. There was always a gentleness about her voice that put Steve in a place of openness. He found himself almost unable to not answer her. It helped because the cameras were very off putting.

“Bucky, actually. His friends and family call him Bucky. And it’s great. _He’s_ great. I’m not gonna lie, I saw Bucky early in the process and felt a physical attraction, so I was pretty happy to see him as the person you guys chose for me.” Steve could feel himself relax as he talked about Bucky. Even the mention of him put Steve at ease, a realization that made warmth spread through him. “I mean, I know it hasn’t even been twenty four hours, but I think we’re going yo get along fine.” 

He also realized that Pepper was asking him something and he had been wrapped up in thoughts of Bucky, his hair, his blue eyes, his sweetness… “Oh sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if James, Bucky rather, being a virgin bothered you?”

Steve had promised Bucky he would not delve into too much personal stuff, so he chose his words carefully. “Bothers me? No, it doesn’t bother me. I mean, it changes how we approach our physical relationship, but not it’s not a concern, or a negative.”

“So from your statement, I can assume you two were not intimate last night?” she phrased her statement as nearly a question. 

Steve knew it was coming and he didn’t want to kiss and tell or not kiss and tell. He felt his forehead wrinkle with the effort of his thoughts and how to best answer without giving too much away. Being a homicide detective did come in handy sometimes. Questions were his normal game. Before he answered, he thought of Bucky and how last night had helped them start to get to know each other. 

“You know as well as I do, Dr. Potts, that intimacy comes in many forms. Bucky and I agreed to keep our bedroom doors closed. Having said that, Bucky and I are getting to know each other in an appropriate manner for us. I’ll leave it there.”

“Nicely put, Steve. I did see some footage that showed you handling things well together. I am happy for you both. I hope that you continue to take care of each other emotionally as well as physically. I have high hopes for your relationship to last a lifetime.” 

“Well, thank you. I intend to do my part and I appreciate you matching us. We seem really well suited and I feel an attachment already.”

When the cameras were off Pepper spoke with Steve further. “Last night you were wonderful to him, Steve. He’s nervous for sure. Sometimes people put so much emphasis on intimacy being the actual act of sexual intercourse that they build it up as this giant end goal and it can become frightening. I think that, combined with the fact that Bucky is a carrier, has been a factor in his sexual journey. Keep doing what you did last night and it will put James at ease in regard to your physical intimacy. He’s very lucky to have you, your attitude is just what he needs.”

“Oh, I think you’re mistaken, Dr. Potts. I’m the lucky one in this relationship,” Steve answered. Then with a smirk, he added, “Are we done here? I need to pack for my honeymoon.”

Pepper laughed and said, “I hope you have a wonderful two weeks together. We’ll be there for the interviews and in case you need us.”

*****

Bucky sat across from Tony Stark as they mic’d them up for the interview. He could feel the sweat on his palms already. Tony winked at him and then they were ready.

“So, how are you now that you are a married man?” Tony asked with a wry smile.

“I’m good. Things are good. Steve is good,” Bucky cringed as he heard his own answer. 

Tony’s eyebrows lifted. “I see. Are you happy with the choice we made on your behalf?”

Bucky chuckled at the question. What did Tony think he would say? _No, can I get a do over?_ First of all, Steve was a God, second of all, it was legal and done. 

“That’s a lot of thinking there, Mr. Rogers…”

Bucky felt himself switch into teacher mode to get through the interview and he satisfied the question. “I have to say that I’m not mad at being married to Steve, so far. He’s a decent guy and I think we already connect. We do actually have a lot in common.”

“I brought you guys up at the discussions. I think you are well suited. Did you tell him you were a virgin and did you do anything about that last night?” 

Tony’s statement and question were quite forthright. Bucky felt himself begin to sweat and he flushed with embarrassment. God, he felt like he must look beet red or pale and clammy, he wasn’t even sure which was worse. He willed his tongue to function long enough to answer. It felt dry and too large for his mouth. 

“Steve and I are on the same page about our privacy and our emerging relationship. We are doing fine, getting to know each other. We just met yesterday for Christ’s sake.”

Tony waited for the cameras to stop and then he spoke plainly to Bucky. “Listen, all kidding aside, we’re all in your corner. Please call us if you need help or advice. You two have such potential to make it. This goes way past TV ratings. You might struggle with the physical a little. We watched the footage from last night. I think telling Steve more about yourself was the hardest hurdle for you, _Bucky_.”

Bucky found himself a bit emotional, but then when didn’t he lately. He did get the sense that Tony was speaking sincerely for the team, despite teasing him about telling Steve his nickname. It was clear they were being followed closely.

He swallowed thickly before answering, “I was so fucking nervous. Steve was so good about it. I was afraid I would be terrified all night next to a stranger in bed. Being a teacher, I like to run things...it’s hard for me to not be in charge of my whole day. He put me at ease and he seems very kind...gentle...I mean he’s over six foot and you’ve seen how built he is. Plus he’s a damn homicide detective...and yet I get the sense that he’s kind of a giant teddy bear, you know?”

“I do, Bucky. I understand. I think you two are on the road to being very good to and for each other in the long run. Keep communicating. Keep talking to him. That’s what will make this work. That’s the honest truth.”

Bucky nodded. He liked Tony more each time they spoke. 

“You better run, aren’t they ‘surprising’ you with honeymoon destination baskets today?”

“Ha, yeah they are. “I wonder where they will send us?” Bucky mocked curiosity. They had been required to complete all the proper paperwork and a shit load of vaccinations for the trip to somewhere tropical right after they had been told they were chosen. He figured they were going somewhere in the Caribbean. He didn’t care where as long as the sun was shining. “See you, Tony...and thanks for, well, for all of this. I’m grateful for the chance to get to know Steve. I really feel like we can make it work.”

“I know you can, Bucky. Remember, keep talking.”

“Got it Doc,” Bucky said as he walked out of the interview room. 

He was surprised to spot Steve sitting on a bench in the lobby. He walked over as Steve scrolled on his phone. As he approached, Steve looked up with a bright smile and stood to meet him. 

“You didn’t have to wait for me,” Bucky said, though what he really meant was I am thrilled you waited for me, as Steve wrapped an arm around his waist, pulled Bucky close and placed a sweet kiss on his heated cheek.

“Hey handsome, I didn’t mind waiting,” Steve reassured him. Bucky looped his arm awkwardly around Steve’s waist and they walked back towards their room. “We’ll be just in time to get our honeymoon location. Be sure to look surprised for the camera.”

They laughed together as they made their way down the hall. Bucky could hardly believe the change twenty four hours had brought to his life. It felt strange at times, holding hands, walking arm in arm with essentially a stranger...but it was what had been missing in his life. Closeness, intimacy with a partner was what Bucky had longed for, what caused him to feel jealous of his friends. Steve had been generous and kind with Bucky, and he could work through newness of the affections with Steve. It was a win-win situation for them both. 

*****

Steve and Bucky were repacking their suitcases for their honeymoon trip to Antigua. They had gotten their destination basket when they had gotten back to their room. They were pleased with the specific location. They were staying at the Pineapple Beach Club. They looked through the brochures at the club and were psyched to find it was all inclusive. They would only need shopping and tip money.

“We’ll be responsible for our own shopping, but I’ll bring cash for tipping the staff. They have a safe in the room and we can keep it there. That sound alright with you?” Steve asked.

“Sure, but I can help with the tips, too,” Bucky offered, concerned Steve felt he didn’t have the ability to pay his way. “I mean, I work, I have income to contribute.”

“Oh, I wasn’t implying that at all. Of course you can. I just know that you are still paying rent and utilities and I didn’t know how much you planned to spend. I'd just feel better knowing I had the money for tips. People work hard in the service industry and I feel better tipping well."

Bucky ticked off one more box in his list of pros based on how Steve viewed people in what could sometimes be seen as a subservient role. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“Then if it’s okay with you, I’d like to handle that for both of us.” Steve’s eyes had a way of pleading with Bucky that let him know he really meant what he was asking. 

“Alright, Steve, if you insist,” Bucky said with a smile. Steve looked like he’d let out a breath he’d been holding. There were so many little things to learn about each other. 

Assistants showed up with clothing racks one for Steve and one for Bucky. There were rules and regulations about apparel at the Pineapple Beach Club and they were walked through those requirements as well as the dress codes for filming in general. 

Bucky had done some online shopping with Becca and Nat. He had plenty of swim trunks and t shirts. The girls had insisted on purchasing some nicer tailored shorts in various colors, plus some short sleeved shirts with collars and at least two linen type jackets and dress pants. The assistant working with him seemed fine with his wardrobe, but they chose a few more things just to be sure he had plenty of options. 

Steve looked to be pretty well set, too, but he had tried on a few lightweight shirts. Later he confided to Bucky. “I had dressy clothes and then lots of shorts and t-shirts. They set me up with some linen stuff, they said I would appreciate them in the heat. I’m either in a suit or jeans and a t-shirt, some sweaters in the winter. I’m not much of a clothes horse.”

Bucky empathized. “Same here. I had help from some nosey friends and family, otherwise I would have had nothing but basketball shorts and sleeveless tees myself.”

They finished packing, locking their suitcases as instructed. They were a little shocked when they were informed that their flight left that night. They would arrive in Antigua in the early morning. They made last minute calls to their families to say goodbye. Steve noticed that Bucky was quiet after speaking to his family and made small talk to distract him. 

“You all set with your carry on? Got everything you need for the trip?” Steve asked, trying to sound casual. 

Bucky nodded his response and pulled his passport and the envelope of papers about his prosthetic from the main compartment of his black backpack. His intention was to put them in the smaller outer pocket. He decided to include Steve in on his concerns about getting through airport security. 

“Yeah, I’m set, I think.” He paused before continuing and Steve was rifling through his own small hard case carry on with wheels. Bucky felt almost silly with a backpack, but it fit his laptop and extra clothes in case they lost his luggage. “I haven’t travelled since my military time and never commercially for my arm. I’m not sure how it’s going to go with security.”

“Oh, I never even thought about that, it’s just part of you to me, so I didn’t…” Steve’s comments died off, and Bucky thought it was because Steve thought he stepped in it. He hadn’t.

“I get that about you. I like that it’s not a big deal to you. I mean it _seems_ like it’s not a big deal to you, but airport security guys are probably waiting for someone like me to light up their metal detectors, you know?”

Steve stopped working through his bag and turned to face him. “Bucky, it’s definitely not an issue for me, I want to be sure you know that, but I get you’re worried about security. What can I do to help with that? I haven’t flown in forever. I’m not even sure what to expect except that we have to take off our jackets, shoes and step through a screening machine.”

“The producers talked to me about it in the very beginning and had me get documents certifying my arm because it’s military grade. It’s pretty high tech, so it’s gonna set off lots of bells and whistles I think. I’ll probably get pulled aside and searched, but I think it will be okay.”

“I’ll stick as close as possible, unless you want privacy, I mean you might not want-” Bucky watched as a flood of emotions washed over Steve’s face, starting with what he thought was protective concern and ended with the horror of thinking he had overstepped. 

Bucky wanted to ask for a hug. He didn’t. He wanted it for both of them. For his own fears and for Steve’s misplaced regret at his offer. He shuffled back and forth nervously in place and said, “No, I mean I was going to ask you to be my back up, if it’s not too much? I should be honest and tell you that I have panic attacks every once in a while. I’m a little worried this might trigger one, just because of the unknown.”

Steve smiled at him, his eyes expressing such warmth at Bucky’s admission. “Well, I can relate to you there. I get them myself sometimes. I had a therapist after my time in the special forces and that helped a lot, but I understand completely about the unknown causing stress. I totally got your six on this.”

Bucky nodded and they continued with their bags. He wished he’d asked for the hug, but the moment had passed. Too bad his need for one had not.

*****

The airport was crowded, but then Bucky remembered it was Sunday at the beginning of the spring break season. They had travelled in a van together, all four couples, and now the producers were with them as they all checked bags and got boarding passes. Steve’s hand on the small of his back as they checked in as a couple was a welcome warmth. They grinned at each other when the agent working the ticket counter said there was a problem and they were all being upgraded to first class for the entire trip. 

“We are going on our honeymoon,” Bucky said gleefully, letting the excitement of a two week trip to the Caribbean sink in. “I cannot wait to lay out on the beach and soak up the sun.” 

“Congratulations and have a great trip,” the agent stated. 

Bucky felt Steve grab his right hand as they walked toward the waiting group and headed for security. As instructed, they had their passports and boarding passes ready. Bucky also had out his papers for his prosthetic arm. They chatted and moved through the maze of security at a decent pace. When they got to the front of the line, Steve and Bucky got split up. 

“No, we’re together,” Steve explained. “I want to go with him.” 

The TSA agent spoke monotonously. “Please proceed to your instructed line for security. You can meet with your party on the other side of the check in point.”

“Listen, I get that there are procedures, but my husband and I need to go through the same line. Can you just do that much, please?” Steve’s tone was pleasant but urgent and Bucky was once again glad to see how Steve handled people, even under duress. 

“Sorry, no exceptions, please head to agent four, sir. You’re holding up the process.”

Steve looked to Bucky before moving. Bucky tried to nod reassurance that he would be okay, however false it was. Bucky got directed to line one, of course it was the farthest from Steve. To his credit, Steve’s eyes never left Bucky’s for long, searching back to find him each time he had to move forward. 

Bucky got to the agent checking IDs and handed him his paperwork. Cleared, he headed to the conveyor belt and put his backpack in a bucket before he removed his sneakers and grey zippered hoodie, placing them in a bucket as well. Removing his jacket, he glanced down to see the script letters spelling out _husband_ on his heather grey t-shirt. 

All the couples had been given the matching shirts with the appropriate sentiment, Bucky had taken one look at Steve’s face after they got theirs and agreed to wear them on the plane. Steve wore his with an open flannel shirt and Bucky had thrown on his favorite grey hoodie. The DuPonts had worn theirs as well, though they were light blue. He waited for his turn to go through the scanner. 

Once he was instructed to stand on the foot prints and raise his arms over his head, he knew he was in for an extended experience. He looked around for a friendly face, for Steve’s face, but found none. Then he heard the sound he dreaded...he’d set off the metal detectors. 

*****

Steve didn’t quite believe Bucky’s nod as he walked away towards his place in line, but he had tried and did not want to make a scene. He figured that would only add to Bucky’s anxiety level. So Steve caved and followed the directions of the airport staff, trying to keep his connection to Bucky by making eye contact at every possible moment. He was looking up from placing all his belongings on the belt for the x-ray machine when he heard the sound he dreaded. 

He watched in horror, from what was a hopeless distance, as Bucky was pulled aside and body scanned with what appeared to be a wand of sorts. Steve was jerked into his own situation by the TSA agent barking at him to enter the scanner and to follow the picture guides. He did so and made it through. Before looking for his belongings, he searched across the room for Bucky and found him. 

“Shit,” he said aloud as he watched, powerless to get to his husband, as two agents walked Bucky through a door. Steve scrambled as the door shut and Bucky was gone. 

He carried his sneakers and flannel, wheeling his carryon, as he made a beeline for the area Bucky was taken. He saw the producers talking with more agents as he approached.

“Where did they take him?” Steve demanded. He forced himself into detective mode so he could suppress his emotions. He needed to tamp down the feeling of failing Bucky if he was to find out what was currently happening to the man who was the reason he was wearing a t-shirt that read husband. 

“He’s been taken to security for his own privacy. We needed a better look at his prosthetic device,” a man who appeared to be a supervisor if Steve read his cheap navy blazer correctly. 

“His _arm_. It’s his arm, not a device.” Steve corrected gruffly. “Take me to him.”

“We can’t do that, he’ll be done soon. You can wait here.” 

Steve looked to the producers. “Please tell me you’ve thought this through and have a plan.”

“With all due respect, Steve. It’s a TSA screening. Put your shoes on and by the time you’ve got yourself together, he’ll be done,” the producer attempted to pacify Steve.

Steve got very close and said sternly. “He was nervous and I promised to stay with him. Don’t patronize me. He has anxiety and if he has a panic attack, there is no one to help him.”

Steve did, however, see the need for putting his shoes on and getting organized, to be ready in case Bucky needed him. He did just that and then paced as the minutes ticked away. The longer they waited, the more agitated he became. He barked at anyone who came within earshot he thought could get him information or get him to Bucky. He even pulled out his detective badge. All to no avail. 

When they hit the thirty minute mark, he was demanding a supervisor. “Then get me someone who _can_ answer my questions.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement at the door where Bucky had disappeared. Steve turned his full attention just as Bucky emerged looking rumpled, his grey hoodie hanging unbalanced from his torso. He was carrying something. It took a minute for it to register with Steve that Bucky was carrying his own arm. 

Steve rushed forward, calling out and waving. “Bucky!” 

Bucky’s shoulders slumped in relief the second their eyes met. Steve was stopped by agents from crossing through a half gate to meet Bucky, so he continued to pace, his eyes never leaving Bucky, eager to have contact again as Bucky made his way to Steve. The accompanying agents seemed to conclude their conversation and Bucky cleared the gate and stepped directly into Steve’s arms, nestling his face in Steve’s neck, inhaling deeply.

Steve pulled him close, a little stunned by Bucky’s immediate reaction, yet relief filling every cell in his being. “Bucky, I’m so sorry, are you alright? What happened?”

Bucky whispered into Steve’s ear, ‘Get me to a bathroom.”

“Buck, you okay? Feeling sick?”

“Bathroom,” he repeated. “No cameras.” Shit, Bucky needed Steve to get him somewhere the cameras could not follow. Steve attempted to take Bucky’s prosthetic from him to carry it, but Bucky gripped it even tighter to his chest. “Please,” Bucky ground out through his teeth.

Steve went into protective mode and scooped an arm around Bucky as he pivoted, looking for the nearest bathroom. He spotted a sign and guided Bucky gently but quickly, leaving everyone to wonder what was going on. When the producers tried to follow, Bucky firmly objected.

“Bathrooms are off limits, even public ones, it’s in the contracts,” he defended himself. Steve felt a sense of both pride that Bucky stood up for himself and horror that he needed to because Steve had failed to do so for him. 

Steve whirled around and added, “Everyone out. Let him collect himself.” He turned back to Bucky whose chest was heaving, and asked, “What do you need?”

“You know box breathing?” Bucky gasped, still clutching his detached arm to his chest. 

“Far too familiar, come here and let me guide your breaths, okay?”

“Don’t cage me in, Steve,” Bucky’s body stiffened briefly, then sagged under the weight of his labored breathing. 

“Never, I get it,” Steve promised with his hands held up palms out, a sign of meaning no harm. He knew exactly what Bucky feared, Steve had feared the same things himself. 

Steve eased behind Bucky and pulled his back flush with Steve’s chest. He moved so his own back was against the wall and Bucky could clearly see the entrance. “Here we go, Buck. We’ll do a box of four, ‘kay? In 2,3,4, hold 2,3,4, out 2,3,4, hold 2,3,4, in 2,3,4…” 

Bucky seemed to relax after the first few rounds of breathing. He matched his breaths to Steve’s pretty readily and soon he was pliant and rid of the breathlessness he was struggling through. Steve began to feel Bucky pull away so he released his hold and Bucky turned in and gave Steve a one armed hug. Steve held him as tightly as he dared without making him feel trapped. 

“I am so sorry, Bucky. I lost track of you and they wouldn’t let me come to you. Are you alright?”

Bucky sighed against him and Steve rubbed his back. “I’m fine...now.”

Steve huffed and Bucky responded. “Really, I’m fine. They were only doing their jobs. They needed to make sure I wasn’t a risk or something, I get that. Mostly, I’m just uncomfortable because I need you to help me get my arm back on.”

That nearly killed Steve. He didn’t ever want Bucky to be uncomfortable around him, but his arm, something he could not possibly do on his own... Steve knew they were essentially still strangers and something so intimate as helping Bucky with his prosthetic should happen slowly, over time, and not because airport clearance had forced them into the situation. 

“Hey, you don’t have to be worried about that. I’m glad to help you. I hope you know that.”

“I do...it’s not that you wouldn’t. It’s that I wish you didn’t have to,” Bucky admitted softly. 

He handed Steve his arm and outlined the steps of reattaching it to his shoulder socket. Steve nodded and without another word, Bucky took off his backpack and set it on the ground. He took off his grey hoodie and his husband t-shirt, revealing his shoulder and the scars around it. 

Steve took Bucky’s arm gingerly and held it with the respect it deserved while Bucky got ready to have it returned to its rightful place. It was strange to have it so lifeless in his hands now when he had held it so many times as a functioning part since meeting Bucky a mere twenty four hours ago. 

Supporting the weight of the limb while Bucky manipulated the connecting parts, Steve smiled encouragingly and followed the directions he was given. He could not help but notice the thick, heavy, pink scars that edged the implanted socket on Bucky’s shoulder. It was not long before he heard a heavy click and a series of mechanical clicks and whirs. 

“Okay, that’s in, now step back while I reboot it,” Bucky instructed. When Steve had moved back, Bucky held his shoulder, pressing under his armpit and moved his arm in a full circular motion from the shoulder joint.” 

After another series of the same clicks and whirs, Bucky’s arm sprang back to life and he could make a fist and bend the arm naturally. Steve reached for Bucky’s clothes and eased the t-shirt over his head, then straightened the arms of the hoodie while Bucky slipped his arms into the t-shirt. He offered the jacket and Bucky slipped his arms into it before grabbing his backpack from the floor and slipping it onto his back. 

“Why did they make you take it off, anyway?” Steve asked gently.

“They wanted to x-ray it and I wasn’t going to just let them x-ray me, they aren’t doctors. Who knows how much radiation is in those x-rays, and I wasn’t taking any chances.” 

It took a minute for it to sink in, but Steve realized Bucky had made the choice to remove his prosthetic to protect his carrier status, to be sure nothing impaired their ability to have a family, not even a tiny bit. He realized that Bucky being a carrier was a tremendous gift, but also at times must be a burden requiring sacrifice. He swore to himself that he would help to lighten Bucky’s load in any way he could. 

Bucky looked at Steve and smiled that crooked smile Steve had already become accustomed to seeing before stepping into Steve’s space and wrapping his arms around his waist. Steve returned the embrace warmly and solidly as he felt Bucky crumble in his arms. He shook softly with silent sobs for just a few short minutes before pulling back and grabbing a paper towel to wipe his face. 

Steve stood by and let Bucky have a second to adjust. He wanted to erase all that had happened so they could start over and have a stress free beginning to their honeymoon trip. Since he couldn’t do that, he could at least provide moral support. 

“Sorry about all that, Steve. Thanks for the help.” Bucky looked sheepish as he apologized. 

“Nah, it was the least I could do. I’m the one who’s sorry. I won’t let it happen again. I promise, Buck. You gonna be okay?”

Bucky appeared to force a smile. “Can only go up from here, right?”

Steve chuckled. “Knock on wood,” he answered by rapping his knuckles against his own head. 

“Jesus, I need a beer,” Bucky sighed.

“I’ll second that,” Steve added before planting a kiss on Bucky’s cheek and taking his left hand in his own. He squeezed and said, “I’m glad to have this hand to hold again.”

Bucky’s heart nearly melted, and he walked out of the bathroom quickly. He wanted to kiss Steve, really kiss him, but he certainly wasn’t going to have them share their first true kiss in the public restroom at Logan International airport. 

Steve waved everyone from asking questions and they headed to the bar to wait for their flight. 

*****

First class was more accommodating than economy and both Steve and Bucky had a comfortable two beers and a burger while waiting at the bar, plus they were served champagne and a cheese selection after boarding. They clinked glasses and sipped as the economy class found their seats. Steve thought Bucky might finally be relaxing after their rough start.

There was a short flight to Charlotte where they almost immediately boarded for their flight to Antigua. The second leg was over seven hours and when they were in the air, Steve and Bucky reclined their seats, forgoing any refreshments, and opted for sleep. 

Bucky pulled his hood up and Steve reached to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Bucky’s ear before accepting two blankets and pillows from the attendant.

“Congratulations on your wedding. Let me know if you need anything, drinks, snacks, more blankets.”

“Thank you very much, we’ve had a busy couple of days. We need to crash for a while,” Steve whispered. 

Steve gave Bucky a pillow and covered him with a blanket. There was an armrest between their seats, but they could lay closer on the lowered seat backs. Bucky rested his face against Steve’s shoulder once he layed back and joined him. 

“Night, Buck, rest for a bit,” Steve said with a chaste kiss as he turned out their lights and pulled Bucky closer to his side. 

“Thanks, Steve, I’m beat all of a sudden.”

“That’s alright, we’ve got two weeks together to rest and relax.”

*****

Steve woke to the shaking of his shoulder by the flight attendant informing him it was time to raise the seat backs, and just before the cabin’s bright lights went on. Next to him, Bucky groaned and curled in on himself. 

“Hey, Buck, we’re gonna land, time to get up.” He found himself smiling at his grumpy husband emerging from his blankety cocoon. 

Once on the ground, they filled out their travel cards for customs. Steve refused to let go of Bucky’s hand at any point while they had their passports stamped. They even took a selfie with their first non military stamps. 

They gathered their luggage and loaded it in a van for the resort. It was hot despite it being early morning, but the van was air conditioned. Steve and Bucky were far past excited and ready to have some fun. 

“I can’t believe we’re here,” Bucky said as they rode to the resort. 

“God, Buck, it’s beautiful even from the windows, huh?” Steve added. 

“I want to go right to the beach, can we?” Bucky asked eagerly.

“I’m taking a fucking nap first,” Elizabeth interjected into their conversation. 

Bucky rolled his eyes. Steve winked at him and whispered, “We can nap under an umbrella at the beach.”

They arrived at the resort and had to go through a half hour orientation about the dress code and behavioral expectations. It was an adult only resort, but there were guidelines to be followed in certain areas regardless. 

Bucky and Steve made their way to the desk to check in and soon found themselves in their tropical paradise two week home away from home. Steve tipped the bellboy and they were alone in their suite. It was a fantastic little set up with a living space, a huge bedroom and a spacious, modern bathroom. 

“Fuck, they spared no expense, did they Steve?”

“God damn I could get used to this,” Steve answered. 

They first thought they would throw on suits and head for the beach, but they had two weeks to spend and decided to be sensible, stop, and unpack first. 

Once they settled all of their clothes and personal items away in dressers and in the bathroom, they put their money and valuables in the safe before changing out of their heavy jeans into swim trunks and flip flops and heading down to one of the private beaches. 

Steve held the map they were given and Bucky packed a lighter backpack he brought with sunscreen, their hats, and sunglasses. Towels, umbrellas and other beach items were provided once down at the beach. 

It was a short walk to the closest beach and they got set up with a big blanket, umbrella and towels. An attendant came and took their drink order. They got bottles of water and some non-alcoholic frozen fruit drinks. They were both still wearing their husband t-shirts, too excited to take them off yet. 

They sat on the blanket out of the direct heat of the sun and sipped their drinks. There was a breeze and they could hear the waves break softly. 

“I feel like we’re in a movie,” Bucky nearly whispered. 

“It’s beautiful, so perfectly beautiful. Wanna walk down by the water, get our feet wet?” Steve asked.

“Our feet? Fuck it, let’s lose our shirts and get right into the water,” Bucky suggested, now practically bubbling with excitement. 

They stripped their shirts, held hands and ran through the sand to the water’s edge. They waded in further and further until they were nearly up to their waists in the clear blue water. Steve had the sense to look back for any safety signs as they were warned to do, but found they were not anywhere near a danger zone. They went further out until the bobbed and bounced in the breaking waves. 

“This feels good,” Bucky chattered. “God the water is so blue, let's go under, get our hair wet. Wanna?”

“You bet,” Steve shouted. He grabbed Bucky’s hands and then they submerged, planting their feet against the bottom and rocketing up out of the water. They shook their hair and looked up at the sun. 

“I feel like a kid, Buck. It’s so great to feel like a kid again,” Steve said splashing the water and slicking his hair back with his hands. He realized Bucky had gone quiet and looked to see why. 

Bucky was standing in the water, smiling and watching with his beautiful blue eyes. Steve thought he looked magnificent in the sun, water glistening on his olive complexion. Bucky stepped closer to Steve and grabbed his biceps like he needed to hold on or something. 

“Buck?” Steve asked open endedly, curious about Bucky’s stillness. “You okay?”

“I’m fucking fantastic, but I feel more like a grown ass man with a handsome husband I want to kiss.”

“Oh really?” Steve laughed playfully. “Do you now?”

Bucky didn’t bother with words. He reached a hand up to the back of Steve’s neck and initiated a kiss. Not just any kiss, either. He put his soul into this kiss, pressing their lips together and then opening his, inviting Steve to explore. Steve caught on quickly and soon they were exploring each other's mouths with their tongues, a mix of salty ocean and fruity drinks. 

Steve wrapped Bucky in his arms, pressing their bodies together as they kissed languidly, returning again and again to renew their first _real_ kiss as a married couple. . 

They finally broke apart and panted, desperate to breathe, never breaking eye contact. 

Steve broke the silence. He rubbed his thumb along Bucky’s cheek.

“Hello husband, you’re a great kisser.”

“Well thank you, husband, you’re not so bad yourself.”

“You want to maybe try that again?” Steve asked with a grin.

“Why not, we _are_ on our honeymoon aren’t we?” Bucky sassed back.

“Indeed we are, Buck, indeed we are,” Steve said before bringing their mouths together again and thinking they were off to a pretty good start. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Closer to that e rating, but not there yet...how are we all doing???


	8. A Little Bump in the Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy anniversary, Rogers,” Nick said a little too cheerily.
> 
> Steve offered his hand, “Hey Nick, Pepper. Delivering glad tidings to all of us, or are we special today?”
> 
> “Just checking in on you. I won’t mince words, you’re footage shows you’ve had a rough night. We came to see if there is anything we can do to help you,” Pepper said in her usual calm voice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now you know it can't all be smooth sailing for these soft boys. You know by now I love emotional hurt/comfort. Indulge a little bump in the road to happiness. 
> 
> Also, though I see a counselor, I am not one. Please forgive any mistakes I make in counselor language. I do not have a beta for a second set of eyes, so you just get my muddled thoughts for these boys.

Bucky woke on day five of their honeymoon, a Friday, curled into Steve’s chest and happy to be there. He thought about how each day was a new adventure. They'd quickly developed their own routine, together, and it was making for a smooth transition as they became a permanent part of each other's lives. It was evident that they were both creatures of habit. Steve pulled him closer and Bucky molded to him, willingly, no longer bothered by being hard together in the morning. 

They started with protein smoothies, using the identical coffee flavored protein powder they had both brought with them, plus tons of fresh fruit and ice provided by the resort at a morning breakfast buffet that Bucky and Steve took advantage of every morning. Already in their work out clothes, they then headed over to the air conditioned gym. 

Walking hand in hand with Steve, sipping on his smoothie and talking about their workout plans brought out the sexy side of Bucky. Steve was ripped, Bucky not far behind in that department, and they turned heads. It felt both powerful and heartwarming, if that was possible. Of course, Bucky never acted on feeling sexy. That would be convenient. 

They had not even progressed past the intense kissing that Bucky initiated on their first day because Steve was a saint and not pushing Bucky to move too fast. Sometimes when they were running on side by side treadmills, each with their own music playing in their ears, and Steve reached over to hold his hand for a second, or to offer a wink and a smile, Bucky wished Steve _might_ push him a little more in the sexy area. 

Bucky definitely trusted Steve, and wanted more with Steve. Virginity was a social construct after all, not a physical prize to be given or taken. Sleeping with Steve would not be anything but making love to his husband, something Bucky wanted to do. Something he’d longed for...something he’d taken the risk and married a stranger to have happen. 

The question Bucky asked himself was, why hadn't he just done that? The answer was complicated. Bucky kept waiting for it to make sense to him, but answering that was like chasing a figure that continually disappeared unto a fog in front of him. He never saw it quite clearly enough to understand it. There was always this wall that shot up when things might get heated, and Bucky would withdraw ever so slightly. 

After their workout, having spotted one another while lifting, legs one day, upper body the next, cue any dirty gym dream Bucky had ever had in his life, they headed back to the suite to shower. 

Alone. 

Steve had offered more than once, citing plenty of room and promising no untoward advances, and Bucky had declined. Again, Bucky was not sure why he did that, but it extended the pattern in his behavior. Steve took it all in stride. 

“Still on for snorkeling in the reef today?” Steve shouted from the shower. 

“Yep,” Bucky shouted back. He was looking at his journal as Steve showered. The second day they were in Antigua, he’d made the suggestion that they map out their time to make sure they did not miss anything they wanted to do. There were so many activities and opportunities, it would have been a shame to leave it up to whimsy. Of course Bucky missed lesson planning, but Steve didn’t really need to know that.

Steve bounded happily from the shower, like a large happy puppy, wet and tousle headed as he usually did, planting a kiss Bucky had grown to expect upon his lips, before dropping the towel to get dressed. Bucky took his cue, left his journal on the bed and headed to the shower himself. 

Once dressed, Bucky grabbed their backpack filled with the day’s needs and in swim trunks and lightweight short sleeved button downs, they headed out, flip flops smacking, towards the undersea world where they would learn how to snorkel. They were loaned equipment and given lessons on how to breathe effectively before they were led in a group to the actual reef to snorkel among the coral and various brightly colored creatures in the ocean. 

It was a magnificent excursion, even with novice mistakes and inhaled ocean water.

“Jesus, I’ve swallowed a lot of salt water,” Bucky said, voice nasaly, as they bobbed on the service, taking a break from the snorkel breathing. 

“Yeah, but you look so hot in the goggles,” Steve teased, his voice just as nasaly. Bucky snorted, inhaling more ocean and sputtering at his husband.

Steve laughed, throwing his head back and Christ almighty, he was hot. Even wet, his chest hair was sexy and his pecs were edible. That is they _would_ be edible if Bucky had the courage to attempt to eat them. He didn’t even have the courage to apply sunscreen to all of that luscious expanse of skin covering all those ripply muscles. Bucky’d bought the spray kind, just to avoid the very problem. He thought Steve might have looked a teensy bit disappointed when he did. 

The kick fins were the hardest thing to get used to, but soon Steve and Bucky were exploring and using their iphones to take photos. They had invested in underwater cases with wrist straps after day one and had not regretted a thing. 

At the surface once again, Steve shouted, “Was that a fucking shark?”

“It was a tiny shark, and I got a picture of it with you,” Bucky answered just as excited as Steve at the encounter. They looked at it together, treading water all the while. 

“Good shot, Babe,” Steve said, leaning in for a kiss. Bucky was stunned by the pet name, but pleased nonetheless. Bucky wrapped himself around Steve and kissed him soundly, luckily Steve could tread water for the both of them.

After the snorkling, they rinsed the salt water off at the public showers before putting their shirts back on and heading to find some lunch at one of the casual restaurants called The Outhouse. They had ribs and french fries _and_ coleslaw to say they had a vegetable. 

They were sitting at a table near the sign they had made together. That was a thing at this particular restaurant. Couples could select a board and decorate it to represent themselves and nail it to the wall somewhere. They made theirs the second day they were at the resort and Steve was sentimental enough that when they came back for lunch, he insisted on waiting for the table near their sign. They took a selfie with it. It read:

_Steve and Bucky_

_The Rogers_

_Epic Honeymoon Trip_

Licking sauce off his fingers, Steve asked Bucky a question. “Do you want to go to one of the nicer places for dinner tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow?”

“One week, Bucky...don’t tell me you didn’t remember,” Steve poked playfully. 

“Oh, yeah...I knew that. I just didn’t think it would matter that much...to you I mean…” Bucky swallowed his bite of food and looked down at his plate, suddenly self-conscious that he’d shared that thought. 

Steve got very quiet. When Bucky glanced up for just a second, Steve looked wounded.

He felt the knuckle of Steve’s first finger under his chin, lifting until he had no choice but to close his eyes or meet Steve’s. Regret bubbled in his throat. Steve’s eyes, blue and shiny, searched his.

“I sh-shouldn’t have said that. You’ve never been anything but great and certainly didn’t give me any reason to think…” he stopped to swallow again, hard against the lump in his throat. Steve’s eyes looked so disappointed. 

Steve began to talk in short stilted sentences. Like that was all he was really able to get out. He sounded hurt. “I really like you, Bucky. I’ve never been so happy. I know it’s not quite a week, but… I mean it’s been great, for me...being with you. I…” his voice broke a little and he stopped. 

“Same here,” Bucky managed to squeak out. Steve wasn’t convinced. 

“Really?” Steve asked, this time his tone a little stern. It wasn’t actually what Bucky said on it’s own that concerned Steve. It was that fact that at no time did Bucky say he didn’t _mean_ what he said, or that it came out wrong or that Steve interpreted it differently than Bucky intended. He just stated he should have kept it to himself, then indicated the exact opposite.

Bucky nodded. 

“Then why say that?”

Shrugging his shoulders as his answer, Bucky looked away from Steve who released his chin. Self defeating was one of Bucky’s strengths. Instead of waiting for the other person to break up in the past, Bucky often sabotaged things to end it himself. Control freak. Only he didn’t know why he would do it with Steve, they were married.

As a detective, Steve dealt with a lot of personalities and in his experience, most of what people said, came from some source of truth or foundation. People who lied, lied from a source within them, often basing a lie off of their own experience or belief. A stretching of their reality. That’s what scared Steve about Bucky’s off handed comment. Part of Bucky must mean what he said.

“Is it something I’ve done? Said? Didn’t do?” 

“No, of course not. It’s not that big a deal, I don’t know why I said it at all. Let’s go to that Pineapple Grill restaurant. We’ll get dressed up and make a nice night of it.”

“You sure?” Steve asked cautiously. 

Bucky plastered a smile on his face before answering. He knew he’d made Steve feel bad and for no good reason. He certainly felt like Steve cared about him. He didn’t even know why he said that to Steve. “More than sure. It’ll be great.”

“Alright, I’ll call for a reservation,” Steve answered, but the sparkle was gone from Steve’s eyes and he ordered another beer. 

The rest of their afternoon was quiet, spent lounging on the beach in their favorite spot under an umbrella. Bucky tried to carry on a conversation but Steve bowed out, politely of course.

“Sorry, Bucky, I’m just sleepy from snorkeling. Do you mind if I take a little nap?”

“No, sure, go on, that’s fine.” But Bucky knew it wasn’t.

They showered when they went back to the room, separately, Steve didn’t even try this time. He just showered and then put sleep pants on. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Bucky asked tentatively, unsure of the answer he would get tonight. They usually got redressed for dinner after the beach and went out, had a few drinks and hung out a bit. 

“Sure, I can order a pizza and we can eat while we watch.”

They chose Die Hard and Steve put the pizza box between them on the couch. When it was over, Steve cleaned up and threw the pizza box in the garbage. 

“Night, Bucky. I’m beat. I’m gonna hit the hay.”

Bucky crawled into bed and faced Steve, who lay with his back to Bucky’s side of the bed. 

“Steve? I think I’ve upset you and I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

Bucky turned away and barely slept all night. He woke, after what little sleep he got, alone, no arms around him, no tickly beard on his neck. No kiss. No Steve. 

Just as he was about to panic, he heard the door to the suite open. Steve came to the bedroom and handed Bucky a protein smoothie. He looked like a puppy someone had kicked. 

“If you’d like to go to the gym with me I’ll wait for you.”

Bucky scrambled out of bed to get ready.

*****

Steve hardly slept. He’d always had trouble sleeping since his deployments with special forces. He just didn’t naturally relax on missions. Yet after marrying Bucky, one week ago, Steve had slept like a baby every night. Something about this beautiful stranger grounded Steve, let him relax and focus on something else besides his own insecurities. 

Steve had thought things were going well. He knew Bucky was apprehensive about sex, but he thought they were bonding. Bucky didn’t startle around Steve anymore and he even initiated simple affection. Steve had clearly misinterpreted something along the line. Cue the detective side to come out and analyze every word he’d said and move he’d made. 

Bucky’s reaction to Steve referring to their one week anniversary left him with the impression that Bucky was not investing the way Steve was and it was a crushing blow. It had only been a week, but Steve was excited to celebrate their one week anniversary together.

Why would Bucky say he didn’t think Steve would care? Was that how Bucky really thought Steve felt about their new relationship? Or did Bucky not care, so he was surprised Steve did? None of those questions had positive answers in Steve’s head. 

Steve wasn’t trying to be an asshole but he had struggled the rest of the day, yesterday, to communicate his feelings to Bucky. Christ, Steve was practically ready to use the “L” word at their anniversary dinner. 

Steve fell hard when he did, and he’d fallen hard for Bucky. They were just meshing so well together. Steve felt so in tune with Bucky. Now he was struggling with the fact that Bucky might not be as invested and once again Steve would get his heart broken, only this time with a bonus prize of a divorce to top it off. 

He shook his head and took the two smoothies back to the room. At least Bucky looked regretful and jumped at the chance to keep their morning workout. 

Steve found himself treating Bucky like a skittish witness, careful of every word he said. The worst part was resisting his usual touches and smiles, but he wasn’t sure what to do or how to fix it. It was painful and it was killing him. 

“Good workout, huh?” Steve asked as they finished. Jesus Christ he was smooth.

“Yeah, I can feel it in my shoulders. That one set you added.”

“Oh, hey, if it’s too much, we don’t have to-“

“Steve, I didn’t say it was too much,” Bucky interrupted a little sharper than he intended.

“Sorry,” Steve replied softly, his eyes concerned.

Bucky huffed out a breath. “No, I’m sorry, Steve. I shouldn’t have barked like that. I apologize.”

“It’s okay,” Steve answered quickly. 

“The fuck it is, I know better. You know better than to say it is.”

Steve opted to walk away rather than make it worse. Bucky followed behind. 

“Walking away?” Bucky asked curtly. He knew he was being an ass, he just didn’t know why. 

Steve wheeled on him in the hallway. Bucky expected anger but got devastation in the form of watery blue eyes. “I’m just not sure where I stand...where this is all coming from, and I don’t want to make it worse.”

That makes two of us, Bucky thought. 

Steve turned and kept walking and it took Bucky a minute to collect himself and catch up. They left the gym building and walked quietly back to their suite. When they arrived, they were not alone. 

“Guess I pissed off the parents,” Bucky said as they approached Pepper Potts and Nick Fury on their veranda. 

“Wonder what they want,” Steve said aloud.

“Happy anniversary, Rogers,” Nick said a little too cheerily.

Steve offered his hand, “Hey Nick, Pepper. Delivering glad tidings to all of us, or are we special today?”

“Just checking in on you. I won’t mince words, you’re footage shows you’ve had a rough night. We came to see if there is anything we can do to help you,” Pepper said in her usual calm voice. 

Steve felt his face burn as Pepper spoke, even though he felt like they needed the help to work through what had happened. He glanced at Bucky who had hung back and avoided much eye contact at all. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and Steve wanted nothing more than to go to him and hug him. He didn’t dare. 

Nick spoke up. “Steve, how about we go inside to the suite and Bucky and Pepper can talk out here?”

“You’re the boss,” Steve said. He looked again to Bucky who was still avoiding his gaze. Still, he couldn’t agree without checking with his husband. 

“You alright, Bucky?” His question earned him what most would see as an indifferent shrug, but Steve could tell that Bucky was upset. Steve looked to Nick and Pepper and his face must have conveyed his concern. They both nodded at him and Nick indicated with a jerk of his head for Steve to go inside. 

He went inside with his key card and glanced back one more time. Right behind him, Nick reassured him, “Let’s go, Steve. Pepper will take good care of him.”

Steve felt tears prickle in his eyes before he even realized it. Nick put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to the couch in the living space. “Sit. Let’s have a little talk,” Nick said, handing him some tissues from his jacket pocket. He sat in a chair across from the couch. Steve felt incredibly isolated...on display. 

Cameras had followed them and Steve was mortified. There was nothing Steve could do. He was not in control of his emotions. He pressed the tissues to his eyes. He took deep breaths and willed himself to relax. 

“It’s gonna be alright, Steve. You’re alright. Bucky’s alright. We’ve put you both in a stressful situation and you’ve done very well together. No one is at fault here. This is not your fault,” Nick soothed. 

“I don’t even know what happened,” Steve answered, his own voice sounding as stunned as he felt. “We were having a great day.”

“Yes, you were. Can I ask what upset you? I mean I know what Bucky said to you that seemed to cause you to be upset, but can you elaborate how his words made you feel?”

“I like him, Nick. I really like him,” Steve said and he had to take more breaths to calm himself. He huffed out a final breath, narrowly avoiding actually crying. “I’ve put myself out there and I’m all in.”

Nick nodded at him, listening intently. 

“I mean, I was really looking forward to celebrating tonight. We have been going pretty hard every day, lots of trips and activities...I suggested we slow it down, maybe get dressed up and have a nice dinner. Made sense to me. When he made the comment about why, I thought he was kidding, so I busted back and teased him like he forgot we’d been married a whole week. So he comes back with a comment about how he knew what Saturday was but didn’t think it would matter to _me_ .” Steve’s voice broke on the last word. He looked up at Nick, hands gesturing as if to say _what the fuck_. He couldn’t continue, not without becoming more emotional. 

“And all you’ve got for me is you feel like he minimized your feelings? Come on, you probably wanted to knock him on his ass. Most guys would."

Steve would never hit Bucky, but remembering it did make him angry, then hurt again. “I feel like he blew off everything we’ve accomplished together. I’m invested, and I thought he was invested in what we’ve shared, but now I question that he’s invested anything at all. I feel like maybe he’s just playing along and having fun, but it doesn’t mean the same to him. I’m...I’m...It’s too late...I’ve already given... I mean...Nick, my heart isn't mine anymore.”

“I know, Steve. I know. You’ve given it to him. You’ve given your heart to Bucky. I knew you would the day of the wedding when you saw that he was upset with the ceremony.”

“You’re right. I knew it then, too. But I don’t think he feels the same.”

“I am going to tell you something and I want you to do your best to listen and let it sink in. _Bucky feels the same_.” Steve shook his head and Nick stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “He does, Steve. He knows as well as anyone that you’ve given him your heart. He knows. Bucky appreciates everything you’ve done, and everything you’ve done together. He does.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Pepper and I watched the footage. I imagine you’ve seen the way he looks at you. Like you’ve hung the moon, don’t you agree? And correct me if I’m wrong, he’s initiated the kissing, he’s more comfortable physically, even though you’re not fully intimate?”

“I think so. But I am beginning to question my impressions.”

“Don’t. You’re right. Here’s the part I need you to grab with both hands and hang onto for me. Bucky is struggling. We thought he might. He’s twenty nine years old and he’s not shared intimacy with anyone. He told you that and he was upset when he did, so obviously it’s a sore spot for him. Now, you’ve been making great progress towards friendship and intimacy and out of the blue, he makes a comment like he did, making it about you. Think about that.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m sayin’ your boy is getting nervous and rather than him refuse intimacy again, he pisses you off and then you’re mad at him but he’s controlled the whole thing.”

“Oh.” Steve gave Nick's words some thought. “ _Oh…”_

“There you go, I can see the wheels turning.”

“He’s scared?”

“He feels out of his league. Give him a classroom, he runs it. Give him a friend, he has a ball. Give him your heart and he panics and shoves you away. He has no idea how to be intimate. I think part of it stems from being self conscious about his arm and his being a carrier. I think that makes for a difficult combo in the dating world.”

All of Steve’s anger and insecurity melted away into concern...for Bucky. “He likes me. I know he does. What you said makes complete sense. He’s freaking out and he doesn’t know what to do. I need to let him know it’s okay. I want to go see him, tell him.”

“I knew you were a smart man, Steve Rogers. Let’s give him a few more minutes with Pepper.”

“Alright, I need to apologize for getting so upset. He’s probably worried as hell and doesn't know how to tell me.”

“Good man, Steve. He’s a lucky man to have your heart. He just needs to figure out how to give you his.”

“Nick, I think he already did and maybe that’s why he’s scared. The next step is one he hasn’t made yet, that’s all.”

Nick nodded and then his phone got a notification. He read it and looked at Steve. “Pepper’s bringing him in. Move over and give him a little space. Let’s listen first before talking.”

Steve nodded and looked to the opening door. Bucky came in, eyes rimmed with red. Steve knew in that moment that he loved Bucky. He loved him with all his heart. He itched to hold him and let him know that. 

****

Pepper sat on the two seater wicker settee on the veranda and patted the seat next to her. Bucky sat like he didn't have a choice.

“How are you, Bucky?”

“Peachy, thanks.”

Pepper just waited quietly. 

“I’m sorry, that was rude. I shouldn’t have said that to you,” Bucky said apologetically. 

“You’re struggling.”

“I am.”

“Why do you think that is?”

Bucky thinks before answering. “I don’t really know.”

“I think maybe you do. Let’s start with things in general. How do you feel after spending a week with Steve, as husbands?”

“I feel pretty good about everything until yesterday.”

“Do you think the two of you are connecting?”

Bucky nodded.

“Is Steve good to you, supportive and respectful of your choices?”

Bucky’s head shot up, her question catching him off guard. He knew what she was asking. He nodded again in response, this time because he might cry if he tried to speak. He felt bad about how he’d treated Steve yesterday and this morning. He knew he’d messed up.

“Here’s the hard one. If Steve is being good to you and he’s supportive, why did you, out of the blue, make a hurtful comment like you did?”

Bucky shrugged. 

Pepper’s next words were spoken gently. “Bucky, that is just not good enough. Steve has been very loving and kind, and what you said caused him pain. You knew it would before you said it. I think you were scared that after one week he wanted to celebrate and you lashed out at him to make yourself feel better. It’s called deflection. What do you think about that?”

He looked at her and felt the first tear slip down his cheek. She was right and he knew it. He was pushing Steve away to save himself from his fears and from heartache. Something he’d done in the past but something he absolutely did not need to do when Steve was involved. 

“It’s alright, Bucky. Sometimes you just have to understand that you deserve good things and it’s okay to let yourself have those good things.”

“But I’ve ruined everything,” Bucky whispered. 

“No, no you haven’t. Steve cares about you. He’ll understand. Tell me how you feel about Steve?’

Bucky wiped his tears and looked up at Pepper. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, tell me how you feel about Steve? Do you like him? What thoughts come into your head when you think of him?”

“I do like him. He’s a gentle giant. He’s sweet. He’s handsome and attractive. He’s fun. I think he’ll be a great dad,” Bucky broke on the last one. Pepper handed him tissues from her purse. He wiped his eyes and nose with them. 

“Do you ever think about being sexually intimate with him?”

Bucky's sob turned into a laugh. “All the time.”

“You do. If you don’t mind me asking, what does that look like when you think about it?”

Bucky didn’t know how to answer that question without embarrassing himself. He’d made out with people, heavy petting if you will. He’d seen movies and porn, he’d talked about sex, but he’d never actually experienced it, so he had no idea what to picture in his mind. He felt his face heat and he shifted uncomfortably. 

“I don’t really have any clear pictures in my mind, except maybe what I piece together from videos or movies, and it’s always so intense, like pleasure and pain and always in the middle of whatever is happening, or the end…Jesus, this is embarrassing. I’m almost thirty.”

Pepper took his hand in hers. “Bucky, you have not had a typical journey in life. Let’s talk about your history from the intake. You found out in high school that you were a carrier, correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Not many high school dates?”

“Nope,” Bucky said, popping the p. “People say they don’t have problems with carriers, but they weren’t lining up to date me." 

“And you joined the military where you discovered that you were bisexual, were trained as a sniper and subsequently lost your arm, somehow survived, went through rehab and now live with a prosthetic. Yet you still managed to finish two degrees and become a teacher.”

“Well, yeah I guess I did.”

“Bucky that is a lot for you to deal with yourself, nevermind bringing someone else in to share that with you. You were hurting and healing and then pouring yourself into your training to be a teacher. You only had so much energy. You focused it where you thought it was most important, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, now that you say it like that.”

“Sometimes when people only have so much energy, they prioritize what they want. I think that your bisexuality, being a carrier, and your injury and prosthetic arm was a lot to carry into a relationship...into being intimate. I think that maybe you pushed away anyone that wasn’t platonic because you didn’t have what you needed to invest at the time. Can you see that as a behaviour pattern in your past?”

Bucky flipped through his memories and it all started to click. Pepper was right, and she was a sex therapist after all. She would know. It was a lot to take in and process.

“I think maybe you’re r-right,” Bucky answered, emotion breaking through his voice.

“Now one final question. Why do _you_ think you made that comment to Steve yesterday?”

Bucky turned his face toward the ocean and took in the blue water. He closed his eyes and listened to the waves break. He pictured Steve and how handsome he had been at the end of the aisle just one short week ago. He pictured him sitting patiently by the side of the bathtub as Bucky confessed his concerns that night. He saw the concern and emotion on his face when Bucky was released from security at the airport. He saw Steve’s soft smile as he helped Bucky with his arm. He felt every hug and every squeeze of his hands, every slide of his lips and brush of his beard. He heard the softness in his voice, the ring of his laughter...and then the hurt he had caused. Then he answered.

“I’m afraid,” he sobbed out. “I hurt him before he could hurt me and it was so stupid because Steve isn’t like everyone else and he’s not going to hurt me.” 

“I don’t think anyone in any relationship is perfect, but I think that Steve will do his absolute best to never hurt you. I think you are right about that. I think you _are_ scared. I think it’s natural to be scared of change. Think about your kindergartners when they come in on the first day. I bet some are as bold as brass, and some cry their eyes out. Everyone reacts differently, but there is no right or wrong in feelings, just in our actions, Bucky.”

He nodded and took a few deep breaths. “Can we go see, Steve? I want to apologize. I think it might be too late, though.”

“No it’s not, Bucky. I think Steve cares an awful lot for you. Take a minute to think about what you want to say. It’s better to go in with a plan.”

Bucky took his time and decided what he wanted to convey to Steve. He talked it over with Pepper and when he was confident, what a joke, he was terrified his words would be too late, he stood. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose, and took some deep breaths. 

He knew he was a mess. They had not showered after working out, he’d been crying and he was an ugly crier at best. That didn’t matter, now. What did was trying to explain himself to Steve. With one final breath he opened the door and walked into their suite. 

Steve was sitting on the far side of the sofa and Nick was in one of the adjacent chairs. Emotion welled up, tightening Bucky’s throat, but he tamped it down and stood at the end of the sitting area, leaving Steve space to retreat if he wanted it. Steve looked upset. His eyes were red and his forehead did this thing where it wrinkled and made his eyebrows look like a sad dog. His blue eyes still lacked the luster of the Steve he’d grown accustomed to, before Bucky had ruined their burgeoning relationship. 

He looked Steve in the eye and tried to start, but his lips would not cooperate. His chin trembled and he could not get the lump in his throat to shrink. He swallowed thickly, with a loud click he knew everyone heard. He tried again.

*****

Steve was a shaky mess when Bucky started to talk. It was hard enough to just see him so upset, but when his voice warbled and he swallowed, struggling to say what he wanted, Steve could hardly bear it. His hands were in fist on his thighs as he sat and gave Bucky time to regroup. 

“S-Steve, I am truly sorry for what I said yesterday. It was not anything to do with you and- and,” Bucky took a big breath and let it out before continuing. “I hope that you will let me...that you can…”

Bucky had gone as far as he could and still hold himself in check. When his tears started, Steve could not not wait any longer. “Bucky,” he hushed, as he stood and closed the space between them, wrapping Bucky in his arms just as he fell apart. 

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky sobbed into Steve’s shoulder. 

Steve cried softly himself, relieved to see Bucky’s emotions had returned to him. “I know,” he soothed. “I know you are. I am, too.” 

He rocked them where they stood, letting Bucky work through the intensity of the moment. Steve knew they would talk more. Both Pepper and Nick would see to that. But for now, they needed to hold each other and know they would be okay and that neither was angry at the other, to know they were still _together_. 

When Bucky’s sobs settled, Steve helped him to the couch. Pepper handed Steve two warm damp washcloths.

“Thank you,” he said as he took them both. He wiped Bucky’s face first, then his own, being sure to smooth Bucky’s hair back from his face.

“There, that’s better,” Steve said, putting the cloths on the table and taking Bucky back into his arms. Bucky looked exhausted and still quite upset. He lifted his head and looked Steve in the eye, not an easy task for him, if Steve read his face correctly. 

“I really am sorry, Steve. I acted out because of my own fears and it wasn’t fair to you.”

Steve knelt in front of Bucky, hands on his thighs. “What fears, Buck?” he asked genuinely. “Is it about being physical? Buck I can wait if it’s that. I’d never want you to be worried about that.”

“I know you would and it is partly about sex. It’s just that I have never let myself become attached to anyone other than friendship. We’ve had such fun this week. I just get this wall that flies up when I think someone is going to think of me as anything but a friend.” 

“Am I not what you thought, not your type? It’s okay, you can tell me,” Steve placed a hand to Bucky’s face, encouraging Bucky, all the while dreading he might be right.

Bucky leaned into Steve’s touch. “Jesus no, Steve. You’re everything I have ever wanted in a husband.”

“Okay, then. Are you still wanting to be married to me? If it’s too much, and you need out, I would do the right thing here. I need you to know that.”

Bucky’s eyes flew open. He grabbed Steve’s upper arms, squeezing like he was desperate.

“God, Steve, I do. I want you, I want us. I’m sorry. I know I probably went too far and you’re upset with me, but I want to stay together.”

‘Hang on, hang on, take a breath, I’m not going anywhere. I’m sorry for getting upset and making you feel worse than you already did. I was worried and hurt, but I think I understand what happened. I think we can work through it together. You need to know, Buck. I am all in. I am invested. I was excited about today being our one week anniversary. A week ago I met you, and married you. Buck, do you know how lucky I feel?” Steve asked with a little smile as he continued. “Saturday is always going to be my favorite day because of that. That’s what I think every day when I wake up next to you.”

“You’re it for me, too, Steve. I mean it. I have a bad habit of putting on the breaks instead of getting close, but I want more with you. I want you, all of you. I didn’t show that yesterday, but I just panicked when you talked about our anniversary. If you were this excited about one week of marriage, how would I ever live up to that? How would you deal with me just being boring old Bucky Barnes, teacher and couch potato?”

“You’re not a couch potato any more than I am. Look at us, it’s our honeymoon and we work out every day. Even today, when we were in the middle of all this, we still went to the gym. We’re meant to be, Buck. We’re a matched set.” Steve laughed a little and Bucky joined him just for a second. 

Bucky looked serious again as he continued. “In the past I cut people out before they could cut me out. That’s what happened yesterday. But I know that’s wrong and that you wouldn't hurt me. I just have no idea how to progress from here. I am twenty nine years old and I have no idea how to make you happy in bed. That’s a problem.”

“No it isn’t. That’s the easy part, Buck. And we don’t start with you making me happy in bed. We start with making you feel good in bed. When you’re ready, that is,” Steve added sheepishly.

“God, I am so fucking ready. I just need to...to...Christ. I have no idea what I need to do.”

“Well, Buck, I do. We’ll start slow, and we’ll have fun while we do. It’s not just about...shit, I don't now how exactly to say this to you, but it's not just fucking. It’s not so serious, Buck. Sex is fun when it’s with the right person. You’re my right person. I’m pretty sure you feel the same. And we’ve got forever to figure it out, together.”

“I don’t want to take forever. Please don’t take forever.You’re so...this,” Bucky said motioning to Steve’s body. 

Steve returned the favor, motioning to Bucky, “And you’re all this. So let’s just explore us, no big deal.”

“Big Deal, Steve.”

“Can I kiss you, Buck?”

“I wish you would.”

Steve wrapped his hand around the back of Bucky’s neck, fingers in his silky hair, messily tucked up in a bun. He pressed their lips together, ignoring everyone in the room but Bucky. Bucky held Steve’s face in his hands and returned the kiss, opening his mouth, seeking with his tongue and finding Steve’s as they made up for all the heartache they were feeling. The parted lips, pressing their foreheads together, connecting. 

“Steve?” Bucky said softly. 

“Hmmm...” Steve answered.

“I miss my kids,” he admitted quietly. 

“Awww, Buck, I’m sorry,” Steve said, softly scratching his fingers in Bucky’s hair. 

“Yesterday, I got a lot of pictures of all the Easter things I had planned for the sub. I think that I’m not used to not doing teacher things. Not that we aren’t having fun, but....”

“Of course we are, but it doesn’t mean you can’t miss back home, too. It does explain the schedule we made, huh? Hey, maybe when we go shopping, we can buy some things for your class and for your sub. I bet they’d love presents from your honeymoon.”

Bucky hugged Steve tightly for understanding him. 

Pepper broke into their bubble. “You seem to be doing much better. I think that we might go and leave you to your day. Steve, I’ll be in touch later, I’ve got some ideas for you guys to get a little more familiarity. Alright?”

Steve stood and pulled Bucky up to his feet. “Thank you, Pepper,” Steve said, offering his hand. Pepper ignored it and gave him a hug instead. 

“You’re a remarkable man, Steve Rogers,” she whispered before moving to hug Bucky. 

“You two have a great day. Go out to dinner, have some fun. You’re gonna do well," Nick said. He shook Steve’s hand, then Bucky’s before motioning for the cameras to go. “Come on, now. They need some time. You can catch up with them later.”

Then Bucky and Steve were once again alone. 

“I don’t know about you, but I need a shower,” Steve said with a sigh.

“Totally,” Bucky answered.

“Why don’t you go first, Buck,” Steve said, pulling the tie our of Bucky’s hair, letting it fall to his shoulders. 

Bucky’s mouth turned up in sassy smile as he turned towards the bedroom area. “Why don’t you come with me. I’ll wash your hair and you can wash mine.”

“Ooooh, that sounds nice,” Steve said sliding up behind him and pressing their front and back together. “You sure?”

“I am. Just washing our hair, though, for now…that’s all I think I can figure out, okay?”

“It’s plenty, Buck. It sounds great.”

Bucky started the water to warm and they brushed their teeth and then Bucky started to undress, pulling his shirt over his head and dropping it before slipping his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and dropped them. Steve stripped his own shirt off and stripped his shorts off quickly so Bucky would not feel alone in his nakedness. He let Bucky step in the water first, then followed behind. 

“Okay, Buck?”

Bucky nodded. 

“Can I hug you, I promise no funny business.”

“Yeah.”

Steve turned his back to the spray of the glassed in shower, so Bucky’s face was not in the stream. Bucky willingly wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and their bodies pressed together, shoulder to hips. Bucky tilted his face and Steve kissed him chastely so as not to overstep. 

Steve held Bucky tenderly and said, “Sometimes being intimate with someone has nothing to do with sex, Buck. Just showering together like this, just sharing this time, it’s a good start for us. I want you to know that the moment I saw you last Saturday, my heart no longer belonged to me. I lost it that day, willingly. My heart belongs to you now, Sweetheart. It always will.”

Bucky just swallowed, overwhelmed, but Steve didn’t even blink. He just spun them around and let the water soak Bucky’s hair, before rubbing a handful of shampoo in his hands and then scrubbing it gently into the long brown hair. When he was done Bucky returned the favor. Then they washed their own bodies, rinsed, toweled off and left the bathroom, towels around their waists. 

Dropping his towel with a giggle, Bucky pulled on swim trunks and a t-shirt. 

“Very funny, Buck,” Steve laughed aloud. “You’re such a smart ass.”

“But, I’m _your_ smart ass,” Bucky shot back with a fondness in his voice. 

“And nothing could make me happier, Mr. Rogers,” Steve said sincerely. “Now what’s in that fancy schedule of yours today?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving along aren't we? Next up, Anniversary Night!!!!! What could Pepper have planned for them?


	9. Happy Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey,” Bucky called softly to Steve, who turned and, honest to God, audibly gasped when he did. Bucky felt the sweep of Steve’s eyes as he moved his gaze from Bucky’s face down to his white slip on keds. It almost felt like each piece of clothing was melting away under Steve’s travelling eyes. Bucky found he didn’t mind it one bit, though he squirmed ever so slightly under the scrutiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finishing this late tonight, hope I don’t have too many errors! I also hope you enjoy indulging the fact that the last time I was even remotely cool or relevant was the 1980’s!

The arduous conversations had left them with little in the way of energy or adventure, so Steve and Bucky spent the remainder of the morning just lying on the beach. They had originally scheduled paddle boarding for an activity, but they both admitted they were emotionally spent and decided to just relax and enjoy being together. The quiet was no longer awkward or uncomfortable. If they had something to say, they shared it, otherwise they were okay just to be still with each other. Things felt righted, balanced again. 

Steve wanted Bucky to know he wasn’t upset with him. He wanted to do something special to help him relax. Steve pretended to go to the bathroom at one point but really approached one of the attendants and made arrangements for an afternoon couples massage at the spa as an surprise. He went back to the umbrella with a little pep in his step. 

“Where’d you go? I was getting worried,” Bucky said, removing his sunglasses. 

Steve kicked off his flip flops off and plunked down on the blanket next to Bucky. Leaning in, Steve planted a kiss to Bucky’s temple. 

“I made us an appointment for this afternoon, at the spa. How do you feel about getting a couple’s massage?”

Bucky tensed at the idea, another life experience he lacked. He wasn’t sure what to think, but he’d already caused enough of a problem so he made an effort. “I’ve never had a massage, but I’m willing to give it a try.”

“Really, Buck? Never?”

“Nope, never. I’ve been to a chiropractor, still go because of my arm. I can’t imagine it being much different.”

“Oh I think you are going to love a massage. They work all the kinks out of your muscles and you turn into jelly. I imagine it would be good for your shoulder,” Steve described it with groans as he laid back down on the blanket. 

“What’s the couple part?” Bucky asked nervously, beginning to chew on his bottom lip and laying back down next to Steve. 

Steve sought Bucky’s hand with his and squeezed when he found it. “It just means they put us on side by side tables in the same room.”

“Oh,” was all Bucky could come up with. He spent the time waiting for the massage worrying about whether or not he would like it and feeling like a goddamn Debbie Downer. He did not understand why he could not just look forward to new things instead of dreading them. He helped five year olds adjust, but he couldn’t? It didn’t make sense.

Bucky didn’t eat much lunch, poked and prodded at his food, citing the heat when asked about it. When Steve suggested it was time to go, Bucky felt himself curling in and getting too quiet. Steve seemed really excited. Bucky was simply not, but could not find it in him to disappoint Steve again. He tried his best to have a positive attitude. 

Steve sensed that something wasn’t quite right with Bucky as they were packing up to go to the spa. He decided after yesterday’s debacle that he was going to have to help Bucky speak up until they both got more comfortable. Instead of ignoring what was happening, Steve addressed it. 

He stopped Bucky where they were walking on the path. “Buck, you look uncomfortable. What’s up?”

“I’m fine, I just…” he sighed instead of finishing his sentence and Steve nudged a little, but gently.

“You can tell me, it’s alright. Is it the massage? I know how you sometimes feel about new things. If you don’t want to go, we can just find something else to do.” Steve genuinely meant what he said. Not everyone liked the same things. Steve loved a good massage, maybe Bucky wouldn’t. It wasn’t a deal breaker. 

“I feel like maybe you think anything you suggest I am just putting the kibosh on. I don’t mean to do that, but I’m not sure if I will enjoy it or not. I’m sorry, Steve. I know I’ve messed up the rhythm of things between us, but I am trying to be flexible.”

“Being you is not messing up, Buck. We have to navigate a lot of uncharted ground and it’s not always gonna be perfect. That’s okay. I just need you to tell me and not clam up and turn in on yourself. It can’t feel good for you, and it pains me to think you would do something you didn’t like to please me. If you don’t want to try a massage we don’t have to go.”

Bucky was relieved that Steve didn’t seem upset about Bucky balking at the massage. Steve was excited though and Bucky thought about it. “No, I guess if you think it’s a good thing and you like them, maybe it’s worth a shot. It’ll help me if you walk me through what’s going to happen, like I’m not gonna be naked or anything am I?”

Steve laughed aloud and pulled Bucky close. Steve always smelled so good and Bucky sensed Steve was not laughing at him but just amused by him. “No, sweetheart, I wouldn’t let anyone see you naked before I get to have a good look at you.”

Bucky punched Steve in the shoulder, “Asshole.”

“Yeah, but I’m your asshole,” Steve said kissing his way down Bucky’s neck and holding him close. “Let’s go, see how you do and if you don’t care for it, we'll go, no big deal.”

They arrived at the spa where everything was a relaxing white color against the teak wood of the spa walls. It was beautiful and if Bucky were not so nervous, he would have loved the vibe. 

True to his word, Steve helped Bucky adjust by asking a lot of questions of the spa attendants. Bucky was still nervous but soon found himself handed a soft robe and he and Steve were ushered into a very nice dressing room to change. 

“Slip into your robes and then come right back here,” the attendant said discreetly. 

“Like naked, slipping into it?” Bucky asked, his voice far higher than he intended. Steve grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

The attendant didn’t even blink. “That’s your choice. We are prepared to accommodate you if you choose to leave your bottoms on. Either way we will drape you with sheets for your privacy.”

“Oh, okay, I get it,” Bucky said, hoping he wasn’t as red as he felt, having asked. 

In the end, Steve was going au natural and Bucky left his swim trunks on and they proceeded in their robes, leaving their items in lockers and taking the keys on the wristlets provided. They were led to a room where two male masseuses had them lie down on the special tables with their faces in cushioned circles. The tables were close enough that Steve and Bucky could touch if needed. 

Bucky found the man helping him to be very accommodating and was careful to keep him covered despite having shorts on. 

“Okay, Babe,” Steve asked as they were getting started. He reached out to brush his thumb on Bucky’s right shoulder. 

“I think so,” Bucky responded honestly. His masseuse began to speak softly to him. 

“Mr. Rogers, have you ever had a massage?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky answered. “Can you tell me what you’re gonna do ahead of time, I’m a little nervous.”

“You, bet. I see you have a prosthetic arm, can I get oil on that shoulder and can I massage the scarred area?”

“Yes to both, thanks for asking,” Bucky answered. The directness was soothing to him. He felt like the guy was very professional and knew what he was doing. 

“Warm oil on my hands and I am going to start at your lower back and move upward to loosen your muscles, let me know if you want me to stop or if you’re not comfortable.”

Bucky reached out blindly to Steve, without success, as the man started to rub his warm, soft hands from the top of his shorts to his shoulders and back down in long fluid motions. Bucky should have been relaxing but he tensed with each pass. He lifted his head to glance over to where Steve was and heard Steve begin to moan as his own massage began. 

Hearing Steve make those noises felt far too personal. Bucky tried to relax for a few minutes but the sounds Steve made were erotic. His skin was on fire, not in a good way and his dick was not cooperating at all, filling with each moan that emerged from his new husband. Moans he had not had the chance to cause yet himself. Top that with a strange man’s hands touching him and not Steve’s, it was awkward and unsettling for him. Bucky felt himself getting harder and yet still clenching every muscle and grinding his teeth. It was not pleasant, no matter how much he tried to let it be. He tapped Steve on the shoulder. 

Steve picked his head up to see a very rigid looking Bucky. He grabbed Bucky’s hand. “Hey, hey, Buck. You’re not enjoying this are you?” 

Bucky shook his head and then the man's hands left him gently. “I’m sorry, would you like me to stop.”

“Yeah, can we have a minute alone?” Steve asked, rubbing Bucky’s shoulder. 

Steve sat up and held the sheet around his waist. Bucky did not move, embarrassed at his state of arousal. Steve seemed to figure out the problem. He smiled at Bucky.

“It’s alright, sometimes that happens. It’s just a physical response, Sweetheart. You don’t have to finish the massage. They’re not for everyone. Come on, sit up, it’s just me here.”

Bucky wrapped himself in the sheet and sat up. Steve stepped closer as Bucky explained. “I didn’t like...I don’t think I can have someone’s hands on me when I haven’t even let you touch me yet.”

“Oh, Bucky, I’m sorry. I didn’t think of that,” Steve said, leaning to kiss him. 

“Plus, Jesus Steve, you made noises that sounded like...like...I don’t want that guy’s hands to be why you make those noises.”

“What?” Steve said with a stunned smile.

“I know I don’t have any grounds to say this, but I want my hands to make you make those sounds, not that guy’s. God that sounded so petty and childish out loud,” Bucky groaned at his own words. 

“That sounded possessive Bucky Rogers. Are you jealous and possessive of me, ‘cause if you are, I might find that kind of hot.” 

“No, don’t be ridiculous,” Bucky objected just a bit too adamantly. 

“I mean, I get it. You don’t want to share all of this with the world,” Steve teased and though Bucky was glad Steve was being lighthearted about it, he didn’t like being teased.

“Alright, now you’re just being an ass Steven!” Bucky scolded in his teacher voice. 

“Oooooh the teacher voice...goes right to my-”

“That's enough, punk,” Bucky interrupted. 

Steve kissed Bucky soundly, slipping his tongue across Bucky’s red, bitten bottom lip. Bucky answered with a little swipe of his own. Then he rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I’m so bizarre.”

“Forget about it. I wanted you to relax. If you don’t find this relaxing, it’s not worth it. Let’s go, alright.”

“Thanks, Steve. You’re really a saint, you know that?”

“Nah, I’m just smitten over a certain someone.”

Steve told the waiting attendants their situation and suddenly someone who looked like a manager was there. She was dressed in a pale pink linen suit.

“Hello, I understand you didn’t want to finish the massage, is there anything I can help with?”

“Oh Jesus,” Bucky blurted out, suddenly worried about getting the employees in trouble. “It wasn’t them, it was me. I’m not so good with getting massaged. It wasn’t anyone's fault.”

“It’s okay, Bucky,” Steve said, placing a supportive hand on his back. Bucky felt like a first class asshole. 

“No, I understand that. It’s not for everyone, but Mr. Rogers had made the appointment for a relaxing afternoon and if massage is not your preference, we have lots of other things we can offer you. Would you like to see some options?”

“Sure,” Bucky said with a shrug and Steve gave him a bright toothy smile. Bucky suddenly knew what Steve looked like as a happy five year old.

The rest of the afternoon passed with Steve and Bucky getting manicures and pedicures. Bucky objected on Steve’s behalf at first, but Steve was a good sport.

“Come on, Buck, let’s do it. I bet we could both use a little work on our feet. Plus there’s a mini massage with it and that will sorta kill two birds with one stone.”

After they had perfectly groomed fingers and toes, they had facials and their beards groomed. They had their beards washed, softened, meticulously trimmed and oiled. Bucky got his hair deep conditioned as well. They’d been in side by side chairs all afternoon, holding hands and chatting. 

Bucky shared pictures of the kids having an easter egg hunt that Natasha had sent him as well as the other pictures the sub had sent. Steve loved how Bucky looked when he talked about school. Sometimes he couldn’t wait to get Bucky home to see how their lives would blend, though he didn’t want to rush their last week together. The first week had flown by so quickly. Soon he would no longer have Bucky to himself. 

He got a text from Pepper, she wanted to meet without Bucky to work on a little intimacy activity. 

“Pepper wants to meet with me, you gonna be okay here finishing if I go? We’ll meet back at the room to get ready for our dinner”

“Sure, that’s fine. Is everything okay?” Bucky sounded just a little worried.

“Fine, sweetheart. We’re just working on a surprise. I promise it will be better than the massage surprise,” Steve reassured him.

“I think it ended up working out and you go on. I think I will have them trim my hair before I go back. I’ll be good.”

“Okay,” Steve smiled and gave Bucky a warm kiss then pulled out his wallet. “See you in a few. Here is some cash to tip, alright?” 

“See you in a bit,” Bucky responded. When Steve had gone he flagged down the girl who was doing his deep condition. 

“Hey, when this is done, can you trim my hair and maybe help me do something a little fancy. It’s our one week anniversary and we’re having a nice dinner.”

“You bet, what did you have in mind?”

In the end Bucky got about an inch and a half of dead ends trimmed off and he left the spa with the top of his hair pulled back and pinned in place with the length of it falling in loose waves. She even showed him how to pull the pins easily if he wanted his hair to be fully down, later. 

“This is great, thanks for all the help. Do you know where the best club for dancing is? We haven’t been dancing yet.”

She filled him in and Bucky tipped the staff before collecting his things from the locker, getting dressed and heading back to the suite. 

*****

Steve was going back to the suite with a bag that contains a basket full of easter eggs. Some contained fruit, some candy, and some had little tasks for them to complete with one another. Pepper had put it together after Steve had told her Bucky was missing the easter activities at school. 

“It’s better if the tasks are a surprise, so don’t peek. The directions for the game are in the bag as well. Have fun with it,” Pepper said full of encouragement. 

They had discussed the afternoon and how things had changed but they still had a great time. “He did indeed say he wanted to be the one making me make those kinds of noises, I’m not lying,” Steve laughed.

“Well, that’s encouraging. Just keep nudging him forward and he will get more comfortable. He’ll start speaking up and not bottling it until he explodes or withdraws. Do you think he will mind that you changed the dinner plans without him?”

“No, he won’t care, it was my idea to begin with, so he’ll be okay with it. Thanks for everything, Pepper. I’m willing to do what it takes, I really want things to go well for us. Bucky is someone I would have been happy to have as a friend, but it’s even better that he’s a wonderful husband. 

“So are you, Steve. These things that you are working through are going to help you guys have a strong foundation. It’s not an easy road, but once get through it, you’ll be glad you did the work. I have faith that you guys are going to make it last forever. Enjoy tonight.”

Steve used his key card to get into the suite and quickly hid the eggs around the living area before jumping in the shower. It was getting close to their reservation and he wanted to be ready so Bucky could have time as well. 

*****

Bucky got back to the suite to find Steve in the shower. He glanced in the mirror and admired his hair one more time. He picked out an outfit he thought would look good and be appropriate for the evening’s activities. He waited for Steve to finish. When he heard the water turn off, he called out to Steve.

“Hey, I’m back, but I don’t want you to see me til I’m dressed, so can you not look at me when you come out?”

“Sure? You gettin’ fancy on me, Buck?”

“Well, it’s our one week anniversary and you’re sneaking around making plans with Pepper, so I wanted to look nice,” 

Bucky felt butterflies in his stomach. A lot of the nerves he’d been feeling before were dissolving into excitement. Steve had been so understanding about the massage, maybe Bucky needed to just begin to tip toe into the physical part of their relationship. More than kissing, not all the way, kind of tip toeing. Steve made him feel warm and safe, he vowed to no longer put up unnecessary barriers between them. 

Bucky literally made Steve close his eyes and stand still until he could get the bathroom door shut and locked. He carefully tied his hair up, trying not to mess up the work he’d had done earlier and he filled up the bathtub instead of starting the shower. As soon as he was scrubbed clean and then dry, he let his hair back down and fluffed it. It still looked great. He took the time to moisturize his face and rub lotion wherever he could reach. As a final touch he sprayed cologne and then got dressed. 

He chose an outfit he originally had no intention of wearing but that Nat and Becca had insisted he buy. Now, standing before the full length mirror in the blue ankle length pants and white open neck, kurta style shirt, he knew with all of his being that they were right. The lightweight linen and the flowy tunic style top with the detailed blue stitching, in addition to his afternoon of grooming and his styled hair, made Bucky feel like he looked good. He looked _good_ . He _felt_ good…

As he opened the bathroom door, he hoped Steve would like it and not think it was too stylized. Steve was not in the bedroom but he heard him in the living area. He saw Steve before Steve saw him and he was instantly relieved. Steve wore a very similar choice of clothing, and Bucky warmed from low in his belly as he raked his eyes down his husband’s body. 

From the denim blue lightweight shirt...the snug in all the right places, yet loose fitting, to the flowy and casual, tan linen pants that hit the curve of Steve’s ass in just the right place, to the white canvas slip ons, Steve’s look said romantic beach evening. Bucky could feel his smile all the way to his ears, and honestly hoping he wasn’t drooling. 

“Hey,” Bucky called softly to Steve, who turned and, honest to God, audibly gasped when he did. Bucky felt the sweep of Steve’s eyes as he moved his gaze from Bucky’s face down to his white slip on keds. It almost felt like each piece of clothing was melting away under Steve’s travelling eyes. Bucky found he didn’t mind it one bit, though he squirmed ever so slightly under the scrutiny. 

“Bucky...Wow, just...you look beautiful,” Steve’s voice was low and rumbly as he spoke, like it came from somewhere visceral. 

He crossed the room to Bucky and took his face in his hands. Steve’s eyebrows and forehead had a way of wrinkling up like he was so happy to see something that it almost made him look sad, if that made sense. It was like he had so many feelings they didn’t know how to come out and so they just got confused and jumbled on his face. 

The way he kissed Bucky left neither of them confused...at all. It was firm and forceful, but gentle and sweet. It gave no choice while it asked for permission and Bucky was on board. He kissed back with vengeance, chasing any bit of sadness or trouble from earlier in the day and seeking all the happiness and fun that lay ahead of them that night and forever. They broke just before being desperate for breath, panting into each other’s space, meeting on a plane of sameness that bonded their hearts together. It was pure unadulterated bliss in a kiss. 

“You looky might fine yourself, there sir,” Bucky laughed when his brain went back on line. He was also glad he had on compression shorts under his lightweight linen pants, or else the whole of Antigua would soon know his dick was functioning on point as well. Steve had clearly not thought that part through and Bucky could see a _situation_ developing. 

He pulled Steve’s hips towards his and ground them together. “If we’re gonna go out and have a good time, you’re gonna need something more than boxers under these incredible pants, dontcha think?”

“Yeah, this is not my normal choice and I see how they could be a problem. How come you haven't got one?”

“You clearly have not gone clubbing in quite some time, have you?”

Steve laughed, “No I have not, you’ve got me there.”

“Compression shorts are a clubbers best friend. Get your grind on without embarrassing yourself, if you know what I mean. Do you have a white pair with you? If not, I do and you can probably fit in mine for a night.”

“You sure they won’t be too hot?”

“Nope, plus they absorb a lot of sweat and I feel like this material is gonna show a lot of sweat if I get my way and get you to one of the clubs later after dinner.”

“Dancing? You saw me at the wedding. I saw _you_ at the wedding. I’m not sure I know how to do that kind of dancing,” Steve voiced a little concern.

Bucky pulled their hips closer again and swayed them together, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder as he whispered into his neck, “That’s because we haven’t danced together like that. Just you wait, one or two quick lessons, and you’ll be a pro. It’s really fun.”

“Then I am going to need those compression shorts,” Steve practically growled back. “And a whole lotta drinks!”

While Steve was digging through his drawer to find the shorts he needed, he was still caught up thinking about how good Bucky looked tonight. Bucky always looked good, but tonight he looked gorgeous, the blue of his pants matching his perfectly blue eyes, the loose top and his incredible hair. Jesus, Steve did not realize he had a long hair kink until he met Bucky. Just slipping his fingers through those waves was enough to make him never want to leave their room again. 

He wanted to touch and taste and take Bucky apart. The fact that they were not there yet was not a problem for Steve. They would get there, but if Bucky was hinting at dancing with Steve like he did his girlfriends at the wedding, Steve would put on his compression shorts and take what he could get. Touching Bucky in any capacity would be enough for Steve until Bucky was really ready. 

He pulled on his shorts and then put his pants back on, adjusting himself. Bucky was right, with the shorts on you could not tell he was hard and he would save himself a lot of embarrassment. Bring on the grinding. But first, Steve had some romance for them both. 

“Good advice, Buck,” Steve chuckled, half grateful, half embarrassed. “Ready for dinner?”

“Yeah, but what are all the easter eggs for?” Bucky asked with a curious squint. 

“You didn’t touch them, did you? They’re a surprise for later.”

“Nope I didn’t touch, just wondered.”

Steve offered Bucky his elbow and winked. “You’ll have to wait a bit, but I think you’ll like it.”

Bucky took the offered arm and gave it a squeeze. “Lead on husband, I’m hungry.”

They walked along the path from the suite towards the restaurant they chose for dinner, however instead of going in, Steve led them past it towards the beach. Beyond the lights of the bustle, Bucky saw a pergola draped in white linen and glowing with fairy lights. Steve led him to a beautifully set table and pulled out a chair for him.

“Steve, this is really special. Thank you for this,” Bucky said as he leaned up for a kiss. 

“Special things for special people, sweetheart. I hope you don’t mind that I set the menu and we are going to have some things the chef chooses for us.”

“No way, that’s exciting. I’ve seen that on the food network. This is fun, I don’t like raw fish though, not a sushi guy, hope that’s okay.”

Steve laughed aloud, a hardy, belly laugh. “No worries, I’m not either. Lots of grilled stuff, nothing raw, promise.”

Dinner was delicious, grilled shrimp, crab cakes, grilled veggies, coconut rice and lots of wine. Halfway through dinner, Steve moved to sit closer to Bucky instead of across the table and they finished the meal, thighs touching and sharing soft kisses and bites of pineapple rum cake. 

“Why don’t we go walk the beach for a bit,” Steve suggested. He offered Bucky a hand and was pleasantly surprised when Bucky threaded their fingers together. Steve took it as a sign that they were getting closer with each passing day. 

The waves were soothing and they used the time to let their food settle. Steve brought them to a stop and brought Bucky’s hand to his mouth to kiss it warmly. Bucky settled into Steve’s chest, firm and warm, solid and yet made perfectly for Bucky to rest on. They stood in before the massive ocean, waves breaking and the moonlight reflecting. It was a picture perfect moment. 

“Hey Bucky, I want to tell you something.”

“Sure, what is it?” Bucky said looking up to meet his eyes. 

Steve cradled his hand on the back of Bucky’s head and pressed their lips together, sliding his tongue in gently and deepening the kiss, adjusting and recapturing Bucky’s mouth again and again. When the kiss ended, Steve held Bucky tightly and let out a long sigh. He hoped it wasn’t too early to say anything, but his heart was so full. 

“What is it, Steve, you alright?”

“Buck, I am so much more than alright. I just...this past week has meant so much to me. I just want to tell you, and I know it might be early, but Jesus, I need to say this, I want you to know that I love you. I really love you.”

Bucky was stunned. He felt Steve was attracted to him. He was definitely attracted to Steve and he knew he loved Steve, but to hear it for the first time was mind blowing and Bucky’s heart just pounded in his chest. 

“Steve…” In his excitement, Bucky could simply not coordinate his mind and mouth to formulate a response. 

Steve seemed to backpedal a little, “It’s okay, Bucky, you don’t have to say anything. I hope you don’t think you have-”

Bucky shook his head. “Steve, don’t. It’s not that. I’m just so...oh my God, I love you, too.”

“You do? Really?” Steve asked, almost incredulously.

“Fuck. Yes, Steve. I’m as gone as you are. I-I know it’s only been a week. Oh my God, we’ve been married for a week!” Bucky laughed aloud, baffled by his self actualization. “And, and listen... I know there’s been a rough spot or two...but I kind of like waking up to you everyday.”

Steve lifted Buck y, easily, despite his stockiness, and spun him around as they laughed together, exhilarated in their mutual declarations. For two people who had been lonely for so long, it was a moment filled with incredible joy.  Bucky held Steve’s face like the precious gift that it was and pressed their foreheads together, enjoying the significance of evening. 

Setting Bucky down on his feet, Steve kissed him, a little too eagerly, and with a clash of front teeth. “Oh shit, sorry, Buck.”

“I’m not sorry, not in the least,” Bucky said, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist. “Let’s go dancing? Do you wanna dance with me? Let everybody know how happy we are and that we’re having the best time ever?”

Steve’s heart overflowed at Bucky’s invitation. He also felt a little possessive. He wanted everyone to know that he was Bucky’s and Bucky was  _ his _ . “Lead on, Bucky. I can’t wait!”

They ended up walking to the dance club the girl at the spa had recommended. They could hear it before they saw it. As they got closer, they found it was an outdoor dance floor on the beach with a charismatic dj and more twinkle lights giving off the perfect glow. 

“This is fucking awesome, Steve. We’re gonna have a good time. Let’s start with the bar. Can’t dance if you don’t loosen up,” Bucky yelled over the music.

“Thank, fuck, I’m gonna have to be drunk to get out there with all these young people,” Steve laughed. 

Bucky pushed their way to the bar as the music throbbed in the air. Luckily, Steve and Bucky made quite an impression and the bartender made his way to them quickly. He put up two fingers and shouted lemon drop at the top of his lungs. They guy nodded and Bucky pulled Steve close and already began to move to the music. 

Steve hooked an arm around Bucky’s waist and held him tight despite the heat of crush of bodies. Bucky handed him a tall skinny shot glass and held a finger up or Steve to wait. Bucky licked the rim, took the shot and bit the lemon wedge in his teeth. Steve was instantly glad he’d worn the compression shorts. Bucky motioned to him and Steve let go of his gorgeous husband log enough to mimic his action with the shot glass. Vodka with lemon and sugar, not salt as he had thought. 

Bucky nodded eagerly, as if to ask if Steve liked it. He did, so he nodded back. Steve watched as Bucky turned back to the bar and put up two more fingers, Steve reached in his pocket and gave Bucky a bill to tip the bartender. Bucky kissed Steve on the mouth, this side of filthy and Steve thought he might have just had an epiphany that the dance floor might be a place where Bucky felt at home. 

After the second shot, Bucky looked towards the dance floor and Steve motioned for Bucky to lead the way. Bucky looked relaxed and confident and beautiful. He drew people's attention to him immediately. It was the hottest thing Steve had ever seen and the person doing it was married to him. Christ, he might just die of happiness. 

Once on the dance floor, the music surrounded them and it vibrated into their bodies and the bodies around them. They were packed so close, dancing was really just moving and Steve found it easy. With the shots starting to do their work, Steve just kept Bucky close and moved with him. Steve was mesmerised as Bucky swayed his hips, gyrating and bouncing their bodies together in a rhythm that was easy for Steve to follow.  He honestly didn’t know what was better, the feel of Bucky’s firm muscular body grinding and rubbing on every inch of Steve’s or the fact that he knew more than half the people on the dance floor were watching their every move and more than likely green with envy of Steve’s literal position. 

Bucky shouted in his ear, “You’re a great dancer, Stevie!” 

Steve didn’t know what enamored him to the beautiful man more, the sexy dancing or the fact that Bucky’d called him Stevie. He grabbed Bucky by the back of the neck and kissed him thoroughly, fuck everyone around them. He tasted of lemon and sweat.  Their beards brushed together as the movement of the crowd pinned them closer and closer.  He slotted a thigh between Bucky’s and gave him something to grind against. Bucky’s eyes darkened and he reached up to his hair and pulled out the pins, shaking his hair loose. Steve nearly came in his pants right then and there. 

Steve recognized older club music. It must have been 80’s night or something. They danced to Push It, by Salt and Pepa, Pump up the Jam, Kiss by Prince, Come on Eileen and quite a few more. Steve found himself having a great time.  They danced back to the bar for a short break  and another shot. Steve got a bottle of water and they split it. He went back to the bar on his own a few times to get them water, he didn’t want them to get dehydrated or have hangovers. They’d found two of the other couples and so he left Bucky dancing when he went for the water.

One trip back to the bar, he rested for a few minutes, they’d been going almost non-stop for three hours. Steve was pleasantly surprised  at how fast the time had passed.  He especially loved watching his husband dance with t he other couples from the show. He looked so carefree, grinning from ear to ear. 

Out of nowhere, a couple of guys pushed into the circle Bucky and the girls were dancing in. They were clearly there for Bucky. His husband’s body language was courteous but it was clear he was refusing them. Steve never took his eyes off of Bucky but gave him a chance to take care of the situation himself.  They weren’t listening and as they got closer, Bucky’s body language changed significantly. Steve could see that Bucky was okay but was looking for him, looking for a way out. Steve raised his hand over his head in the hopes that Bucky could see he was coming. 

Steve stormed through the crowd and made his way to Bucky, pulling him close with an arm around his middle as he slammed his open palm into the first man’s chest.

“Back the fuck up, asshole.” he bellowed into the man’s face as his hand sent him flying into the crowd. 

He heard Bucky shout, “I told you I was married.  Now my husband is pissed!”

Steve eyeballed the second guy who backed up on his own. Bucky looked at Steve with a heated gaze and put a hand to Steve’s face, brushing his thumb on Steve’s perfectly groomed beard. 

“You alright, Buck?” Steve asked, leaning into his ear so he could hear, arm still protectively around his waist. . 

Bucky nodded, flaming with the delicious heat of being rescued by Steve.  Steve, who had come in like a freight train and now stood holding him possessively, yet gently. Suddenly, Bucky’d had enough dancing for one night. They were still pressed in by the crowd and it was hard to hear because of the music, but Bucky smiled and made himself heard.

“Stevie, let’s go, get me outta here.” Steve nodded to Bucky. He slipped his arm around Bucky’s back, and bent to grab under Bucky’s knees, lifting his husband effortlessly, an officer and a gentleman style, and elbowed his way through the cheering crowd who had watched the whole scene unfold. 

Bucky leaned his head on Steve’s shoulder, but pumped his fist and shouted, “ My husband!”  as they left the dance floor.

Steve never put Bucky down, carried him all the way to their suite, nuzzling him affectionately to be sure he was okay. Bucky found he didn’t feel small or minimized, or like Steve was treating him like he couldn’t take care of himself. Bucky felt loved and protected, and he felt worthy and valuable in a way he had not in a long time. He mattered to Steve and he would make sure Steve felt valued and worthy, and that he mattered unequivocally to Bucky. And he would start tonight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What on earth could happen next chapter????


	10. Time's a Wastin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Happy Easter a little early, and Happy anniversary. There are two dozen eggs for you to find.”  
> Bucky giggled, the tail end of the shots from earlier in the evening just working out of his system. “Really?”  
> Steve nodded. “You said you were missing all the Easter fun as school, so I brought a little of it to you. Although, a little more mature, I hope you don’t mind…”  
> “What’s in these eggs?” Bucky asked coyly.  
> Steve raised an eyebrow...just one. “Don’t you want to know? Hunt and then we’ll open them together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by saying that I had rushed the end of the last chapter in an anxious need to post. Therefore when I reread it, I was incredible unhappy. I made some changes that I think were better suited to the characters. The changes I made begin at the beach scene after dinner. Please go back and read that final portion before continuing here. Much appreciated. I did not feel that my first pass had done Bucky much justice.
> 
> Secondly, we are gonna make our rating tonight. No beta, just my vanilla smut and silly boys...Hope you enjoy. I have never written safe words before. Steve gives Bucky a safe word system and only by miscommunication Bucky uses it. Nothing bad happens. Just an FYI.
> 
> Also, updated tags a bit.

Steve swiped the key to open the door and carried Bucky over the threshold. A surge of electricity passed through Bucky as Steve manhandled him, lighting him up from the inside, warm and glowing, not cold like lightning. Steve righted Bucky to his feet and walked them to the living area of the suite. He handed Bucky a basket. An Easter basket.

“Happy Easter a little early, and Happy anniversary. There are two dozen eggs for you to find.”

Bucky giggled, the tail end of the shots from earlier in the evening just working out of his system. “Really?”

Steve nodded. “You said you were missing all the Easter fun as school, so I brought a little of it to you. Although, a little more mature, I hope you don’t mind…”

“What’s in these eggs?” Bucky asked coyly.

Steve raised an eyebrow...just one. “Don’t you want to know? Hunt and then we’ll open them together.”

Bucky took the basket and darted around the room plucking eggs from their hiding places and laughing as Steve watched and chuckled to himself. When he thought he had them all, Steve helped him count and then gave Bucky a soft, open mouthed kiss. 

“Come on, let’s go into the bedroom,” Steve coaxed. Bucky found himself going willingly, feeling very little apprehension and a healthy helping of adventure. 

Bucky held onto one of Steve’s hips and followed comically close in his footsteps. Steve set the basket on the bed. 

“Let’s rinse off in the shower, and get out of these goddamn compression shorts so we can relax. How’s that sound?”

“Just rinse off?” Bucky asked looking up through his eyelashes.

“Yep, just to get the sweat off of us. after all, have eggs to open,” Steve teased. 

They stepped into the bathroom and Steve started the shower as Bucky began to shuck his sweaty clothes. There was a part of Bucky that was still self conscious of getting naked with Steve, but Steve  _ loved _ him. Steve told him so, and Bucky could get used to being naked with someone who loved him like Steve did. 

Bucky turned to find Steve naked and offering his hand. “Hang on one second, Steve, I don’t want to have wet hair,” Bucky said, turning to the drawer by the sink and retrieving his brush and a hair tie. He began to brush his hair back when he felt Steve’s hands take the brush.

“Do you mind if I do it for you?” Steve asked, voice husky.

Bucky looked over his shoulder bashfully at Steve, and then held his head still as Steve brushed long strokes and gathered them in his fist. It was the most erotic feeling Bucky had ever experienced, each stroke of the brush causing him to feel more aroused. He wasn’t sure how to deal with that when he realized Steve must have felt the same way. He knew because Steve’s hardness bumped his hip. He startled at the touch. 

Steve leaned in and whispered into his ear, “It's alright, Buck. Just means we feel good. No big deal, huh?”

Bucky smiled to himself and then answered back with a little playfulness, “I don’t know, feels like a pretty big deal to me.”

Steve chuckled, a low rumble, and pulled him gently closer by the ponytail he’s gathered, pressing his cock into Bucky’s hip. “You like that, eh? Better put your hair up, ‘fore I lose it all.”

Bucky popped his hair into a quick bun and wrapped the elastic hair tie in place. He turned and put his arms around Steve’s waist, gasping as their erections brushed together. 

True to his word, Steve kept his hands to himself in the shower where they soaped up and rinsed all the sweat off. They left the bathroom with only towels around their waists and Steve pulled two thick white terry robes from the closet. 

“Slip into this, sweetheart,” he said softly. Bucky did, finding it hid his hardness pretty well, and noticed that there was a chilling bottle of champagne by the bedside. Steve hung their towels in the bathroom and returned in his robe. 

“Should we pop that?” Bucky asked with a smile, nodding towards the champagne. 

“I think we should, and while we do, I’ll explain the little game I have planned,” Steve winked as he grabbed the bottle and began to remove the foil.

Once he popped the cork and poured two flutes for them, they clinked glasses. “Happy one week anniversary, Bucky...Bucky  _ Rogers _ .”

They sipped and then Bucky leaned in for a kiss, a deep hungry kiss that curled his toes. They climbed on the bed and Steve put the basket between them. They were leaning back against the headboard, legs extended out, pressed together at the shoulders. 

“This basket full of eggs has some treats in it. You get to open one and I get to open one. Some have fruit in them, some have candy, and some have other kinds of treats that we can share,” Steve explained.

“Oh really?” Bucky asked curiously. 

“Yes, really, but you don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable with, you can pass as many times as you like. I just thought if we made a game out of it, getting to know each other physically wouldn’t be so scary or serious. Do you know what I mean?”

Bucky’s heart swelled in his chest at the idea that Steve would be concerned about Bucky’s feelings.. “I think I do. Only one way to find out, though...I better pick an egg.” His voice was raspy, hardly sounding like his own. Bucky was not drunk from the three shots of vodka he’d had much earlier or the sips of champagne. He was drunk on Steve Rogers...his  _ husband _ .

Bucky grabbed a blue egg and opened it. It had fresh pineapple in it. Steve said, “You have to feed that to me?”

“But it’s my egg!” Bucky protested, but he took the chunk in his fingers and offered it to Steve, who opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around Bucky’s fingers as he took the fruit. Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut as Steve’s tongue brushed against his fingertips. 

“Now my turn,” Steve said with the tone of someone who knew exactly what he had done to Bucky. 

Steve grabbed a yellow egg and opened his and it had papaya in it. Bucky caught on quickly and mustering up a little bravado, he took the papaya from Steve’s fingers. Unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, it was very slippery and it ended up sliding into his mouth with a sucking motion. Steve reacted with a rather gutteral sound escaping his throat. Bucky gave him a minute to get his brain back online before choosing another egg. 

They sipped champagne and slowly fed each other treats until Bucky finally pulled the first light feeling egg, There was no fruit or candy in that one for sure. It contained a strip of paper that said:

_ Each of you touch the other’s chest.  _

Bucky flushed from head to toe, ready to complete the task but not sure exactly how to proceed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t hugged Steve shirtless, or laid snuggled with him. He’d touched Steve’s chest,  _ his magnificently sculpted chest _ , like that...as a natural byproduct of another action, but he’d never just reached out and  _ touched _ because he could. 

Steve helped by taking the champagne flutes and putting them on the side table. Then he shrugged his shoulders out of his robe so it fell down by his elbows. He moved to touch the collar of Bucky’s robe, but stopped, looking into Bucky’s eyes. Bucky realized Steve was looking for permission. Bucky nodded and Steve slid the robe to Bucky’s elbows, as well. They both sat bare chested and breathing a little harder than before.

“You first, Buck?”

Bucky shook his head. “You first.” Bucky needed a little more courage before he could complete the task and he needed what was covered under the lap of his robe to calm down or he was going to embarrass himself very quickly. 

Steve smiled, chest rising and falling quicker by the second and he nodded once at Bucky as if to reassure him. Then Steve’s hand came up to cup Bucky’s left pec, the one by his scars. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath and Steve made eye contact to check in. Bucky’s breathing went wild. Goosebumps ghosted along his skin at the thought of Steve’s touch.. 

Steve had the broadest hands and long fingers. The backs of those fingers began to brush along the skin of Bucky’s chest along the scars of his arm, up to his collar bone and across the hollow of his throat to the other side and down. Then those wonderful, gentle fingers brushed across his nipple and Bucky couldn’t help the whine that escaped his throat. 

“Okay, Buck?” Steve checked in. Bucky nodded a slight nod, the only movement he could manage as his muscles had locked. Bucky knew he had sensitive nipples. He played with them all the time when he jerked off, but Steve touching was a different level of ecstasy. 

Thrilled with the response from Bucky, Steve continued his trail of soft touches back to where he started, brushing over the other nipple, relishing the keening sound Bucky made as he did. 

“So responsive, sweetheart, you like that?” he asked. Bucky nodded and tried desperately to focus both his eyes together. “Your turn, now,” Steve added. 

“Can I have a kiss?” Bucky asked, needing to ground himself just a bit. 

Steve cradled Bucky’s face with one hand, looking concerned. “Sure,” Steve said just before taking Bucky’s mouth and seeking entrance with a gentle swipe of his tongue. Bucky responded by opening his lips and at the same time reaching out to put a hand flat on Steve’s massive chest. Steve groaned into the touch, making the sound directly in Bucky’s mouth. 

Bucky grabbed Steve’s chest involuntarily, it was an awkward angle because his flesh hand was closer to Steve and he had thought it better to start with it rather than his metal one. Bucky was shaky from the rush of endorphins that came with getting to touch and be touched by this gorgeous man who was his husband and suddenly he knew what he wanted...well sort of...and he moved.

Steve suddenly found himself with a lap full of Bucky. He grunted at the shift of positions, surprised, though pleasantly, and he wrapped his arms around Bucky to pull him closer on his lap. 

“Everything alright, Sweetheart?” he asked Bucky who was trembling and staring at him with eyes the size of dinner plates, though much darker.

Bucky nodded. He swallowed and found his voice. “I think I don’t need- I mean I appreciate the game, but I think I know why you wanted to play it, but I think- maybe-” 

Steve watched, unsure, as Bucky sucked in a deep breath. “Hey, Buck, it’s alright. You’re alright. We don’t have to play-”

“No, let me finish, please,” Bucky insisted. “I want more than the game, but not everything. Does that make sense?”

Steve's face split into a wide smile. He was so happy Bucky was communicating what he wanted. “It totally does, Buck. Can you just be a little more specific for me. What do you need from me tonight? Huh, what do you want, baby?”

Bucky whined at the use of the endearment and he pressed their foreheads together. He was on Steve’s lap, but there was space between their bodies so they weren’t touching, not yet anyway. Bucky was nervous, but he wanted. He  _ wanted _ .

“I want to feel good. I want you to make me feel good and I want to make you feel good, too.”

“Oh Jesus, Buck. I want that, too. Fuck, do I want that, too.” He pulled Bucky’s hips closer and they both cried out as their groins met, both hard and aching. Bucky’s hips rolled, involuntary, if the shudder that came from him was any indication. 

“ _ Steve...please,”  _ Bucky moaned as he kissed him open mouthed and messy with desire. 

“Okay, Buck, but I want to set a few ground rules, for us first.”

“Rules?,” Bucky panted.

Steve nodded, “Yeah sweetheart. I want you to tell me for sure when you don’t like something. Easiest way to do that is a traffic light, Green means go, red means stop. Yellow means slow down. If you say red, I will stop immediately. If you say yellow we will talk about it a little. Will that work?”

Bucky nodded. 

“One more thing.” 

Bucky whined when Steve kept talking. Steve could tell Bucky was eager to move on, but Steve needed to say one final thing. 

“Bucky, I love you and I want us to have fun, make each other happy. But I want to wait till we go home to...well, to go all the way.”

Bucky laughed out loud. “What are we, teenagers? Go all the way?”

“Don’t laugh at me when I am trying to be a gentleman, Buck. It’s not very nice.” Steve said with a crooked smile. “But I really want to save that for home. I want to have you like that for the first time in our own bed, if that’s okay with you.”

“I think that’s perfect and I think you are very romantic. All the more reason to love you, Steve.”

Steve was really a softie at heart. In just one week he had shown Bucky that he was a good man, a gentle soul...and now he had proven himself a total romantic. Bucky was very much on board, and though he would not admit it out loud, he really wanted Steve to get a move on. Bucky might be inexperienced, but he was a quick learner and a horny twenty-nine year old with a lot of time to make up. 

“Good, now where were we,” Steve said seductively, planting a downright filthy kiss on Bucky.

Bucky groaned, sounds leaving him involuntarily as Steve lit his skin on fire, one kiss at at time. The first time Steve took one of his nipples in an open mouthed kiss, Bucky wailed without even realizing it. 

“ _ Steeeve _ !”

Steve’s breaths were ragged as he reached for Bucky’s face to check in again. “Bucky, you alright? Open your eyes. Color sweetheart.”

“Fucking green. Like right from Ireland, big fields of fucking grass green. Jesus! Do whatever that was again…” Steve sort of half snorted, clearly amused by Bucky’s reaction. 

“Alrighty there, eager, huh?” he commented before going right back to Bucky’s chest and enveloping the other nipple in an equally wet kiss and firm suck. He lavished his attention to every inch of Bucky’s skin, careful when he got skittish as Steve kissed each raised scar and mottled discoloration near his prosthetic arm.

“Beautiful, Bucky...every inch of you is gorgeous.”

Bucky struggled a bit at first, but he willed himself to relax and accept that Steve was honest and he meant what he said. It just seemed unreal that someone could accept Bucky, disfigurement and all. But this was Steve, his Steve...and so Bucky let go. 

He let go of the heartache of loneliness, of rejection, of self doubt, and of his self consciousness. He gave it up in sound after sound as Steve continued to spread his love with searing hot kisses and nips up and down Bucky’s torso. 

When Bucky finally regained his motor skills, he began to return those hot kisses, claiming Steve as real estate of his own, marking him without really marking him, tasting the taut lines of his neck, shoulders, collar bones, the hollow of Steve’s neck... and working up the courage to get his mouth on the faux marble that was Steven Rogers’ chest. 

When Bucky finally got his lips wrapped around one of Steve’s nipples, it ripped a deep guttural groan from the man and Bucky took the hint and sucked, first one side, then slipped his wet lips to the other until he thought they both might come in their robes. Bucky knew he liked to touch himself on the chest, but tonight answered any questions he may have had about whether or not he had a thing for nipples. He did. He most certainly did. 

He was so worked up, with his mouth on Steve’s chest that he didn’t realize he was trying to rip the robe off his husband. “Off, Jesus, get this fucking thing off.”

“Hang on, Buck, hang on,” Steve said with a raspy laugh. “That goes for you, too.” 

They both knelt in the center of the bed, naked, robes thrown to the floor, eyes locked, fully aroused and chests heaving as they panted. Bucky couldn’t help but look down, and he swallowed with a loud click from his throat. Holy fuck, Steve was huge, and perfect. For a dick it was beautiful.

Steve laid Bucky down on the pillows and settled between his thighs, pressing their lengths together. “This okay?” 

“Fuck, totally. What should I do?” Bucky asked, suddenly feeling nervous. He trusted Steve but he was now in uncharted waters for himself. 

“Just relax and kiss me, touch me, do what you want to do, Buck, no right or wrong here.”

Steve bracketed Bucky with his arms and began to rock his hips into Bucky’s. They kissed and Bucky’s hands stroked up and down Steve’s body. He felt his back as Steve’s muscles rippled. He found himself feeling courageous and grabbing Steve’s ass as it clenched and thrusted their rock hard cocks together. 

Bucky now knew what people meant when they said they became jello on the inside. It wasn’t perfect with every push, sometimes it pinched, but he was just getting the hang of it when Steve rolled off and said, “Hang on a sec, I’m gonna get the lube.” 

Bucky jolted and every muscle that had been relaxed locked up tight and not in a good way. He didn’t think Steve was going to do that until he got home and he saw red, bright scary red.

“Red, red, red!” he called out, pulling a pillow over himself. 

“Hey, hey, hey, now,” Steve soothed as Bucky curled in on himself. Jesus, Steve realized what he had just done, obviously not being clear in his intentions. “No, Buck. Listen...it’s not for that.”

“What’s it for then?” Bucky asked, still out of breath and from what Steve could see, still aroused. 

“To make it slippery when we grind. Like when you jerk off, you know?”

“Oh,” Bucky. “No, but I guess?”

Steve was stunned. Was Bucky admitting what Steve thought he was admitting?

“Bucky, please tell me you’ve jerked off with lube before,” and maybe that came out a little harsher than he meant it to.

Bucky’s shoulder shrug told the story.

“Can I come closer, can I hold you, sweetheart?”

Bucky nodded. Steve curled into Bucky’s side and laid his arm across Bucky’s chest. He smoothed Bucky’s hair back from his face and smiled at him. “I’m sorry I startled you, Buck. I just assumed you could tell our skin was catching and that I was gonna get the lube to help with that. If you want to stop, we can.”

Bucky’s heart rate and panic was subsiding. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to keep going. “I want to keep going but I’m yellow.”

“Okay, good for you. Listen, when we were having fun back there, and it was kind of good, but sometimes it pinched or pulled? A little lube will fix that. You game?”

Bucky nodded. 

“Okay, I’m gonna grab a towel and then I’m gonna rock your lubeless world, babe. Just you wait.”

Bucky lay on the bed, a little self conscious but curious and fucking hard. When Steve returned with a towel, he pulled Bucky off the bed, turned down the bedding, laid out the towel and motioned for Bucky to lay on it. 

“The towel is so there’s no wet spot after. Not so romantic, but neither is a wet spot,” Steve said as he climbed on the bed and lay next to Bucky. “I’m sorry I spooked you, maybe I ruined the mood.”

Bucky was twenty nine years old and he’d waited long enough to have fun. He picked up his husband’s hand and put it on his own chest. 

“Well now, maybe I  _ haven’t  _ spoiled the night,” Steve chuckled and they picked up where they had left off. It did not take long before Bucky was seeking friction by raising his hips. 

“Steve,” he whined. Fuck it, yeah he whined. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded. “I’m gonna touch you with some lube in my hand, okay?” Bucky sucked in a sharp breath and nodded again. 

He heard the snick of a bottle opening and then the snap of it being shut, Steve tossed something up by the pillows and then began to kiss Bucky tenderly, deepening it with each pass of lips. 

Bucky’s back bowed clear off the bed when Steve’s open wet hand pressed Bucky’s cock into his belly. 

“Okay?” Steve asked.

“Greeeen,” Bucky moaned obscenely. 

Steve’s hand encircled Bucky’s cock and stroked. Bucky’s brain went offline and his mouth began to spew things he could not be held responsible for. 

“Fuck, Steve, Christ, fuck, Jesus, God, holy shit…” 

Bucky felt Steve lay on top of him and nearly cried at the loss of Steve’s hand from his hardness. Then Steve moved their hips together and Bucky saw stars. Steve slid Bucky down slightly, easily maneuvering him where he wanted him. Steve loomed over Bucky, his shoulders blocking the overhead lighting. Steve devoured his mouth and Bucky  _ let  _ him. Steve slid their hips together over and over and Bucky was gone.

The slippery feel of their lengths moving together was more than Bucky could take. Instinctively, he lifted and opened his knees, giving Steve access and earning him a lascivious moan. 

“Baby, Jesus, I knew you’d like this, but letting me in like that, wait till I get you home to fuck you sweet thing,” and Bucky nearly blacked out. Steve could do things with that dirty mouth. Bucky felt good, he felt at home, he felt that tell tale coil building deep in his core...he wanted to come. 

“What’s that, baby? You wanna come? You go ahead and come, you come whenever you want, alright, sweet thing…”

Bucky must have said that aloud. “Fuck yes, Stevie, please, I wanna come. Harder, make me come.”

Steve continued to grind their cocks together deliciously and Bucky met his thrusts by raising his hips, hands full of Steve’s glorious ass, giving as good as he got.

“Buck, I swear to God, I’m not gonna make it much longer like this. I think I’ve released the Kraken. Fuck, I knew you’d be all kinds of fun, and so so sweet. Come on baby, come for me…” 

The coil that had been building in Bucky’s belly found it’s way out and he cried out as he came hard enough to see nothing but a flash of white and to hear Steve grunt and groan his own release. It was the most intense orgasm of Bucky’s life. It was perfect because it was with Steve and Steve loved him. 

“I love you, I love you,” Bucky cried into Steve’s shoulder, clinging to him, hips still grinding and legs still tight around his waist. 

“Oh, Buck...my sweet Bucky, I love you, too. I love you, too…” 

Steve just held him and held him, until Bucky calmed. Steve kissed him gently wiping the tears from his cheeks, asking, “You alright there, Buck?’

Bucky nodded. “Oh yeah. Boy, do I want to do that again.”

Steve laughed and kissed Bucky once more. “Well, I’m 39 and you’re gonna have to wait a bit, Buck. But we’ve got lots of time, lots of time, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, but I’m so pissed,” Bucky grumbled.    
  
“Why’s that, Buck?”

“We coulda been doing that for a whole fucking week!” 

Steve laughed his rich hearty belly laugh and squeezed Bucky tight before getting up to get a warm washcloth to help Bucky clean up. He rolled up the towel and they curled up in bed, Steve as the big spoon. 

“I love you, Steve.”

“I love you, too, Bucky. Happy one week anniversary.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, you know I love to hear your thoughts...


	11. Just a Final Day in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things must come to an end and the honeymoon is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you sticking with me on this. We are heading home to marital bliss...

Steve had dated people for far longer than he’d known Bucky and never even thought about saying those three words. Yet here he was on his honeymoon, lying in bed next to his sleeping husband of almost two weeks, the same husband to whom he’d said _I love you_ after having known him for just one week. 

_One week._ If any of his friends had called him after one week and said they loved the person they were dating, he would have driven to their location, dragged them out by their collar, and talked some sense into them. 

Steve registered the hypocrisy that it had only been a short time, but he could not deny that he loved Bucky. He knew it in the simple happenings of day to day. Steve welled with emotion every time he looked at Bucky, or even thought about Bucky. When Bucky was happy and smiling, Steve was alive in a way he had never experienced. He’d waited so long to find this, to have a partner he was comfortable with no matter the circumstance.

Being with Bucky was vastly different than his other relationships. It wasn’t just that they were married, but of course that was a factor. It was a multifaceted attraction for Steve. They had their similarities in routine for sure, a shared affinity for health and wellness but also a love for pizza and beer that increased their compatibility and made Steve chuckle as they both pined for a good pie on this trip. 

Bucky was handsome, caring, seasoned about the realities of the world, and yet innocent about life in a way that was refreshing to Steve. The harshness of the hand life had dealt him had not spoiled Bucky’s willingness to be happy and to see the good in the world around him. He was not poisoned with as much cynicism as Steve and that was something Steve needed. 

Steve felt protective of Bucky. He wanted to shelter him from any more pain in his life, he could look at Bucky with his arm and scars and see that his husband had experienced enough of that. So when Bucky revealed his virginity, Steve wanted to reassure Bucky that they had plenty of time to get to know each other and ease into their intimacy. Steve had worked with Pepper on ways to to just that and the egg hunt had helped to show Bucky that sex was not some monumentous hill, just fun between two people who cared for each other. 

Bucky had other plans than being protected by Steve. He’d grabbed the bull by the proverbial horns and charged forward, eager to try new things and Steve reaped the benefits. Physically, Steve’s nerve endings ignited when he touched his husband, or better yet, when Bucky’s fingers even so much as brushed against Steve’s skin. Just thinking of Bucky, this handsome man with whom he had so many things in common, being his husband, evoked this overwhelming flood of mine, happiness, companionship. 

There were lots of explorations in the few days after they’d broken through Bucky’s inexperience barrier. Steve had joked about releasing the Kraken, but in a manner of speaking, they had. Bucky was almost touch starved in his sexual awakening journey, a fact which he gladly owned up to and did not really regret, other than comical regret of the loss of time in their first week. Steve was happy to oblige, happy to watch Bucky’s physical pleasure bloom, even happier to savor the fruits of his enlightenment. 

Bucky and Steve were on the same page for most aspects of their life and Steve was relieved that sex felt similar. Once Bucky had actually come a couple of times in front of Steve, his inhibitions seemed to melt away. They’d even gone back to try the couple's massage and Steve also noticed that when their sunscreen ran out, Bucky bought the kind you applied by hand, not the spray. 

Bucky was still a little bashful at times, but not skittish or jumpy. They had intense passion, but they also laughed in bed together. They were sticking to their plan of waiting for the main event until they go back to Boston, but they certainly had a lot of fun in the meantime. 

The remaining time Steve and Bucky had together in Antigua flew by in a blur of island activities, souvenir shopping, and falling into bed to scratch the itch that was their new found sex life. 

“Can you believe we have to leave tomorrow?” Bucky asked Steve, sadness dripping into his voice. 

Steve smiled at Bucky as they lay in bed contemplating getting up for their last day on the island. 

With a devilish tone Steve said, “The second week went by much faster than the first. Wonder why that is…” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Steven,” Bucky feigned indignation. 

“Oh, I most certainly think you do,” Steve shot right back and then Bucky rolled on top of Steve, pinning his arms above his head. Steve sucked in a sharp breath and answered with a roll of his hips, both of them responding to the position and the implication of it. 

Steve lifted his head to meet Bucky’s lips for a devout kiss. Letting go of Steve’s arms, Bucky leaned into the kiss resting on his elbows on either side of Steve’s head, fingers slipping through Steve’s silky hair. Steve savored each pass of their lips, each lick of Bucky’s tongue into his mouth, ignoring morning breath. His hands ebbed between soft touches and firm grips of Bucky’s clothing covered flesh, unhurried and relishing the feel of being able to enjoy this with his husband. 

Steve was hard, so was Bucky, and this morning Steve wanted to taste more than Bucky’s kisses. He rolled them over, straddling Bucky, knelt back and removed his own shirt. His fingertips found the hem of Bucky’s and lifted, fingers skating his strong abdominal muscles as they twitched under his care. 

Bucky got on board and worked his shirt off over his head despite the fact that Steve had shorted his brain by latching on to a nipple and sucking fiercely. Bucky loved the attention Steve gave to his chest and equally loved that Steve enjoyed the favor being returned. Mouth still working Bucky’s peaking nipple, Steve moved his hands to the waistband of Bucky's boxer briefs. Bucky’s hands cupped the back of Steve’s head, encouraging his current endeavor. When his mouth stilled, Bucky knew Steve was looking for further permission for his hands. 

“God, yes, but keep sucking...” Bucky cried out, his abdomen clenching in anticipation of what he was sure was to come. “Please…”

It was the entreating _please_ that shot straight to Steve’s cock every time. He’d been with people who begged and implored, but with Bucky it was so sincere, so mutual, something they both wanted. 

“Oh Buck, that’s just what I wanna do, keep, sucking...but not here,“ Steve indicated his nipple with an open mouthed kiss. Steve’s mouth kissed a trail down Bucky’s belly, placing a dirty tongue heavy kiss to each little rectangle, inhaling deeply as he reached the dark trail of hair marking the way to his goal. “Wanna suck down here, if that’s okay.”

Steve had never sucked Bucky’s cock before and Bucky’d honestly only had two or three shitty quick and dirty blow jobs quite some time ago. He was more of a mutual hand job or mutual masturbation kind of guy on the few dates that went anywhere. 

Now though, with Steve, his _husband_ , settled between his legs and asking so nicely, who was Bucky to refuse. He was glad Steve was willing, he wanted Steve to suck his cock. He wanted more with Steve, he’d even tried to convince Steve he was ready to be fucked, but Steve really wanted to wait for home. He’d convinced Bucky it would be a multiple step process for them and so they stuck with just getting off together. 

Let it be known, Bucky had no complaints about getting off with Steve. Steve was attentive and not too serious. They were having a blast, no pun intended. So when Steve made the move this morning, Bucky indulged him. Let’s face it, Bucky indulged himself. 

Bucky was circumcised. Steve noticed that the first time he saw him naked. It didn’t matter to him either way, he still had a beautiful dick. It was particularly nice when Bucky was hard. He was good sized, long, but even better he was thick. In the few male relationships he’d had, Steve liked the weight of a pretty cock on his tongue, he would not lie about that. He’d not had Bucky in his mouth yet, but his dream would come true this morning. 

He kissed his way down the v in Bucky’s hips, before settling directly over the hard length and placing sweet, open mouthed kisses from the root to the tip. He was fueled by the sounds that Bucky could clearly not contain. That proved to be one of his favorite things about Bucky, his unabashed enjoyment of the new things they did together. When Steve licked flatly across the head of Bucky’s cock, he thought Bucky’d come based on the gutteral sound he made, but nothing happened, so Steve continued with an evil chuckle.

“Fuck, Steve...fuck, oh God, Jesus fucking Christ,” and the litany went on as Steve tongued the slit that continually leaked drops of the tastiest precome ever. 

It took less than a dozen strokes of his mouth following his hand down the length of Bucky before his back bowed and Bucky came with a shout of warning, calling out as if caught off guard.

“Oh Steve, I can’t- I’m- shit,” Bucky shouted as Steve swallowed around the length of him, relishing the results of his delightful labor. Steve’s groans at the feel of Bucky’s orgasm in his throat, caused Bucky’s thighs to tremble and quake and Steve rubbed them as he continued to lick and suck Bucky’ softening cock clean. 

“Jesus, Steve, I’m sorry...that was so- I tried to w-”

Steve took Bucky’s mouth to stop him from apologizing. “Bucky, it was phenomenal for me, did you like it?”

Bucky loved that Steve just talked about the sex they just had. It was hard at first, but Steve said his mother always told him he shouldn’t do anything he could not talk about out loud. They had laughed about that, but Bucky thought about it and it was true. Talking things through made it comfortable and easy to find a balance together in bed. Bucky’d been thinking too long without answering because Steve followed up his original question.

“Buck, you alright?”

“Oh sorry, yeah, just thinking how nice it is that you always check in. Even though it is ludicrous for you to ask if I liked it. Jesus, I so fucking liked it. I mean clearly, I lasted all of ten seconds…”

Steve laughed, “Buck, it was longer than ten seconds and you sounded like you enjoyed it, I just want to be sure...lot’s of new stuff happening and we’re new together.”

He was still hard as a rock, but he enjoyed helping Bucky out. He didn’t expect Bucky to reciprocate just yet, it was a lot, and honestly without being vain, Steve was a lot. He certainly wasn’t small and Bucky had not indicated a desire to do that to Steve yet. 

“Did you want me to…” Bucky offered but did not seem totally into it.

“No, Buck, don’t feel obligated. Don’t ever do anything that you think I want if you don’t want it. Lot’s of time for that later.”

Bucky’s hand found Steve and stroked. “‘Kay, but I like this. Can I make you feel good like this?”

Steve nodded and was gone as Bucky worked him over, intent look on his face. “I don’t want to do the whole thing, but can I kiss you-it I mean?”

“Fuck, Bucky, yes, I won’t come, promise,” Steve reassured. 

“Good, I just wanna play a little, if that’s alright. When you’re ready to be done, let me know.”

A groan erupted from Steve that had to have come from his toes and he endured the most torturous five minutes of pleasure he could bear as Bucky _played_. Kitten licks, timid and short, started things and Steve kept a gentle fistful of Bucky’s hair as he tried licking the length of Steve, then kissing up and down the shaft. Steve let Bucky know what was good, his response was involuntary. 

Bucky seemed to revel in causing Steve’s pleasure and things were going fine until Bucky got brave and closed his mouth around the head as his hand made a downward stroke exposing the dark red tip.. Steve began to struggle to hold on, wanting to continue to feel Bucky’s mouth, but knowing it would feel so good to come. 

“Buck, baby, careful,” Steve warned and then Bucky moaned and sucked the head of Steve’s cock. That did him in. 

Steve startled Bucky, flipping him fast as he stroked his cock, sticky from Bucky’s saliva. “Bucky, can I come on your belly, is that okay?”

Bucky flushed bright red at the question but nodded profusely. Steve loomed on his hands and knees over Bucky, leaning down for furious kisses, tongue ravishing Bucky’s mouth. Bucky was not lost to Steve’s pleasure and his hands sought out pleasure points, finding Steve’s pecs, and his sensitive nipples. Bucky circled them over and over as Steve stripped his cock, hand flying quickly despite the lack of sufficient lubrication. 

“Buck, sweet... fuck, baby...so perfect, so good…” and when Bucky gently pinched bth of his nipples, Steve’s orgasm slammed into him, and he flooded Bucky’s belly with thick splatters of come, crying out his name.

“ _Bucky_ , oh fuck, Bucky.” he panted into Bucky’s mouth attempting to recover and realized what he had done, the mess he had made. He pulled back to see if Bucky was alright.

When their eyes met, Bucky giggled. Not a common sound from a guy Bucky’s size but Steve definitely heard it. Bucky was still flushed pink from the waist up and covered in Steve’s spend, but he was smiling and his eyes’s sparkled. 

“That was all kinds of hot, Stevie,” Bucky’s voice was half low with lust, half laughing. 

Steve pressed their foreheads together. “Sorry about that, you really got me going there.”

Bucky pushed his chin up and captured Steve’s mouth with a kiss. “I see that.”

Steve flushed a little at Bucky’s comment, though it contained no ill placed humor. “Stay still, Buck, I’ll be right back.”

Bucky lay on the bed, covered in Steve’s come and pleased with himself. He was having the best time learning what made Steve tick in bed and he’d made Steve feel good this morning for certain. Bucky was glad sex didn’t feel as one sided as it did when the first started not quite one week ago, glad that he didn’t feel like Steve was doing all the work to make Bucky feel good. 

Steve came back from the bathroom with two washcloths and he cleaned Bucky’s belly, gently and thoroughly. There was something about how Steve took care of Bucky that brought emotions close to the surface. He could feel how much Steve cared for him. 

“Thank you, Bucky,” Steve said softly, placing a gentle kiss to his lips. “You ready for the shower.”

“Yeah, we’re late for the gym and we have zip lining to get to,” Bucky sighed. 

“Oh let’s just go to breakfast, we’ve had plenty of cardio today, sweetheart, don’t you think?”

*****

The flight back to Boston had felt longer than the flight to Antigua. They were not in first class this time and it was hot and crowded. It sort of felt like the couples knew the easy part of this situation was ending and the work just might have to begin. They were all a little on edge. The Otts, Elizabeth and Jaime, fought the entire time. At one point Steve pointed out that they were making a scene.

“Hey guys, I don’t know what happened to make you both so upset, and I’m sorry for that. But honestly let’s tone it down a notch. We’re not only being filmed while you guys are arguing, you’re disturbing people around you.”

Elizabeth shouted right back, “Why don’t you and your perfect husband just go fuck right off!”

Bucky had had enough. This was worse than school. She was a grown woman throwing a temper tantrum, and not the first one of the trip. She’d yelled at Steve when he hesitated during the zip line adventure yesterday, but he’d had convinced Bucky not to say anything. No more. Stick a fork in Bucky, he was done with this woman’s attitude..

“Alright, that is enough,” Bucky whispered forcefully as he stood from his seat. “You can talk ugly all you want in private and say mean things to your husband, but you’re not going to treat mine like that. You are throwing a fit that reminds me of one of my kindergartners and I for one am tired of it. I suggest you take a deep breath and count to 10. After that I’d give serious thought to the next few words that come out of your mouth.”

She seemed stunned that he addressed her like that. When she remained quiet, he leaned in further and said, “If I can help you in any way, I’d be happy to, but you are making a fool of yourself and they are going to use this to make you look dramatic on the show. Think about that. Maybe take a nap instead, there are still three more hours to go.”

He plunked back down in his seat to a smirking Steve. 

“What?” Bucky asked.

Steve kissed him just this side of dirty. “Nothing besides having my honor defended, that’s all.”

“Christ, don’t be ridiculous, I was tired of the yapping.”

“Mmhhmmm,” Steve responded. “But you did point out that she couldn’t treat _your_ husband as badly as her own...just sayin’...honor defended.”

Bucky felt silly and yet it was nice that Steve noticed what he’d done, and certainly Steve was not going to be shit on by that brat of a human. It did feel good to be the defender instead of the defended for once, even better when Steve snuggled down and slept with his head on Bucky’s shoulder for the rest of the flight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am open to suggestions as to what you want to see our soft boys do together. What do you think will be an adjustment for either of them? Work, cohabitating when it isn't a vacay...I have a few ideas planned out, but I am always curious as to your thoughts...


	12. Home is Where Our Story Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As part of the show, Bucky and Steve see each other's homes for the first time and worried best friends descend upon them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the support and comments! It's like throwing gasoline on a fire!! I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into their adaptation to real life.

Bucky’s 

“Well, here we are,” Bucky announced as he turned his key in the deadbolt. He pulled the key out and then inserted it into the doorknob, a twist of his wrist gaining them access to his third floor walk up apartment. They were being filmed by a crew of two, with small hand held cameras, better, but not unawkward. 

The last set of the steps had been steep and Steve felt every one of them as he hauled Bucky’s suitcase up behind him. 

“Wait,” Steve called out, making Bucky jump. 

“Jesus, wait for what?” Bucky asked with his hand over his heart. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Steve just scooped Bucky up and carried him across the threshold, plopping him on his feet and kissing him soundly. “There, just in case we choose your place, I carried you in. Tradition upheld.”

“Very sweet Steven, but why am I the bride?” Bucky asked flatly, eyes in a squint.

“You’re every bit my man, not a bride, but I’ve always wanted to do that. Hope that's a good enough reason,” Steve answered, a genuine look in his eyes, and a soft kiss to Bucky’s lips..

“Fine, good enough. Now welcome to my humble abode,” Bucky said with flair, spinning in a circle in the entry of the small apartment, arms outstretched. 

Steve took it in, almost the whole apartment was within eyesight. It was completely Bucky in every square foot. Hardwood floors and colorful area rugs. It was bright and full of life, function more than form, warm and lived in. It was also neat as a pin. 

They stood just inside the doorway as Bucky gave Steve the layout. Starting to the right, Bucky moved like a clock that stopped on the quarter hours. “Bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, living room, that’s the five cent tour.”

It was more than a five cent tour, though. Steve saw it for the priceless insight into Bucky that it was. There would be no question that they would live in Steve’s brownstone once Bucky saw it and knew it was paid for, but Steve didn’t mention that before seeing where Bucky lived. This was Bucky’s refuge from the world. It was worth waiting and not revealing his cards just yet to see where Bucky had made his home. 

Steve might have a bigger place, a valuable place in a much better neighborhood, but Bucky’s apartment was an illustration of his soul. It was what was missing from Steve’s place. Steve could only imagine what he and Bucky could do to make Steve’s brownstone their home. _Their home_. 

Steve’s eyes traveled through the layout. Through the open door he saw the bathroom. It was a shower tub combo with a single sink and a toilet. It was walled with white subway tile and had cabinets and towels that were navy blue. The kitchen was across the room from the door and it had a rounded archway. It was painted a bright buttery yellow with white cabinets and a kitchen table in a nook at the far side surrounded by three tall windows. It was charming. The living room was eclectic in design, a comfy couch, a stuffed chair, tv stand and a good sized desk in the corner that contained what looked like art supplies. The walls were adorned with photos, art, and things that looked personal. The bedroom was not visible from their standpoint, but they were sleeping here tonight, so he would see it later. 

Looking a little uncomfortable, Bucky said. “It’s not huge, but we could make it work if we need to, you know?”

“Bucky it’s a beautiful apartment. You’ve done a lot with it. My place needs a lot of work compared to what you’ve done here.”

Bucky stood a little taller and smiled warmly. “Thanks, Steve. It’s small, but it’s bright and it’s home. No dining room, but I have a folding table I put here in the entryway when I have more than one person over.”

“Nice. Now, what I’d really like to know is if you have a good pizza place nearby and then I want to see the bedroom,” Steve said, waggling his eyebrows. 

“Yes, I do,” Bucky answered, sounding indignant, but going to the drawer in the kitchen that held all the take out menus. He unclipped the pile and handed Steve the folded paper menu. 

“Please don’t tell me that is your junk drawer,” Steve groaned. “All your menus are clipped together?”

“Yes, a place for everything and everything in its place.”

Steve ran his hand down over his face. “I’m gonna be in so much trouble.”

“Naw, organization just comes easy for me. Now what kind of pizza do you want?”

Steve stepped up behind Bucky, circling his waist with one arm and holding the menu in front of them with the other. He rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder as they read the menu. 

“What’s good?”

Bucky reached up with his metal hand and scratched at the nape of Steve’s neck. ”I’m from Brooklyn so no pizza in Boston is actually good, but I can tolerate this place because it’s not greasy and the crust is crisper than most. I like pepperoni and mushroom.” 

“Now don’t be smack talking Boston pizza. We have good pie, you said so yourself in Antigua,” Steve scolded playfully.

Bucky rolled his eyes and used his cell phone to order a large pepperoni and mushroom then went to drag his suitcase into the bedroom. 

“Here, let me get that for you Buck,” Steve said as he lifted the bag easily. “Lead the way.”

“I can carry my own suitcase,” Bucky argued, not sure he liked Steve treating him like he wasn’t only an inch shorter and just as capable. Steve’s face dimmed a little, not Bucky’s intention. He quickly came back with, “I think you just want to see my bedroom.”

Steve smiled brightly after that and quipped right back, “Careful, Buck, it might be our bedroom.”

They ate their pizza at the kitchen table, Bucky had cold beer in the fridge. “I’m not an animal Steve. I stocked up before I left.”

Whether it was the long day or the carb overload, or a combo, they both began to yawn shortly after dinner. The crew headed out realizing they were done for the night.

“Wanna watch a movie on the couch for a while?” Bucky asked. 

They settled for starting the Sherlock series on netflix. Bucky was watching, he loved the interaction between the main characters, but mostly he enjoyed being on his own couch, snuggling with his husband. He found himself a little emotional, but tamped it down and just enjoyed the way Steve pulled him close and wrapped his arm around his middle. 

They made it through the first episode but then Steve kept yawning, so Bucky suggested they go to bed. They took turns in the bathroom and Steve searched through his carryon bag for his toothbrush. They brushed their teeth together, careful of spitting in the shared sink.

Steve stripped down to his boxers and Bucky put on sleep pants and a tshirt. They pulled the sheets back and slipped underneath them. On their backs, head on pillows, the both seemed to feel the weight of sharing a bed at home. 

Bucky glanced over to find Steve looking at him. “C’mere, Buck,” he said with a little welcoming motion of his hand. 

Bucky scooted toward Steve, his head finding the perfect resting place between Steve’s shoulder and neck. He placed a gentle kiss to Steve’s jaw. 

Steve shifted and leaned over him, pinning him in place in a comforting way. Bucky has longed to feel a pleasant weight bear down on him in bed, to trap him sweetly between the firmness of the mattress and the firmness of a warm body whose heart belonged to him.

Steve looked into his eyes as if he could see deep into Bucky’s very soul. “I love you and I’m happy to be home with you, in your bed with you.”

Then he kissed Bucky, gently, sweetly, but soundly, like he meant it. It went without saying that they were exhausted. The kiss was all they needed and they snuggled in the center of the bed and fell asleep. 

**Steve’s**

They woke the next day, Saturday morning and despite the lengthy travel day before, they were eager to get up and get moving. 

“Mornin’ sweetheart. Sleep okay?” Steve asked, pulling Bucky impossibly close as the little spoon.

Bucky stretched, like a cat before settling back into the crescent of Steve’s body as it curled around him. “I totally did. I kinda like you in my bed.”

That got him several kisses on the back of his neck, Steve pushing the length of his hair out of the way. Bucky groaned in objection.

“No, uh-uh, we have things to do, places to go, your place in particular, neck kisses could delay that indefinitely. We made our plan last night with the film crew, see both places and make our choice as to who’s apartment we keep, remember?”

“I do, but you’re all warm and cuddly and I might wanna change my mind.”

“No, sir. Now, do you want me to make breakfast, or do you wanna just get coffee on the run?”

“My favorite coffee place is just around the corner from my place and they make great stuff, let’s just shower and then grab something there, alright?”

“Perfect,” Bucky said, flinging the covers back and jumping up.

“Buck!” Steve objected loudly, hands searching for the edge of the bedding. 

“Come on, we’ll share, it’ll be faster. I can’t wait to be nosy at your place.”

Less than an hour later, Bucky had packed an overnight bag and Steve was driving them to his brownstone in Bucky’s Kia. Bucky was familiar enough with Boston that he was catching on. 

“Steve, this is near the market and the public park. Not a lot of affordable apartment space here.”

“It’s a great location. Right by the trains and a walking neighborhood.” A little sheepishly he added, “I can walk to the Public and Quincy markets in 10 minutes from my place.”

“That’s impossible, Steve. That would mean you live-”

Changing the subject, Steve declared, “Here we are. Capitol Coffee House, my fav place. I bring Sam’s little guy here for donuts.”

“I can smell the coffee from here. Fucking heaven,” Bucky said as he inhaled again.

They left with coffees and a bag of Steve’s recommendations to eat at his place. Steve was a little nervous as he drove just up the block and around the corner. . He was excited to show Bucky his home, but he could tell Bucky was on edge.

“Steve this is a really nice neighborhood.”

Slowing the car, he pulled directly in front of his brownstone and parked.

“Do we have to walk the rest of the way or something?” Bucky asked, taking a big sip of his caramel brulee latte.

Steve just gave him a small smile and then looked up towards the big shiny black door. 

“You’re shitting me, right?” Bucky blurted out. 

“Nope,” Steve said, opening his door and stepping out into the brick paved road. “Welcome to 17 Joy Street, my house.”

Bucky got out, but he did not look as excited as Steve would have hoped. The two person crew from last was there with handhelds to film. Great, it would be in the footage. 

“No offense, Steve, but thanks for letting me gush over my shitty third floor south side apartment when you live here, on fucking Joy Street.”

“Buck, it’s not a shitty apartment. It’s—”

“Good fucking Christ almighty, don’t give me that shit. You let me go on about how we could make space for you and make it work. You said your place needed work and the whole time…” 

Bucky was emotional. He was biting his bottom lip, like their wedding night. Steve regretted not telling him now. 

“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why did you let me brag about my third floor walk up?” Bucky asked, his voice breaking at the end.

Steve walked around the car to Bucky, close but not touching. “I just wanted to see your place and I thought if you knew I lived here you might not show me, or be as...I don’t know, as proud as you were last night.”

Bucky glared at him. 

“Buck, your apartment is great. It’s very you and by you I mean bright and beautiful.”

“It’s shitty and small and you know it.” 

Steve shook his head vehemently. 

“How can you even afford this place? The taxes alone must be thousands...you must have some salary as a detective.”

Steve stood, feeling dejected and said quietly. “My grandfather left it to my parents and then to me. After Dad...well, my mom moved to the suburbs, tired of the city. The taxes are paid every year, too. I make a three hundred dollar HOA payment and the utilities which are dirt cheap.”

“Oh,” Bucky responded.

“I shoulda said something, but I just wanted to see you...see where you were comfortable. Where you relaxed after a long day. I thought if I told you about all this, you might not be able to see past it.” Steve stood taller and sounded a little vexed. “This might be a big place, but I’ve rattled around in it alone for a long time. It isn’t half as warm as your place. I-I’ve been looking for someone to help me make it a home. Please, Buck, don’t be mad at me?”

“I'm not mad at you, Steve. I just felt silly. You have to admit my place is a joke compared to this.”

“Not really, I think your place is charming, it’s you for sure.”

God Steve looked like a kicked puppy dog again. Bucky was never going to win an argument with him. He hugged Steve, careful of their coffee. Steve leaned it and gave him a sweet kiss. “Sorry, Buck.” 

“Quit apologizing and show me your fancy brownstone, asshole.” 

Steve snorted and pulled the keys from his bag. Opening the door, he looked hopefully at Bucky.

“Oh for Christ’s sake, yes.” Bucky barked with but little venom and Steve handed Bucky his coffee and the bag of breakfast before scooping him up and carrying him across the threshold. 

Steve went to put him down, but Bucky objected. There was a table in the entry where he motioned to and Steve carried him to set the cups down. Bucky pulled his phone from his jeans pocket.

“I mean, obviously we're going to live here, so let’s grab a selfie. Say HOME SWEET HOME!”

Steve’s entire demeanor changed as they snapped the photo, and he gave Bucky a blushy grin as he set him on his feet.

“Oh my God, look at this entry way and the staircase...you have got to be fucking kidding me,” Bucky shouted. They grabbed their coffees and headed up the polished staircase that curved around as they climbed.

“So,” Steve’s voice was eager as he spoke, “That’s obviously the front entrance, but that’s all that is down there, the main part of the house is right up here on the first floor. 

The staircase opened into what Bucky would have called a great room. The living room and kitchen were open to each other with a dining table breaking up the space. It was a good size with so much character. There were literally two brick fireplaces. It was unreal. He wanted to pinch himself to see if it all disappeared in a cloudy poof.

The kitchen, perfect in every way, looked redone. Similar to the navy color from Bucky’s bathroom, were the glass paned cabinets. There was a professional grade gas stove, every appliance possible, including a fridge unit just for wine, big counter area with seating on one side and…”Steve is that a goddamn window seat in the kitchen?”

Steve just nodded sheepishly. 

The middle of the room was a good sized table that looked hand hewn, with six chairs around it. Bucky brushed his hand along it and laughed, “I guess this beats my folding table, huh?”

“Yeah, but I bet it’s never seen a dinner party like you can put on,” Steve answered with a chuckle of his own. “I made it, myself.” 

“You did what?” Bucky asked, running his hand along the grain of the wood in disbelief as Steve nodded. “This is a beautiful home, Steve. I’m just. In shock. I honestly...I just don’t know what to say.”

Steve kissed him right there in the middle of the room. “Yes you do, go on say what you want to.”

“Alright, since you said so, If the rest of the house looks like this....” he pointed to the living area. “We have a lot of work ahead of us. This whole place needs to be in line with that fucking fabulous kitchen, my friend.”

“Babe, the upstairs is even worse. Like three bedrooms with only beds and clunky dressers I got at second hand shops. My mom took her furniture when she moved and I just bought things as I needed them, no plan at all. The only work I had done was kitchen and bathrooms. ”

Steve took him on a tour of the second and third floors. The bathrooms were new, needing only a little facelift with towel choices and a little personality.. In the bedrooms the beds themselves were great, possibly antiques and the windows flooded the rooms with light. There were exposed brick fireplaces that were incredibly charming, but the rest of the furniture and all the curtains were shit. They could find things easily at his favorite shops, old stuff, not new. He and Steve could do the heavy lifting. Some of Bucky’s own stuff would work, too.

Bucky stood in front of the double doors that led to the second floor laundry room, stunned. He still could not believe he was going to live in this brownstone with Steve.

“Oh my God, there’s a third floor?”

“They count the entry so technically the fourth floor,” Steve corrected, smugly.

“Shut up, Rogers.” Now the shit was just bragging. 

On the third floor was a third bedroom, but Steve offered a different use. “You had that table in your living room for your planning stuff. I thought maybe we could make this into an office for the two of us and you could have your teaching stuff and I could have a desk and computer on the other end. There’s lots of storage and-”

Bucky crashed into Steve and forced a grunt from his chest as he hugged him tightly. 

Steve wrapped him up in his arms and kissed the top of his head. “I take it you like the office idea.”

Afraid he might actually cry over the thought of not having a mess from lesson planning in the living room, he just nodded. Steve just hugged him harder.

Steve showed Bucky the incredible outdoor deck area off the living room and then the basement that contained Steve’s workout equipment, a treadmill and weights. One wall was all mirror, making the small space look bigger. The other half of the basement was storage, but not a bit of dampness. 

They ended the well rounded tour at the kitchen counter, eating the breakfast they had picked up earlier. 

Bucky’s phone rang. “It’s Nat. She wants to meet up and see if I’m okay or, and I quote, _if I married a maniac who brainwashed me into submission._

“Tell her to come over and see for herself,” Steve laughed aloud. 

Bucky was surprised by Steve’s response. “What? Really?”

“Yeah, Buck, really. We need to meet each other’s friends for real and start getting to know each other. Plus she hasn’t seen you in two weeks. I could be an axe murderer as far as she knows.”

Texting with his thumbs, he said to Steve, “Wow this is gonna be great, I mean, she’s like my best friend and I think she’s worried about me, but really I think she’s mostly worried I won’t need her so much anymore.”

Steve reached out and tucked Bucky’s floppy hair behind his ear. “Second best friend, you mean.”

“Wait, what?” Bucky shook his head.

Steve leaned in for a kiss. “I hope she’s your second best friend. I kinda had my heart set on being your _real_ best friend.”

Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut as he sat in the kitchen of the beautiful brownstone he now called home, being kissed by his husband who gave the statue of David a run for its money, who also wanted to be his _best friend_. Bucky questioned how he even got here. What had he done to deserve this moment, this actual heart swelling, feel good, all his, for real, moment. 

“How ‘bout it, Buck?” Steve said as their lips parted. “Who’s your best friend?”

“As much as I feel like I should be checking a box in a note you passed me in math class, I am compelled to answer that you are, most definitely, my new best friend.”

Steve's face erupted into mischievous happiness. “Just don’t tell Nat, she’ll kill you...with her thighs...she’s really into martial arts,” Bucky followed up his response.

“That’s okay, you’re my new best friend but you can’t tell Sam or Little Man either. By the way, they may just show up out of the blue. It’s Saturday, which translates to donut day for Sam’s son.”

They both jumped when the doorbell rang and then laughed. Steve headed to the door and Bucky just looked around the big room again, trying to let it all soak in. He still couldn’t quite believe he was going to live here and with Steve, no less. It was unbelievable how different his life was from a short two weeks ago. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he shook his head. 

He heard muted voices, then heard Nat’s distinct tone. He spun around as her red hair popped up from the stairway. It hit Bucky how much he’d missed her and how grateful he was that she’d twisted his arm to sign up for the show. Without Nat’s nagging, Bucky would not be married to Steve. 

Nat saw him and stopped in her tracks. “Steve, can you hold a baby?” she asked. 

“Sure, I guess.”

She passed Mary Katherine off to Steve and ran to meet Bucky in the kitchen. They embraced and both burst into tears. 

Steve held the little red headed baby, Mary, Nat had told him at the door, as he watched his husband reunite with his friend. Bucky cried so hard in her arms Steve wanted to go see if he was alright, but he turned away and took the baby on the deck to let the two have their moment. He did peek through the windows, just to make sure they were okay.

They began to talk as Steve bounced the baby, and god help him he eavesdropped. 

“Look at you, tan asshole. How are you? Is he treating you alright? I’ll fucking crush him like a walnut if he’s not,” Nat half laughed, half sobbed.

“Nat, he’s fucking perfect. He loves me, he said so, a- and he’s been great about everything. I mean _everything_.”

“Good, Bucky, that’s good. You deserve perfect, sweetie. You’re perfect.” She pulled him in for another hug. Her frame looked so tiny next to Bucky’s. “Jesus, talking about perfect, look at this house, I mean really?”

“I know, right?”

Steve felt like their moment was over, so he eased back into the living room. “Everyone alright in here? Miss Mary was looking for her Mom, I think.”

“Yeah, we’re good in here. Hey Mary Katherine, come see Uncle Bucky,” he reached for the baby in Steve’s arms and she came kicking happily. Bucky snuggled her close and smelled her little red curls..

Steve rubbed his hand soothingly up and down Bucky’s back, “You okay, sweetheart?” 

“Fine, just glad to see everyone again. Nat here was the one who told me to sign up for the show, so I’m kinda grateful, is all.” Bucky felt his feelings welling up again. The whole morning had been such an emotional time, the house, seeing Nat again, letting her know things were going well...it was just...a lot. 

Now, standing in the dining room, holding a baby, imagining what he and Steve could build here, a home, a family... it was a bit overwhelming and he felt tears begin to fall again. Steve, careful of the baby, pulled him close, kissed him on the cheek and let Bucky nestle his face into his neck. 

Steve spoke...he spoke so softly and so gently, yet with such intent in his tone that Bucky knew he meant every word. 

“I love you, Buck. We’re home now, and this...this is where _our_ story begins.”

“Oh my _God_ ,” Nat groaned. “He _is_ perfect, Bucky.”

“Don’t ruin my moment, Nat. We’re friends, remember?”

“Yeah, but Jesus, you guys are in the sickeningly cute stage, Bruce and I are long past that. Maybe I’m jealous, and you know how petty I get when that happens.” An interesting tang of sarcasm and envy dripping from her voice. “Come to Mama, Mary Katherine, before they get saccharin on you.”

Bucky turned his body away blocking her from taking her own baby. “No, I’m getting my cuddles, it’s been two whole weeks, right, Mary Katherine?”

The baby clawed at Bucky’’s mouth with a chubby fist and Steve was just sort of standing there, not quite sure what to do to fit into this situation. It was clear the two were close in their bantering. He let himself enjoy how good Bucky looked with a baby in his arms. He found himself wondering how soon was _too_ soon to mention them starting a family. 

“It’s okay, Steve, you pass the test or she would have taken you down by now. You can relax,” Bucky laughed.

“Not completely,” Nat said, “I’ve got my eye on you. She made the appropriate finger motions showing she meant it.

Bucky moved in and kissed him before Steve could get a word in. Maybe that was for the best. He got a feeling Bucky’s formidable friend was setting him up for quite the best friend shovel talk. The doorbell rang and he was incredibly grateful.

“Saved by the bell,” he mumbled and barely restrained himself from running to get it. 

He pulled the door open wide and was not all surprised to see Sam and his three year old son, Ezekiel, who was holding a very heavy looking box of donuts. 

“Zeke, buddy, come on in,” Steve cried out. “Hey Sam,” he added as he was scooping little man into his arms, donuts and all. He reached out with his free hand with a shake and a shoulder hug.

“Looking good, man,” Sam said. “Married life’s treatin’ you okay, I see.”

“I’m doing alright, I guess,” Steve said with a self conscious shift of his feet and a little more color than he wanted to have in his cheeks as he turned and carried Zeke upstairs.

“You look better than alright, you look happy.”

Steve stopped on the stairs and turned to Sam with a full heart and prickly eyes. “I am happy, Sam, I really am.”

“S’all good, Steve, s’all good. You’re allowed some happiness, man,” Sam answered with a clap to Steve’s back. 

At the top of the stairs he set Zeke down on his feet with his box of donuts. 

Bucky came over still holding Mary Katherine, “Hello, who is this big guy?’

Zeke turned around, looking for Sam who gave him a pat on the back and said,”Say hello to Uncle Steve’s husband, remember how we talked about it?” 

“Hello Uncle Bubba, I’n Zeke,” the sweet little boy, who looked like a smaller version of Sam, greeted Bucky, whose heart melted. 

“Oh God, Uncle Bubba,” Bucky found himself endeared to the little guy already.

“Well, we had Uncle James down pretty good but then got the update. We shot for Uncle Bucky, we got Uncle Bubba,” Sam said with a shrug. “How you doin’ Bucky? Married looks good on you, too I see?”

“Right?” Nat agreed. 

Bucky rolled his eyes at Nat but offered his hand to Sam. “It’s nice to see you again, Sam. Thank you, I have to say, I am feeling pretty good about being married.”

Sniffles and the thump of a dropped donut box broke up the conversation. “Uncle Steve, how come you got a baby already? Daddy said this is a baby break b-but Mama said…” but the sobs shook out of him before he could finish. 

Sam picked him up and snuggled him as he melted into his father. “Sorry, he’s a little j-e-a-l-o-u-s of a certain someone.”

Steve stepped over and rubbed Zeke’s back. Bucky was over the moon at the way Steve interacted with him, so concerned. 

“Mama said what, buddy. What’s the matter?” Steve asked, sounding eager to help solve the issue. 

“Mama says,” his voice hiccupped with heartbreaking little sobs. “Mama says we can’t come over so much anymore a’cause you got Uncle Bubba at your house now.”

“Oh Buddy,” Steve said as they all tried not to smile too much or cry one of the two. He was adorably upset.

“We had a little talk about just not showing up unannounced on Saturday’s because...well,” Sam tried to explain, just digging the hole deeper. 

“Hey, Zeke, hey, can you listen to me for a second, I know you’re upset, but can you try?” Bucky clearly felt bad about the situation and being the reason for Zeke being upset. Zeke looked up at Bucky with big crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks. “Listen sweetheart, this is Miss Nat’s baby, not Uncle Steve’s and you can still come over and visit. Daddy has Uncle Steve’s phone number and you can call us whenever you want to visit to make sure we’re home.”

“We come ‘fore Uncle Steve goes anywhere on Sa’rday, it’s donut day.”

“Well, you just call to make sure we’re awake. How’s that?” Bucky asked, trying to suppress his smile from being cornered by a three year old. 

“Cuz you’re havin’ a sleepover and you might still be sleepin’?

“Zeke-” Sam began to awkwardly fix the situation

“Exactly!” Steve chimed. “Now you brought donuts, right? Let’s go eat one at the counter, huh?”

Scrambling to get down from Sam’s arms, Zeke seemed to forget his tears and hefted the box of goodies Steve handed him. 

“Sorry about that,” Sam apologized. “He’s really attached to Steve.”

Bucky shook his head, “Don’t apologize for having a kid that cute, not ever. How do you even correct him, Jesus, he ripped my heart out through my nostril when he cried.”

“Oh, you get used to it after a while, you’re still fresh meat for the tears,” Sam laughed. “Anyway, thanks for being decent about it.”

Bucky nodded. Nat said, “I think I’ll take Mary and get a donut.”

Bucky glared as she stole his baby protection and ran. Sam looked at him with an even expression and Bucky knew what was coming. 

“Listen, Steve and I served together, but he is my brother from another mother and I just want you to know that he looks really good, really happy. I hope you’re as invested as he seems to be. Steve’s a good man-”

“He _is_ a good man. He’s been an incredible gentleman and he’s made me feel more loved in two weeks than I ever thought possible. I’m in this to win this, if that makes sense,” Bucky tried to reassure Sam. “He’s all I ever wanted and everything I thought I’d never be lucky enough to have.”

“Alright, alright,” Sam said with a smile. “I feel you. Just be good to him. I can tell by the way he looks at you, he’s gone.” Bucky nodded firmly. 

“Hey, you guys better come before Zeke eats all the good ones,” Steve shouted across the room. 

When they joined the donut eaters, Steve gave Bucky a powdery kiss. Bucky licked his lips and slipped an arm around Steve’s waist. He could get used to Saturday’s like this for sure. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, their first night at Steve's is part of the next chapter... 
> 
> Here is a link to Steve's Brownstone:  
> https://www.redfin.com/MA/Boston/17-Joy-St-02114/unit-3/home/174114275
> 
> Just picture the bathrooms much bigger with free standing bathtubs, not attached to the walls. The decor is about what I picture Steve being able to accomplish as a sad ass bachelor, they plan to fix it up of course...
> 
> How is everyone? Thanks for all of the comments, they are really fueling me to keep this fic rolling off my fingertips!
> 
> I'm considering using a beta, thoughts? I have only used one for a big bang when it was required. Anyone skilled and interested


	13. A Taste of Everyday Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, how do you feel about walking to the market to pick up a few things?” Steve had regretted not having any juice or milk to offer Zeke, and no creamer for coffee. They’d all laughed it off, but with the sun shining so nicely, he thought they could get the fridge full before the week hit them. 
> 
> “Sure, I bring my lunch to school, I need to grab stuff for that.” 
> 
> The thought of Bucky carrying a lunch was so damn adorable, Steve couldn’t suppress his smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting, it's been a busy few weeks. The boys are still in disbelief at times that they have found each other...just a little glimpse.

Their guests left shortly before lunch time, affording Steve the opportunity to show Bucky which bedroom was the master, _their_ master. Just the thought of it made it hard for Steve’s mouth not to turn up at the corners, a variety of emotions running through him. HIs heart was full and his belly nervous as he thought of no more lonely nights in bed. Despite his best efforts, the thought that this _is where the magic happens_ slipped through his mind, only he didn’t mean it in an “ _am I that asshole”_ way. This room would be where he and Bucky would learn each other’s bodies and take each other apart. But for now, Bucky could simply unpack his bag and feel settled. 

They'd probably go to Bucky's apartment to get more of what he needed for the week ahead a little later, or maybe tomorrow. They still had to meet with the other couples and do interviews with the experts, in the morning at a formal check in. There was also some sort of surprise this season that would be revealed at the meeting. Plus Bucky still had to be ready to teach Monday morning, and Steve had to report in at the station. The relaxing time was over, now they had to make real life happen...with each other. It was time to blend their lives one day at a time.

Steve was leaning casually against the door jam of the room as Bucky put some things in an empty dresser and tossed his bag in the empty walk-in closet that was his. Steve watched as Bucky eyeballed it. It was a massive thing, full of shelves and drawers, and empty hangers on bars. Combined with Steve’s matching walk-in, they were probably the size of Bucky’s actual bedroom. Steve could almost hear Bucky _think_ the comparison. 

“Hey, how do you feel about walking to the market to pick up a few things?” Steve had regretted not having any juice or milk to offer Zeke, and no creamer for coffee. They’d all laughed it off, but with the sun shining so nicely, he thought they could get the fridge full before the week hit them. 

“Sure, I bring my lunch to school, I need to grab stuff for that.” 

The thought of Bucky carrying a lunch was so damn adorable, Steve couldn’t suppress his smile. 

“Plus,” Bucky continued glancing to Steve with a bright grin, “I don’t get to walk much in my neighborhood, mostly drive to whole foods.” 

“From Brooklyn and you haven’t mastered the Boston public transport yet? I’m shocked.” Now that he knew Bucky, Steve would feel better if Bucky wasn’t in that little apartment, no matter how homey he’d made it. The thought of him even considering walking there, especially at night, got his detective dander up hard core. He’d give Bucky a few street smart lessons to put his own mind at ease. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you the ropes, walking and trains are easy from here.”

“Sounds good. I’m just gonna run to the bathroom and I’ll be ready.” 

Steve turned and trotted down the stairs, replaying the picture of Bucky putting away his clothes. God, it felt good having him here. Now he was going to show him the neighborhood and all his favorite stalls at the market. Steve’s heart felt fuller than it had in a long long time. His bones were beginning to feel settled in this new relationship, as much as he could anyway. 

He heard Bucky talking on the phone upstairs. He wondered who he was talking to, but it sounded like muffled pleasantries, so he did not worry. It occurred to Steve that he had not called his mom and tomorrow was Sunday, brunch day for them. He figured he’d call on their walk, his mom was not much of a phone talker, so it would be quick. 

Bucky came down the stairs in a rush. “Sorry, my Ma called, wanted to check in. I told her everything was great. She wants to see us when we can all get together.”

“Yeah, sure. With two of us, maybe we could drive to Brooklyn one weekend, split the driving and napping or something.” Steve actually found himself wanting to get to know Bucky’s family better. 

“That would be great once I get back on track with school and everything.” Bucky had changed into a pair of faded jeans and a white v-neck t shirt. He had slipped a grey zippered sweatshirt on and pulled the sleeves up over his forearms. “Ready to go when you are. I’m gonna have to let you lead for a while till I get my bearings in the neighborhood.”

Steve led them on the route he typically took, the quickest way, explaining all the major landmarks on the way and how a simple left or right took them to the park or to the nearest station to grab the train. The neighborhood was alive with the colors of late spring. The trees that lined the streets were green and in full foliage. Steve couldn’t wait for fall, to show Bucky the colorful beauty of the maple trees that were scattered here and there among the others.

There were flower boxes and even small gardens dotting the brownstones with brilliant pinks and reds and the air was filled with sounds of kids playing, cars driving by, a dog or two barking, all the things that you would expect in a typical walk. Steve loved this walk and he adored his neighborhood. They passed a young couple with an expensive looking baby carriage and Steve found himself longing. Bucky’s grip on his hand tightened at that same moment and Steve thought he might not be alone in his thoughts. 

Before long, they were across the street from the Boston Public Market.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and held him from crossing the street. “Do you mind if I call my mom real quick, I was gonna do it on the way, but somebody distracted me with questions and looking beautiful.”

Bucky gave Steve a smile, like he was both pleased Steve wanted to call his mother, and pleased like he’d distracted Steve. Bucky leaned toward Steve for a kiss. “Check in with your mom, babe. Tell her I say hi.”

“Thanks,” Steve uttered the words against Bucky’s lips. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed his mom. 

“Hey Ma, how are you?” 

“Steven! Oh, Steven, how are you?” Steve felt himself smile as he heard the excitement in his mother’s voice. 

“Good, really good. Wanted to let you know we were back in town.” 

“And Bucky? How is he? How are things going?’

“He’s great, Ma. It’s...it’s fantastic. I’m really happy”

“That’s wonderful, I’m so glad. Can you come for brunch tomorrow?” 

She sounded so eager, Steve hated to break the news. “Probably not this week, I’m sorry about that but we have to meet with the show tomorrow and Bucky and I go back to work Monday, and we’re beat. 

“Oh, I was looking forward to seeing you both. Maybe you can come to dinner one night this week. I’d like to get to know my son in law.” She managed to sound like she was scolding him despite the fact that Steve was thirty nine. 

“I know, I promise we’ll come soon. Let me talk to Bucky about it, okay?” Steve looked up at Bucky and winked as he spoke.

“Alright, well I’m glad you called and you talk to Bucky and get back to me when you have time. Don’t overdo it, be careful at work. Tell Bucky hello for me”

“Ma says hello, Buck.”

“Hello, Mrs. Rogers.” The greeting felt awkward, but Bucky had spent all of fve minutes with the woman and as lovely as she had seemed, he was unsure what he should call her. He’d like to call her Mom, eventually, if she allowed it.

“Steven, you talk to that young man about calling me something a little less formal than Mrs. Rogers. I love you, Steven.”

“Love you too, Ma...and I will. Bye, now.”

Steve put his phone in his pocket and grabbed Bucky’s hand. 

“I usually do Sunday brunch at my Mom’s. Maybe we can still go once in a while.”

“Sure, whatever works for her. I don’t want to be the reason you don’t see your mom.” 

Bucky sounded apologetic, so Steve backpedalled a little. “It’s okay if we’re busy, Buck, don’t worry. She asked if we can come to dinner one night. Let’s see how the week goes.”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t.”

“Good, she’s dying to really meet you for real, I think. She doesn’t want you to call her Mrs. Rogers either.” He couldn’t help the nervous laughter that escaped as he thought that Bucky may not want to call her any form of a maternal endearment. After all Bucky had a mother he seemed close to himself. 

“Same here, if I’m being honest about meeting. You think she’d care if I called her Mom? I mean if its-”

“Buck…” Steve’s heart clenched in the best way. “She’d be over the moon, I’m sure.” 

Bucky's demeanor relaxed like he was relieved by Steve’s answer. Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and threaded their fingers together, pulling it to give a quick kiss before tugging him into the street towards the market. 

Entering the market was always overwhelming to Steve’s senses until he adjusted, so he glanced at Bucky to see how he was feeling. The market was crowded as it often was on a Saturday, lines wrapping around corners and the sounds at a steady high hum. Bucky looked to be at the same level of intensity in the busy environment, so Steve stuck close to him.

When the crowds closed in, Steve would reach for Bucky’s hand and squeeze to reassure him that he was there, or put a hand to the small of his back to guide Bucky ahead of him when they could not walk side by side. He’d wrap an arm around his waist and give him a chaste smooch when they stopped to peruse a stand. It was what Steve had always wanted when he shopped here on his own. To be here with someone, to be here with _Bucky_ , puffed his chest with pride. 

They made one initial pass, noting where they needed to stop the next time through and split a lobster roll and crabcakes at the seafood stand. Steve ordered while Bucky scrambled for a table. 

“Oh my god, this is so good,” Bucky moaned around the chunk of buttery lobster he shoved in his mouth. Steve’s eyes fixed to the perfect curves of Bucky's lips as he popped his finger in his mouth closing those lips around it, then pulling it out slowly, like a scene from a porn video. The lip smacking sound shot to Steve’s core so quickly he felt his belly clench. 

He’d been to this market before with people, occasionally on a safe first date, and he’d felt that tell tale clench in his belly after a dry spell... But now, here with Bucky licking his fingers and enjoying the food, having no clue what he was doing to Steve, it was very different. The feeling in his belly took him to a whole new level. He began to feel a little emotional, it was hitting him, that this was his new normal. 

This simple experience of a buttery lobster roll being devoured with relish by the beautiful man who wore Steve’s wedding ring. It hit Steve, just now, that he was not at some distant resort. He was in the town he was raised in, and his friend had been over that morning, like any other Saturday. The variable was that he was here, at his favorite market, with his beautiful husband who was unknowingly turning him on, and they could go home, begin their lives, fool around even...This was his life, now.. 

He took a few bites of his food, but he couldn’t eat with his usual gusto, it was as if the food was forming a leaded ball in his stomach as he ate. He tried to watch Bucky and just relax. This was a good realisation, one he’d longed to feel, for years even, but his heart began to race and he felt the prickle of oncoming tears as he clenched his eyes shut in avoidance. Not here, not now...

It was too late. This happened once in a while post deployment, anxiety would get a hold of him, oftentimes during an upsetting case, but sometimes even if the emotions were positive, which they truly were today. Still he was overwhelmed and he put his hand to his chest, breath coming rapidly. He heard his name…

“Steve, Steve, Jesus! Are you alright? What’s the matter?” Bucky looked worried. He was moving to stand when Steve made eye contact.

Steve started to laugh, and maybe cry a bit. “I’m married. I’m at the market on a lunch date with my husband, and then we’re buying groceries.”

“I’m aware, babe,” Bucky relaxed, realizing what was happening. He tried to offer his warmest smile. “I’m the husband you’re on the date with.”

Steve took the napkin Bucky offered him and wiped his eyes, looking around to see if he had made a scene. 

“You’re fine sweetheart, no one noticed.” Bucky stood once again and leaned across the table to give Steve a kiss. He felt Steve’s lips trembling as they kissed. “Of all places for it to sink in, it had to happen here, huh?”

Steve nodded with a chuckle. He reached over to take Bucky’s left hand in his and squeeze. “Thank you, Buck.”

“No sweat, ya big goof.”

“Let’s get something special for tonight, two weeks today, Buck,” Steve felt his own gaze softening slightly. Bucky nodded in return, face flushed, looking pleased.

They finished their food and picked up the table, looking for the garbage. Bucky led them to the can and Steve dumped everything. Turning to head back to the shops, Steve stopped Bucky, so grateful for his presence here and for just agreeing to be in his life, on this adventure together.

“What?” Bucky asked.

Steve ignored everyone around them and pulled him into his arms, kissing him with a gentle fire that he hoped lit Bucky from his core, melting him from the inside out. He broke the kiss and held Bucky tightly against his chest. The market bustle went on around them, just like a cheesy rom-com, but he wanted to be sure he cherished this moment. 

He felt as Bucky rubbed his hands up and down his back, as if trying to soothe his husband. Steve suddenly felt like they were the only people in the market. 

“I love you Bucky...Bucky Rogers. God I love to say that,” Steve whispered into the shell of Bucky’s ear, causing his husband a full body shudder. 

“Oh Steve, not half as much as I love to hear it. I love you, too...you know that, right?” Bucky’s hands clutched at the back of Steve’s lightweight hoodie. 

Steve eased back until his eyes could connect with Bucky’s. His hand went to Bucky’s cheek, thumb brushing gently at the scruff that had nearly grown to full beard during the honeymoon. 

“I do know, Buck. And, I’m so fucking glad.” He leaned in and kissed Bucky one more time before the crowd around them jostled them back to reality. 

They laughed and started walking, Steve’s arm around Bucky’s shoulders until they realized how very impossible it was in the crowded market. Bucky slipped in behind Steve as he led the way, never hesitating to reach back and grab Bucky’s hand when he could or to put a steering arm out to keep Bucky from bumping into an unforeseen obstacle. Steve nearly buzzed each time Bucky placed a hand on his hip, fingers threading through a belt loop, as a guide for himself when the crowd pressed close. It was the best shopping trip of Steve’s life.

Ticking off their mental list, they went from vendor to vendor on their second pass, most greeted Steve by name. They had purchased some fruit and vegetables, cheese and sandwich meat for lunches, a few treats from the bakery and gourmet chocolate chips for a surprise Steve did not need to know about, and a bottle of wine for later. Their last stop was a farm stand that sold organic meat and eggs. 

“They sell the best eggs, Buck, also milk and cream for coffee.”

“Hey Steve,” the guy behind the counter called out. 

“Hey Mick, how are ya?” 

“Good! What can I get you today?”

“We need 2 dozen eggs, a quart of milk, and a quart of half and half, please,” Steve ordered.

Mick came back with a brown bag with handles, and Steve paid with a pass of his card over the machine at the counter. 

“Everything okay, we haven’t seen you for a couple weeks,” Mick’s once jovial tone took a turn towards serious.

“Better than okay, Mick. I got married, two weeks ago today.” 

“No shit, for real?” 

Steve pulled Bucky close, winding an arm around his waist. “For real. Mick, this is my husband, Bucky. Bucky, Mick here sells the best eggs in Boston.”

“Only the best for you two. Hey you guys, Steve here got married!”

“No way, the murder cop got married?” One of the guys yelled. Steve just shook his head. If he objected too much, these guys would be like a dog with a bone and he’d never hear the end of it, not that he really wanted to anyway. Steve left his thoughts as the same guy demanded, “Hey prove it, show us the ring.”

Steve lifted his hand showing the silver band on his left hand and nodded with his head for Bucky to show his. Panic flashed across Bucky’s features for just a second before Bucky whipped his hand up next to Steve’s flashing his wedding band. 

“Damn, badass arm, did you serve? Two tours in the sandbox for me,” Mick asked after they all registered that Bucky had a prosthetic.

“107th just like Steve. Just a while after him.”

“I see...your old man is actually an old man, huh?” Mick shot back with a smirk.

Steve laughed heartily and Bucky joined him, tossing his head back and Steve realized he could watch Bucky laugh all day long. He was a beautiful man and when he laughed, he was stunning. 

The guys behind the counter all came over and congratulated Steve and Bucky. It was becoming more and more real that Bucky was Steve’s partner in life and he loved it. He could feel his face heat and he knew he must be beet red, but it was a feeling he wanted to have over and over again. He glanced over at Bucky and if Steve’s inclination was correct, Bucky might just be as pleased and proud to be with Steve as Steve was to be with him. 

Before heading home, they stopped on a bench outside the market and Steve pulled his nylon grocery packs out of his pocket.

“This is how I usually carry things home. Those bags don’t always last and the handles can be a bitch on the fingers.”

They balanced all the items they had bought into one for each of them to wear on their back. Steve hoped Bucky didn’t mind as he folded all the other paper bags into the largest bag and carried it along with the eggs, the bakery treats and the rustic l round loaf of whole grain bread. 

“Jesus, you really have a system for this, don’t you?” Bucky put his arms out and slid them through the straps. Steve helped him get his backpack onto his shoulders. He watched as Bucky had to adjust a bit until he found the right place on his left shoulder for the strap. 

“Oh shit, Buck. Sorry, I forgot about your shoulder. I mean-” Christ, guilt burned through him at the insensitivity of putting Bucky in this situation. Bucky interrupted him quickly with a wicked grin.

“Don’t ever apologize for forgetting about my shoulder, Steve.”

“I didn’t mean I forgot about it, like forgot you had it.”

Bucky slipped a hand around the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him closer and kissing him with a bit more tongue than was appropriate for a public place. It was nearly filthy. 

“I can carry this bag just fine and I’m glad you don’t see me for my prosthetic, babe. You’re the first person I dated who didn’t treat it like it was a major fucking issue. I like that about you. You just see me.”

They walked home holding hands while Steve playfully quizzed Bucky about the layout of the neighborhood, tickled that he remembered every detail, but then Bucky probably had the majority of the same military training in his background as Steve. Steve rewarded each correct answer with a kiss, to Bucky’s delight. It felt so natural that it was hard to believe that he’d only met Bucky two weeks ago. Two weeks that made a world of difference for both of them. 

*****

Bucky was putting away the groceries in the beautiful kitchen that was going to take a while to get used to because of all of its top of the line details. Steve had the bottom freezer, double top door model refrigerator and Bucky thought he’d died and gone to heaven. It beat his junker that the landlord refused to replace. It could use a scrub but you could tell Steve cleaned it regularly. It had a few crumbs and sticky spots, but no worse than Bucky’s got before a good cleaning. He was contemplating tearing the thing apart when Steve unpacked the last of his bag and came up behind him and slipped his hands under the hem of his t-shirt. 

“What are you up to, Mr. Rogers?” Steve’s tone was playful with a rough edge of want, if Bucky was right. 

“I was going to put away the groceries but that morphed into cleaning the fridge before I do, _Mr. Rogers.”_

“What? Why?” Steve peeked around Bucky into the fridge. “It's not that bad, I clean it before it gets gross.”

“I didn’t say it was _bad_ , I just usually give mine a wipe down before I fill it with new food, no big deal.”

“What do you say we just put the stuff in there for now and then maybe go take a little nap...in our bed.” Steve swept Bucky’s hair off his shoulder and trailed playful kisses slowly down his neck as he spoke.

“A nap? I’m not really tired.” Bucky side eyed Steve and answered saucily, knowing god damn good and well what Steve intended. Inside Bucky was absolutely quaking at the thought of what Steve might have planned.

“Neither am I.” Steve’s voice dropped into that low register that hit Bucky right in the solar plexus and made his fingers tingle, every damn time. 

Steve’s fingers sealed the deal as they caressed up and down Bucky’s abs. His breath began to come rapidly and he dropped his head back to rest against Steve’s shoulder, enjoying the way Steve’s fingers lit up his skin. It had become evident to Bucky in the two first weeks of their marriage that Steve had magic fingers. He longed to have those same fingers on more than just his skin.

“Hey Buck?” Steve’s voice interrupted his little moment of pleasure. “The food? In the fridge?”

“Hmmm?” Bucky was trying to focus but Steve’s fingers prevented it. They had yet to stop their skittering and sparks still danced across Bucky’s skin. “You know you’re not helping matters…”

“Sure I am...I’m supervising you putting things away. Now let’s go, time’s a wasting.” 

Steve was a wicked, wicked man, of that Bucky was sure. He kept his body fully plastered to Bucky’s backside and continued to torture him with well placed kisses and touches. Some of those touches remained soft, but when Bucky could not stop the whimpers brought forth by Steve's fingers, Steve would grab and squeeze in return. Bucky’s sounds seemed to cause Steve to lose control, to press their hips closer, to kiss a little wetter, to growl. 

Bucky was fine with what was happening until one of Steve’s little moments almost made him drop the two dozen organic and very expensive looking eggs. There were limits for Bucky and living on a super tight budget prevented him from doing something as reckless as wasting food. 

“Steve… You’re gonna make me drop these. Now you let me finish this. You can hand me things if you want or you can go somewhere else and wait for me to be done.”

“Awww, Buck, I was having so much fun…” Steve waited for Bucky to put the eggs in the fridge and then he pulled him close so fast, he forced a breathey grunt from him. 

Bucky grabbed his hands and forced them off his waist and forced Steve to an arms length away. “You heard me, Steven, hands to yourself til I’m done.”

“What happened to helping?” Steve’s eyes searched his, feigning innocence, and his eyebrows lifted in the way that made him look so young, Bucky could almost imagine what Steve would have looked like had he shown up on the first day of school in his class. 

Bucky pulled out his teacher voice. 

“Well now I don’t trust you to do that in an appropriate manner. You’ll just have to be patient…” Bucky could barely keep a straight face as he teased Steve. For good measure he threw in a threat. “You’re lucky, I usually wash all my produce before putting it away. I learned that trick on the Food Network.”

Steve’s mouth formed a straight line, the look of a man momentarily defeated. He pulled Bucky close for a moment, and Bucky let out a huff of frustration. Steve kissed the huff away. 

“Look, I’ll tell you what. This is the last chance we are going to have to relax for a week. I’ll run a nice bath for us while you finish up and we can see what happens from there. How’s that sound?”

Bucky could not help his smile. He could see the hint of desire still in Steve’s eyes. 

“Sounds really good.” Bucky could not help but suck in his bottom lip and bite it at the mere thought of sharing a bath for the first time in their home. He hoped it led to a lot more than a nap, and to more than Steve had been willing to do on their honeymoon. He hoped it involved Steve’s magic fingers and currently unexplored parts of Bucky. A full body shudder rolled right through him. 

Steve grabbed him while he was distracted by his thoughts and squeezed him tightly as he whispered breathily into his ear. “I’ll be in the tub...waiting,” before he trotted off upstairs.

Bucky scrambled through the bags and began to stuff things on any shelf, wherever they fit. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is an experienced writer and would consider giving me a little help with the chapters, I might be interested. I'm toying with getting a beta to improve my storytelling.


	14. A Single Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Buck, sweetheart, you’re so beautiful. I could eat you up, I swear to god.”
> 
> “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Bucky chuckled as his hands roamed Steve’s backside and then gave him a sharp smack on the ass. 
> 
> “Now, now, Buck...don’t start something you can’t finish.” 
> 
> Steve’s voice struck a nerve and Bucky shuddered from head to toe. He wanted Steve to finish him in any fashion he wanted to, Bucky was certain of that. He needed it to be soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good God, I am so sorry this took so long to get written! It has been a long couple of weeks. Anyway, our boys are off and running, have a few thousand words of smut. This is where I put my old straight lady hat on and hope I do not offend anyone with my vanilla bed shenanigans...if I have been blatantly neglectful, shout out to me, otherwise just come along for the ride.

Bucky made his way eagerly upstairs and found far more than he expected. It was clear that the bed had been remade with fresh sheets. When the hell had Steve had time to do that? He heard the bath water running and followed the sound to where he was bound to find Steve. He stopped in the doorway of their ensuite bathroom and he was pleasantly surprised. 

Steve stood in the dimly lit room, naked save for a towel wrapped around his waist, which accented how broad his damn shoulders were. He was leaning over, muscles flexing as he swirled the frothing, bubbly water filling the elegant stand alone soaker tub. Sprinkled throughout the space were little tea lights and one larger candle, maybe vanilla scented. Bucky was pleased to realize that he married a man who was not afraid of romance. Steve looked up at him in the doorway, giving him a sweet grin, the glow of the low lighting giving the whole scene warmth that seeped into Bucky’s bones. 

“That didn’t take long.”

“There weren’t a lot of groceries…”

“Oh, you’re going with that, are you?” Steve stood and walked toward Bucky with a chuckle. “I thought maybe you were just eager.”

“No, no...I just didn’t want to keep you waiting too long, for me...I mean.” Bucky was glad for the lighting because his face felt absolutely on fire. 

“Well, that was sweet of you, Buck.” Steve served back the banter and began to undress Bucky layer by layer until he reached his boxers. Bucky let him, though he wasn’t sure he had done so because he wanted to or because he'd simply lost control of his motor functions. Death by Steve Rogers, one article of clothing at a time, if you will.

Steve sauntered over and reached behind the bathroom door to grab a thick navy bathrobe and effortlessly slipped it on Bucky from behind, leaving the front open and hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear. He pushed them down Bucky’s thighs, caressing as he went, until they were low enough for Bucky to take the hint and kick them off. Steve closed the robe without so much as a how do you do to Bucky’s growing hardness and tied the belt in place. Bucky’s breath was already coming fast and shaky. 

“That’s better, much more comfortable, isn’t it Buck?” Steve led him to the vanity by the mirror and opened a drawer that Bucky had put his brushes and hair ties in earlier when he was unpacking. 

Steve’s movements were all slow and purposeful... and wanton. He chose a brush and again standing behind Bucky, Steve gently pulled it through Bucky’s hair, all the while looking at him in the mirror like he wanted to eat him alive. Bucky had never felt so desired, at least not in a good way...a loving way. With each tender pass of the brush, Bucky felt equally cherished and wanted. By the time Steve had pulled Bucky’s hair on top of his head into a messy bun, not even the heavy weight of the robe could hide his arousal. As if sensing Bucky’s concern, Steve reassured him.

“No need to worry, sweetheart, I’m gonna take care of that in a bit. I promise I’ll take good care of you, okay? You alright so far? I’m not the best at this hair stuff yet, but I’ll get there.”

Bucky could not nod quickly enough. “No, it’s perfect. You...” Bucky swallowed thickly before he could continue. “You did great, Steve...thanks.”

“You bet. You ready to relax for a bit? Ready to get in?”

Once again all Bucky had was a nod. He let Steve lead him to the tub. Steve dropped his own towel to the floor and Bucky all but gasped at the sight of Steve fully erect and bobbing, the tip of his cock shining wet with his own arousal already. Steve stepped in and eased himself into the water, laying back against the end of the tub, eyes never leaving Bucky’s.

Steve’s face wore a playful smile. “Why don’t you drop that robe and join me. Water’s nice and warm.”

Bucky’s hands moved to the tie, eager, and yet out of nowhere, a surge of unnecessary self consciousness passed through him, like electricity, at the thought of Steve watching him. He wasn’t sure why. They’d been naked together several times now. His hands stilled and Steve must have noticed because his once hungry features softened and Bucky felt reassured. 

“Come on, love, come and lay with me awhile.” As he spoke, Steve motioned for Bucky to come, so he did. Bucky noticed Steve’s hands seemed so large to Bucky and yet he had never felt anything but gentleness from them. 

In a moment of courage, Bucky dropped the robe and stepped forward onto the bathmat. Steve offered a steadying hand as Bucky stepped into the tub. The water was a warm contrast to the cool air in the room. Steve’s hand took his weight as Bucky lowered himself into the water, and between Steve’s legs, hissing as the heat slowly enveloped him. Once he was seated, Steve reached forward, wrapped an arm around his waist and urged Bucky to relax back against him. Bucky settled his back against Steve’s chest, which meant their hips were pressed together as well. The hard line of Steve’s cock was hard to miss pressed against the crack of Bucky’s ass, not that he minded, not in the least.

Bucky turned his head to find Steve looking at him with dark eyes. Bucky panned down to Steve’s perfectly soft looking pink lips, his tongue darting across his own bottom lip as if he could somehow taste Steve by doing so. He didn’t have to wait long before Steve was cupping his face gently with one hand and kissing him slowly and softly, conveying the soft mood of the moment.

There was no urgency despite the intensity of the kisses Steve gave Bucky. Instead, Bucky began to feel liquid from the inside out. When Steve pulled back, he urged Bucky’s head to his shoulder and he settled Bucky’s hands to his own thighs. 

“Close your eyes, sweetheart. Let’s just relax for a bit...enjoy the bubbles and the warm water, hmmm?’

“Sure...this is really nice, Steve. Thank you for doing this for us...for me.”

“You’re welcome. Nothing makes me happier than spending some quiet time together, in our home, Buck.”

Bucky sucked in a breath. It was exhilarating to hear Steve refer to it as their home, yet there was also something very grounding about it. It spread a calmness from the center of his chest out towards his fingers and toes. It was enough to give him the desire to make a move on Steve, to hopefully start something Steve would want to finish, yet he knew Steve must have some sort of plan to go to all of this trouble and so Bucky lay still in the quiet and put his trust in his husband. 

“Same here. It’s nice,” Bucky affirmed, and he meant every simple syllable. Nice was good. Bucky thought that’s what might have kept him waiting his whole adult like for sex. It was great to feel wanted and to feel sexy in clubs and dancing, but he’d never felt comfortable enough with anyone in the quiet times to let himself be so vulnerable. Sitting here with Steve in the quiet felt right. It wasn’t uncomfortable, or awkward...it was nice and it was what Bucky longed for. Still, Bucky also knew that if he thought too long, his nerves would kick in on him.

“You think really loud when it’s quiet,” Steve spoke so softly, Bucky almost didn’t hear him. “You okay?”

Bucky turned carefully to his side and snuggled his face into Steve’s neck. “Better than okay, really good in fact.”

Steve brought his hand up out of the water to hold Bucky around the shoulders. “Good, feeling’s mutual.”

Bucky smiled and pressed a kiss right below Steve’s ear, the little soft spot he loved so much. Steve turned his face and kissed Bucky sweetly on the lips, then encouraged Bucky’s head back to his neck, like he’d missed feeling it there. 

“I was thinking,” Steve started then stopped. Bucky heard him swallow like his throat was thick and it even clicked. “I was thinking that you had mentioned wanting to move forward, in bed I mean, and I thought we could lay here for a while, get you relaxed and then maybe move to the bedroom. How do you feel about that?”

“I’m thinking that would be nice,” Bucky responded with a playfulness he hoped Steve would hear. He must have gotten the message. 

“Then I was thinking I could give you a nice massage. You said yourself in Antigua it felt good but you wanted me to make you feel good like that.” Steve sounded a little nervous, his usually deep voice raising a bit by the end.

Bucky chuckled. “Then I’d be thinking that would also be nice.” 

“Nice, huh? Only nice? Because I was thinking if the massage went well, and you could be relaxed enough, that maybe, just maybe, I could make you feel really good with my fingers.”

“Oh?” Bucky full on teased Steve with his intonation. “That might be a little more than nice, if we could get to that bit then...I mean if all goes well.” He reached down behind himself as he spoke and found Steve’s fully erect cock lying against his thigh. He took it in the circle of his fist and gave it a squeeze. 

“Jesus, Buck.”

“Steve?” Bucky moaned his name into his neck. “I think I want the massage part now.”

Steve stilled Bucky’s hand and kissed him again, his tongue seeking and searching into Bucky’s mouth, finding Bucky’s eager tongue. 

“I know, sweetheart, but there is a method to my madness, here and the warm water is part of it.”

Bucky sighed, but he’d figured Steve had a plan, so he just let himself be led a little. “Alright, if you say so.”

“I do, love, now I’m going to wash us both and then we are going to relax for a little longer and then, the massage, okay? 

Bucky nodded against Steve’s chest and closed his eyes. He placed his metal hand right over Steve’s heart. The bionics gave him the ability to feel Steve’s heartbeat and it became clear to Bucky that he wasn’t the only one ready for the next event. Still, he willed himself to relax, to let Steve guide them this time. 

It worked. Steve lovingly soaped them both up, _all over and more thoroughly than Bucky had probably ever washed himself_ , and then they soaked in the heat of the water, almost dozing at times. 

By the time the water was beginning to cool, Bucky was a mass of relaxed jelly. Of course, Steve whispering sweet things in his ear and scratching his fingers on Bucky’s scalp helped immensely. 

“Hang out here for a sec,” Steve kissed the words into Bucky’s temple before climbing out of the tub first. The water sluiced down over Steve’s muscles in a way that made Bucky hyper aware of every ridge and ripple. His body hair was darkened and clinging to his body. Bucky wanted to follow and lick him all over, but he waited, not wanting to spoil Steve’s plans. 

Steve dried himself off with his towel before wrapping it around his waist, and Bucky knew he could watch that all day long. He actually grabbed his dick and squeezed the base firmly to slow his arousal. Steve was a vision and Bucky was so lucky to be married to him. 

Bucky was so focused on watching Steve, he didn’t realize that Steve was returning his gaze. As their eyes connected, Bucky registered that he’d been caught staring and he averted his eyes and a very flushed smile. 

“Alright there, Buck?” The question rolled off Steve’s lips with a quiet laugh. He walked toward Bucky with a folded grey towel from the linen closet. 

“I’m fine and you know it.” Bucky didn’t try to deny getting caught once Steve mentioned it. 

Steve unfolded the towel and Bucky stood in the tub in anticipation. Steve offered his hand and Bucky took it to steady himself as he stepped out onto the bathmat. Instead of giving Bucky the towel, Steve surprised him and began to dry him with the towel himself. Bucky closed his eyes and let Steve complete his ministrations. Bucky would be lying if he didn’t say he felt cherished by the simple act. 

A sweet kiss on the lips and the towel tucked around Bucky’s waist ended the moment, and threading their fingers together, Steve led Bucky to the bedroom. 

The duvet was pulled back and there was a towel in the center of the bed, Bucky’s neater side was glad for Steve being careful about things like that. He’d started that on the honeymoon and neither of them had ever ended up in a wet spot. Bucky’s mind was starting to wander to the areas of sex that made him nervous, he hoped he could refocus on the fun parts. 

Steve pressed their bare chests together and captured Bucky’s mouth in a heated kiss, tongues mingling and tasting. He backed Bucky to the bed until his legs met the edge and he urged Bucky up and onto his back. Bucky went where Steve wanted him, panting, short of breath with desire for what Steve had planned. Bucky wasn’t tiny, but Steve had a way of looming large over him and making him feel small. Bucky had no problem with how much he enjoyed that. 

“Buck, sweetheart, you’re so beautiful. I could eat you up, I swear to god.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Bucky chuckled as his hands roamed Steve’s backside and then gave him a sharp smack on the ass. 

“Now, now, Buck...don’t start something you can’t finish.” 

Steve’s voice struck a nerve and Bucky shuddered from head to toe. He wanted Steve to finish him in any fashion he wanted to, Bucky was certain of that. He needed it to be soon.

“I know we talked about the next step we wanted to take, but you can tell me to stop whenever you want. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do, Steve. I won’t want you to, but I know all I have to do is say red or stop.”

“Good, now what do you say we start with that back rub and then if you’re feeling up to it, I’ll help you come on my fingers.”

“Jesus, yes, please Steve.” Bucky groaned as Steve ground their hips together. 

“Alright, before I get too carried away, lay on your belly over the towel.” 

Bucky did as he was instructed and the towel gave exquisite friction as he settled into a comfortable position with his head flat on the mattress and his arms relaxed at his sides. He heard the snick of a cap being opened and then a sharp intake of breath from Steve. 

“Shit you look good like that. I cannot wait to be in that luscious ass of yours, Buck.”

“God, then do it, Steve. I know I can take it.” Bucky was growing impatient and yet more nervous. He could feel his nerves getting to him in the way that he knew would not end well. It had nothing to do with not wanting Steve and everything to do with the unknown of it all.

“You probably could, sweetheart, but it’s the after effects I’m worried about.”

Bucky could hear Steve rubbing his hands together and the sound the lotion made on them. It made him want Steve to fuck him even more. Still his brain was twisting things and he felt like Steve was dealing with him in a condescending manner. 

“You act like I’m a kid who doesn’t know what’s coming.” Bucky was a little snippy in his response. 

Steve sighed and his hands stilled. “No, Buck, I’m treating you like a man who’s not had anything in his ass yet. Not even his own fingers. We need to do this in stages so you can enjoy it without being in pain later, or even worse, hurt.”

“Alright, no more lectures, I get it,” Bucky snapped back. 

“Look at me, Bucky.” Steve’s tone was soft but serious. “Please.” 

Bucky closed his eyes and turned over. He’d ruined the mood and he knew it. In the little time he’d known Steve, he recognized his business voice. If Bucky had a teacher voice, Steve had a detective voice of his own. 

“Honey, you’re not looking at me if your eyes are closed. I need to see you when I say this.”

Bucky pressed his lips together, annoyed at the situation, more so at himself for spoiling their afternoon romp. It was unnecessary and he didn’t even mean to do it. He opened his eyes and looked at Steve.

He really wished he hadn't. Steve’s eyes conveyed hurt. His brow was doing that wrinkly concerned thing he was so damn good at. His hands, full of lotion, were clasped together to avoid making a mess. They were sitting on his thighs, near his now softening cock, the tell tale sign that Bucky had really done it this time. 

“It’s important for me to do this right with you, I need you to understand that.”

“I _do_.”

“I mean it Bucky. We don’t know each other all that well, yet. I need to be sure you’re comfortable.”

“Steve, I am not gonna do anything stupid. I’m eager is all. I’m twenty nine for fucks sake and I am a complete and total sex nerd.”

“Buck…” Steve’s tone was now trying to soothe Bucky. 

“No, Steve. I mean it. I have never even so much as attempted a single finger in my own ass. Now I’ve got myself so worked up about it actually happening...I’m fucking sabotaging myself.”

“Hang on, now-”

“I’m literally cockblocking myself. I’m a complete idiot. I’m sorry.” And now he was tearing up with a huge lump in his throat. Great. Steve was never going to go any further in their sexual relationship if Bucky cried when they fooled around. 

Before his tears could fall, he felt Steve’s arms envelope him without saying another word to Bucky. He let Steve pull him close and kiss sweet nothings into his skin. He was beginning to relax, nestled into Steve’s neck, when he began to speak.

“What happened, sweetheart. Tell me what I did that upset you.”

“It wasn’t you, it was me and my stupid brain getting ahead of me.” Bucky shook his head, willing the thoughts away.

“Buck, if I misinterpreted what you want-” Bucky interrupted Steve to correct him.

“Listen to me. I said it was my fault. Steve you are trying very hard to make things really nice, and I appreciate that. I really do.”

“Okay, then what happened?” Steve looked truly puzzled. 

“I don’t really know why I get so upset, except I think I’m fine one minute and ready...and then you make this nice experience but maybe it takes too long and it gives my nerves the chance to build…”

“Oh.” Steve seemed surprised by his response. “I thought it was me moving too fast.” 

“Steve, I may be inexperienced, but I am old enough to choose. I knew what I was getting into and we had two weeks to work through those physical issues. I told you then I wanted to move forward.”

“I know, but-”

“But what? You don’t believe me? Or maybe you think I don’t know my own mind?”

“No, Buck. _No…_ that’s not what I mean at all.”

“Okay then. Maybe slow is not my style for this part. Maybe…” Bucky was almost unable to say that he wanted Steve to hit the gas and not the breaks. “Maybe a guy just wants to be ravaged a little bit. Like a cover of a romance novel. Taken, but nicely.”

Steve leaned back to look at Bucky. “James Buchanan Rogers. You’re killing me. I was trying to be super sensitive to your needs and here you are like, _throw me on the bed and have your way with me_. Damn.”

Bucky hid his face in his hands. It was on fire and now he was regretting what he had said. 

“Don’t hide, Buck. Don’t…” Steve chuckled a little, pulling Bucky’s hands off his face. “I’m glad you’re learning to tell me what you want. I hear you and I understand what you’re saying.”

“Really?” Their eyes locked and Bucky was relieved Steve wasn’t upset . 

“Yes. I guess I was trying to make everything the perfect moment. I’ve never been with someone like you, so I think I’m trying a bit too hard. I mean, Buck, it’s gonna be your first time and I’ll feel like such an asshole if it doesn’t go well.” 

“I think that’s sweet and just the fact that you think that means it _will_ go well.” Bucky took a chance and kissed Steve, pouring his relief and if he was being honest, his want into it. Steve startled at first, but then thrilled Bucky by kissing back in earnest. 

Before long, Bucky was being manhandled onto his back and he had a whole lot of Steve pressing him into the bed and kissing down his neck. He could not suppress the moans that those kisses pulled from him. 

“How ‘m I doing now, Buck?” Steve asked as he sucked Bucky’s earlobe into his mouth and bit gently. 

“Hnnggg,” was all Bucky could manage as his hands mapped the muscles in Steve’s back and the curve of Steve’s ass. 

“I’m gonna assume you’re good unless you tell me different, beautiful.”

“Quick learner,” Bucky finally managed as he bit kisses into Steve’s bearded jawline. 

“Oh , ho, ho…” Steve pushed himself up on his arms, hovering over Bucky and then took his face in the palm of his hand. “You’re incredible, Buck. I want to make you feel good, help you figure all this out. Alright?”

“Yeah...I wanna make you feel good, too. Want us to feel good together.”

Steve gave Bucky that small special smile, the one that went right to Bucky’s belly and then he leaned in and kissed him deeply. Bucky opened his mouth to him and Steve devoured him with a growl, plunging his tongue in and searching for Bucky’s. Once he found it, he twirled them together and then left his mouth abruptly, kissing his way to Bucky’s chest.  
  
Bucky felt both of Steve’s hands slip into his hair as his lips brushed a nipple. Goosebumps raised under the trail of Steve’s mouth and he sucked in a sharp breath as Steve’s tongue circled the peak and closed his mouth to give it a firm suck. Bucky’s back arched off the bed in reaction and Steve kissed his way to the other nipple mouthing at it like he was sorry he’d neglected it. 

Bucky found the control he needed to make his arms respond and he took Steve’s head into his hands, encouraging him to keep his mouth where it was. Steve seemed to have other plans and came back up to kiss Bucky on the mouth again before kissing straight down Bucky’s belly and gave the tip of his cock a sweet open mouthed kiss. 

_“Steve.”_ Bucky cried out as Steve tongued at the slit, and then without warning he enveloped Bucky’s entire, painfully hard cock into the wet warmth of his mouth. Bucky, hands now fisted in Steve’s hair, struggled not to come right then and there. He gasped and thrust upward before he realized it. Steve’s large, gentle hands grabbed and pressed his hips back down. He bobbed up and down Bucky’s length, humming as he devoured him. 

“Oh god, Steve…” Bucky felt the press of Steve’s palms to the inside of his thighs and it didn’t take much more than that for him to know Steve wanted access. Bucky gave it willingly. He nearly hit the ceiling when he felt Steve’s thumb stoke just behind his balls and press into that spot that felt like lightning striking. He cried out and clenched his hands in Steve’s hair again. 

“Feel that, Buck? You like that spot?”

Bucky panted frantically. “Mmhmm.”

“If you’re ready, I’m gonna find that spot on the inside and blow your mind as well as your cock.” Bucky could feel Steve’s breath on his cock as he spoke. 

“Fuck, ‘m ready...please…”

Bucky heard Steve fumble up by his head and then the snick of a cap opening. The anticipation was ramping up and Steve’s mouth left his cock. Bucky was disappointed but then Steve was face to face with him and checking in. 

“Alright, my beautiful Buck? Feeling up to it? I’m dying to show you how good you can feel.”

Bucky nodded and Steve kissed him loose and messy like he might never get the chance again. Bucky felt like Steve passed part of his soul through that kiss before nuzzling his way back down to Bucky’s very lonely, aching cock. 

When Bucky felt something this time, it was the wet pad of Steve’s finger gently passing over Bucky’s clenching hole. 

A mortifying sound left Bucky’s throat and he instinctively grabbed at Steve’s arm. Steve stilled and looked up at Bucky through his lashes, slick lips full of Bucky’s cock, debauched look on his face. Bucky might die like this, Steve nestled between his legs, blowing him and getting ready to finger him. Yep, this was definitely going to kill him. 

Bucky liked it, liked the feeling of Steve’s touch there. He wondered why Steve had stopped and then he came back to himself just a bit and realized he had a tight grip of Steve’s forearm. Steve had stopped because he thought that’s what Bucky had wanted. 

“Oh, sorry.” Bucky released his grip, but kept his hand on Steve, hoping to encourage him to keep going.

“No need to be, just wanted to be sure you were alright.”

“I’m good, just...it’s just…” Bucky wasn’t sure how to finish his sentence. How to tell Steve how he lit up inside at the thought of Steve entering him with his finger. How could Bucky put that level of want into mere words. 

He didn’t have to...Steve understood.

“It’s a lot and never enough, huh, Buck…” 

Bucky lifted his head from the pillow in disbelief. Steve totally understood. “Exactly!”

Steve smiled, and that soft bright look he gave Bucky when they were on the same page flooded his face. Bucky lay back on the pillow and Steve came up to meet him and Bucky instinctively missed the brush of Steve’s soft beard on his inner thighs. The kiss Steve placed tenderly on his lips made up for it. It deepened with each pass and then Steve’s finger began stroking once again.

Steve slicked up the entire area, sometimes relieving the pressure with a stroke of Bucky’s cock or a gentle squeeze of his balls. He always went back to the tight furl between his cheeks and soon Bucky no longer startled when he did. He began to want him to go there. He couldn’t hold in the sounds he made when Steve’s fingers brushed there sweetly, firmly. 

*****

Steve swallowed every sound Bucky made as if they were a balm for the fire burning him from the inside out. He positioned himself to lay next to Bucky when he sensed Bucky needing movement. No longer pinned in place, Bucky’s knees would raise instinctively when Steve’s finger passed over that beautiful pink pucker between his cheeks. 

Bucky wanted more and Steve wanted him to have it. He wanted Bucky to have it all...whatever he desired. It took all of his self control to employ the restraint he also knew Bucky needed from him as well. He just began to play with Bucky as they shared languid kisses. He would start low and stroke his slick fingers in a long pass up over Bucky’s hole to give external pressure to that magic spot, then a few quick strokes to his cock. 

The whimpers from Bucky’s lips grew to moans and then when Steve’s attentions brought a few tears in the corner of his eyes and had begun to elicit half sobs from those red bitten lips, Steve knew it was time. 

He reached for the lube again, and kissed his way to those dusky nipples to keep Bucky on the edge. Bucky loved to have his nipples sucked. He just mewled and writhed as Steve lavished his attention there. 

Warming the lube on his fingers, Steve reclaimed Bucky’s mouth. When they needed to breathe, Steve took the opportunity. His fingers were dripping with lube and he swirled them around Bucky’s hole softly at first, then increasingly firmer and firmer. Bucky locked eyes with him. His sweet husband knew what was coming next brought his knees up and spread them, giving Steve complete access and more importantly, his permission. Steve nearly came untouched at the thought. 

“Touch yourself, Bucky. It’ll help you relax, ‘kay? Gonna feel good, sweetheart…” 

Steve kept pressing and circling and Bucky moaned as he began to stroke his own cock with his flesh hand. His other hand moved to Steve’s face, cradling his cheek as their slick kisses continued. When Bucky’s hand slid down to grip at his shoulder, Steve pressed his fingertip gently into the tight ring of Bucky’s body.

“ _Steve_ …” Bucky sobbed out, eyes scrunched shut, but lips still seeking Steve’s. 

Steve stilled, giving Bucky a moment, reassuring him. “Breathe Bucky, okay?”

Bucky sucked in a deep breath and let it out. He started stroking himself again and Steve could feel him clenching on the tip of his finger. Each time he felt Bucky relax a little, he moved his finger gently forward. Soon he was inside Bucky to his second knuckle. There were no words for the soft, tight warmth that was Bucky’s body as it took in his finger. 

He didn’t dare look at where they were intimately connected, the feeling was enough. Steve feared if he caught even a glimpse, he’d come on the spot. Today was about Bucky, his own pleasure would take a backseat. 

He pulled back from kissing Bucky and checked in with him. “How we doin’ sweetheart, alright so far?”

Bucky nodded and blushed furiously. Steve was pretty sure he wasn’t causing any discomfort, but he knew it probably wasn’t fun yet. Bucky was probably still acclimating at this point.

“It’ll get more fun in a bit. Nothing hurts though, right?” Steve was concerned just a little at Bucky’s lack of words. He leaned up on his elbow and stroked his fingers lightly at the hair around Bucky’s ears, tucking loose strands not tied up in the bun. 

“No, no, it’s just…”

“Go ahead, Buck, tell me.” 

“It’s more intrusive than fun is all.”

Steve chuckled. I know, right? Been there, but trust me and I’ll show you how good it gets...now where were we?” He leaned in and kissed his way down Bucky’s neck, seeking those sweet nipples, knowing it would help Bucky relax. It worked. 

Bucky’s hand began to go again and Steve pulled his finger back and then slid it back just a bit further, causing Bucky to whimper again. That’s when Steve became determined. He continued that motion of fucking his finger into Bucky until he just moaned and grabbed at Steve. 

“Oh Jesus, it’s nice...feels good.”

“You feel good, too Buck. Nice and tight, can’t wait to feel you, can’t wait to fuck you, love.”

Steve could feel Bucky relaxing more, and he started to see if he could make room for a second finger. A few sideways motions and big circles with his first finger and he slowly slipped in his middle finger alongside it. Bucky hissed at the further intrusion but just sped up his hand on his cock and with that and Steve’s quiet soothing, he was soon a writhing mess again, raising his hips and then dropping them wide open. 

Steve slipped his fingers in and out of Bucky, daring to look at where they came together now, and it was a sight to see. 

“Look at you take my fingers like a champ, Buck. Fuck! You are so beautiful. You like that , huh?”

“Fuck, yeah I do. Feels good now, full, your fingers are big…”

“Hang on Buck, got a treat for you,” and with that Steve curled his fingers upwards, pressing right into Bucky’s prostate. 

“Oh _shit_ ,” Bucky howled, tears pouring down the side of his cheeks. Steve relented and went back to fucking Bucky with his fingers. “What the fuck was that Steve?”

Bucky’s voice was wet and Steve kissed him gently. That was that spot on the outside that I told you I’d touch on the inside, your prostate, babe. Good, huh?”

“Can you do it again?”

“Yeah, gonna do it a lot until you come for me okay? Wanna come on my fingers?” Steve curled inside Bucky again and Bucky fucking wailed. Steve finger fucked him in earnest. Bucky spread his legs greedily and hung on to Steve for dear life as he honed in on what made his husband feel good. 

Nothing that left Bucky’s mouth made any sense. Gibberish...all of it. Steve delighted in bringing Bucky to that level of pleasure. 

“Please...fuck...jesus...hard...big...bigger…” High pitched and loud sounds poured from between his lips, in that pleasure/pain level of communication. Steve knew he was close when he began to cry. Steve worried briefly.

“Want me to stop, Buck, you alright, love?”

That offer seemed to bring a moment of clarity. Bucky gripped Steve’s forearm again, holding it where it was pistoning his fingers in and out of Bucky’s ass and he growled, “Don’t you fucking _dare_.”

It was all Steve needed and he doubled down relentlessly on Bucky’s sweet spot until Bucky cried out and every muscle in his body locked as he came. Thick spurts of come hit Bucky’s belly and chest, almost his chin as he sobbed through his orgasm. Steve only stopped when he was sure Bucky was becoming sensitive, wanting to give Bucky all the pleasure he could from the waves that came one after the other. 

*****

Bucky curled into Steve, mess and all, as Steve gently pulled his fingers from his body. Bucky’s chest was heaving as he attempted to gracefully recover from his mind-blowing orgasm, and he was crying. He did not care. He let himself have it. He deserved it after waiting the whole of his adult life to know pleasure at the hands of another person, at the hands of his husband. 

The best part was Steve just held him close and let him have it as well. He whispered soft things to Bucky about being good and sweet and beautiful, and how loved he was. There was a tenderness in Steve that Bucky just needed. 

Bucky decided, then and there, that it had been worth every lonely weekend, every holiday party with no date, every orgasm he experienced alone, longing for someone to share with. It was worth every second he worried he would never find anyone good enough, understanding and caring enough. 

His first experience with this level of intimacy, the way he’d been treated and loved on, let Bucky know that being married to the kind and sweet Steve Rogers was, indeed, worth it all.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, back to their day to day jobs and lives, how well will they merge together? Who knows...


	15. Back to Life, Back to Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Funny, I thought when you married someone, you pooled your money and decided together how to spend it. So I guess we both have the money now, huh?” He reached over and popped open his door.
> 
> “Steve, wait…” Bucky reached for his arm as Steve was turning to step out of the car. 
> 
> “I’m worried because I feel like I don’t bring as much to the table.”
> 
> “Bucky-” 
> 
> “No, let me finish. It’s a concern for me. I need to get it off my chest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters this close together!! No one faint! Our boys are starting to learn how to live together in the real world. I love the little things they have to work through. I love watching them no longer have to be lonely but it not being perfect just yet. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Bucky woke in Steve’s bed. No! He woke in their bed. Bucky woke in his and Steve’s bed in  _ their  _ master bedroom in  _ their  _ home. Steve was pressed close to his side but facing away, uncovered to the waist, sheets pooling just above the curve of his ass. 

He watched Steve sleep and took a personal inventory on any aches or pains. There was a tiny amount of general soreness but nothing worrisome even given the fact that after a very romantic dinner at their dining room table, which included fettuccine alfredo with asparagus and a lot of wine, Bucky had convinced Steve to go back to bed. Not the sleeping kind of bed either. 

It was the kind of evening where they were both sated and Steve showed Bucky that his own fingers, though not as fun as Steve’s, could take touching himself to a whole new level. Now Bucky lay next to Steve, grateful for the man who was as much fun in bed as he was out of it. 

Steve stirred and stretched, turning over to expose the sweetest puffy wake up face and bed head Bucky had seen yet.

“Mornin’ Buck, how you feeling?” Steve’s brow wrinkled, the epitome of the ever the concerned lover. Bucky would never tire of that level of concern. It made him feel like he was the top item of Steve's list of important stuff. It made him feel loved like a favorite soft sweatshirt.

Bucky ran his fingers through Steve’s hair trying to straighten it a bit. “I’m good, babe.”

“No pain or anything?”

Bucky chuckled. “It was two fingers, Steve. I mean I can tell we did something, but it’s not a bad feeling.”

“I hate to break it to you, love, but last night was three fingers.”

It was all coming back to Bucky, not that anything Steve did was forgettable. Bucky was only half awake and had no coffee yet. 

“I’m fine, I promise. I’m beginning to remember how much fun those fingers were.”

Steve turned all the way over and scooped Bucky into being the little spoon. “You remember anything else?”

Bucky knew exactly what Steve was asking, but he was in the mood to tease and so he feigned forgetfulness. 

His punishment for not remembering was Steve Rogers manhandling him to his back and then giving him a thorough once over, much to Bucky’s dismay. 

With his head between Bucky’s raised knees, Steve half scolded him. “Well, since you don’t remember, maybe discussing potentially having, and I quote my mischievous husband on this, ‘ _ real sex _ ’ next weekend isn’t that important to you.” 

Bucky startled Steve and flipped him backwards, almost off the bed in fact. “Alright! I do remember! I was just teasing. I swear!”

Steve laughed that warm deep belly laugh that went to Bucky’s toes. “I question people for a living, sweetheart. I know what you were doing.”

Bucky leaned in, ignoring that they both had morning breath, and kissed Steve sweetly, hands holding his husband's face. 

“I love you, Steve Rogers.”

“I love  _ you  _ Bucky Rogers...very much…”

They lay together for a few minutes, basking in the new happiness of sharing so much together. 

Finally, Steve squeezed both of Bucky’s ass cheeks playfully. “Now we haven't run for a few days and I was thinking we could do the commons today before we go to the show check in. You feel up to it?”

“Running outside in the sunshine with you sounds fabulous.” Bucky stretched like a cat as he spoke..

Steve gave Bucky a huge grin and they got up. They took turns in the bathroom, Buck relieved that everything seemed normal in that department. They threw on running gear and brushed their teeth. Bucky noticed Steve was looking uncomfortable, so Bucky broke the ice for him. 

“Spit it out, Steve. You look like you want to tell me something.”

Steve reached in a drawer and pulled out a tube of some sort of cream. He handed it to Bucky. 

“It’s A&D ointment and I know you said everything feels fine, but we did play a bit and now that we are going to go for a run, you might want to put a little on to be sure there isn’t a lot of friction.”

“This is for diaper rash… and tattoos, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I’m telling you from experience, a little after last night wouldn’t hurt. Just in case.”

Bucky was a little mortified, but honestly touched that Steve would be so concerned for his comfort. “Ooookay, so outside, inside...how much?”

“Just the outside. Like so you don’t chafe when we run. You were a little pink is all and I don’t want to worry.” 

Steve looked a little pink himself, and Bucky did not want to have a problem. This was all new to him and not so much to Steve. Bucky had to work all day tomorrow and he didn’t want to be uncomfortable. 

“You’re overthinking it, Buck. I can see it in your face. Here, let me do it. I don’t even have to look again.” Before Bucky knew it was happening, he saw Steve open the cap and then he had his hand down the back of Bucky’s pants and boxers. One quick swipe and it was over. 

“See, that’s all you need to do. Now let’s head out.”

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and buried his face in his favorite spot in Steve’s neck. 

“What?” Steve returned the embrace, one arm around Bucky’s middle, the other hand cradling his head. 

“I guess I just shouldn’t be surprised anymore about how good you are to me, I mean you look like you could be a dude bro and you are just this soft hearted teddy bear putting diaper cream on my butt because you thought it was pink.”

“Come on, like that’s a big deal?”

“Yeah, Steve...it is. It’s a big deal to me. Some guys maybe wouldn’t have been so understanding or patient. I mean let’s be real…”

“I just want to take good care of you, now let’s take your medicated butt for a run, alright?” Steve ended the conversation with a deep kiss, one that tasted very much like a thank you. 

Bucky put his hair into a messy ponytail and they both put on baseball caps and they were off. 

They showered together after a fabulous run through the Boston Commons. It was a large park Bucky had never been to not too far from the house. They jogged there and then stretched a little before continuing to run the perimeter and then a few cross paths through the park. It was green and lush: sun shining, kids playing, dogs on leashes running along with owners. 

Steve pointed out many of the historical features and Bucky was learning how much of a history buff his husband was about the area in which they lived. Bucky felt the same about Brooklyn, so he enjoyed learning a little more about Boston. Before marrying Steve, he explored a little, but he’d never even been to commons. There was so much they were going to get to do together for the first time. 

*****

They took their time getting ready even though the film crew had been waiting outside and followed them to their run. Steve grabbed a white short sleeve henley and jeans with boots and Bucky wore jeans and a short sleeve button down shirt, black with daisies all over it and dark sneakers.

Steve thought the shirt suited Bucky perfectly, and his hair was wavy and framing his face. Steve could not help but be proud to call Bucky his husband. He grabbed Bucky’s hand and took him down the back staircase and out to where his car was parked. Bucky stopped in his tracks when Steve clicked the key fob to unlock the shiny black sheek sedan. 

“An Audi, Steve?” Bucky huffed. 

“What? I don’t have a house payment and I spend a lot of time at work in my car.” Steve played off Bucky’s question, opening his door and sliding into the driver’s seat. Bucky practically stomped to the passenger side and flopped into the seat.  _ His  _ seat, now. 

“You have been tooling around in my shitty sportage and you had this parked out here?” Bucky grasped his temples with one hand, half rubbing half hiding his eyes. 

“Your sportage is very nice, practically brand new and you take excellent care of it. I noticed,” Steve corrected.

Bucky was quiet for a while as they drove towards the address they had been given for the next segment of the filming as a group. Steve finally said fuck it and reached for his hand. Bucky let him hold it, but it felt to Steve like he meant it begrudgingly. 

“I saved for years, a tiny bit every month, just for a downpayment...to say I bought it myself.”

“There is nothing wrong with your car, sweetheart.”

“It ain’t an Audi.” Bucky sighed. He stared out the window biting his bottom lip.

“Nope, and I could care less.”

“I hope…” Bucky started to speak softly but then the words just seemed to die on his tongue. He still held Steve’s hand in his grasp, so Steve let the silence sit for a few minutes before speaking.

“You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

Bucky nodded. 

“Is it about the car? ‘Cause it’s just a car to me. It serves a function, that’s all.”

Bucky sat a bit longer and then cleared his throat. “I- my grandparents- we…”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s metal hand again, tighter, trying to reassure him. He wasn’t gonna lie, when Bucky got like this and clammed up, it worried Steve. 

“I don’t make a lot of money, Steve. I don’t come from a lot of money. I don’t have…”

“Just because you  _ think  _ I have money or come from money doesn’t mean money matters to me other than to pay the bills, Bucky.” 

“Easy to say when you have money.” Bucky’s voice sounded a little wet. He cleared his throat again. 

That got Steve’s hackles up just a bit. He took a deep breath and thought before he said anything stupid. It was a quiet ten minutes other than the GPS giving directions before they pulled into what looked like an apartment building parking lot. Their regular crew was there waiting for them. 

Steve parked the car and then turned his body towards Bucky, lifted his chin and looked him in the eye as he spoke.

“Funny, I thought when you married someone, you pooled your money and decided together how to spend it. So I guess we both have the money now, huh?” He reached over and popped open his door.

“Steve, wait…” Bucky reached for his arm as Steve was turning to step out of the car. 

“I’m worried because I feel like I don’t bring as much to the table.”

“Bucky-” 

“No, let me finish. It’s a concern for me. I need to get it off my chest.”

“Sorry, I'm listening now.” Bucky began to rattle off a list in a tone that Steve could only interpret as discouraged. 

“My family grew up in the same half of a duplex in Brooklyn since my grandparents came to this country. We all lived together in the same tiny house. I shared a room with my sister until my grandparents were gone. I was eleven. It wasn’t even allowed, but we only had three bedrooms. My father still drives a bus for the city. St. Francis is a private school, but not a fancy one, just a catholic one. I make less than 40 a year, you saw my apartment, my car, what I can afford. Steve, your boots cost more than my entire outfit.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Steve wanted to tread carefully here.  _ He  _ didn’t feel like he came from money, but given Bucky’s perspective, Steve could understand his husband’s worry.

“Sure,” Bucky’s face conveyed concern about what Stev might want to know. 

“At any time, other than  _ not  _ telling you about my house and my car, have I ever given you the impression that money mattered to me. I mean like mattered in the way that I would flaunt it or be conscious of other people having it?”

Bucky’s face seemed to go through a series of thoughts, the final one being realization. “No I guess you haven’t.”

“I was a thirty-nine year old lonely man, Bucky. I applied for a tv show to get married. I think if money really mattered to me, I would have used it to find a husband or wife before now. What money I have, you have. I want to go make my bank account joint as soon as we both get out of work tomorrow. I hope you feel the same. I didn’t fall in love with you on our wedding day because you had a sign on your chest with how much money you made. I wouldn’t have seen it past your beautiful heart even if you had. Now, that’s enough talk about money for now.”

“Steve…” the apologetic tone in his voice cut right into Steve’s heart. “I love you.”

Steve leaned over and kissed Bucky on the mouth, his trembling mouth. When he spoke, Steve did not pull away. He spoke his words directly onto those beautiful sweet trembling lips. “It’s okay, Bucky. I love you very much.”

Bucky grabbed the neck of his shirt as he leaned into Steve’s mouth, stilling for a moment. Steve let him gather himself. When Bucky pulled back, Steve nodded, trying to double down on his reassurance, and they both got out of the car. 

They both wished they hadn't. 

*****

Their car ride to the show check in was quiet and the drive as they left was quiet, just for a different reason. Steve and Bucky were in shock. The producers had  _ surprised _ the couples with apartments in the same apartment building so that the couples could get to know each other on neutral ground. 

“Well, that was a complete shit show! I can’t believe those sheep are agreeing to live in that sterile place.” Bucky was right, it was sterile. 

Neutral apartments, neutral ground, no risk to anyone, had been the pitch. Steve and Bucky quickly decided that they were on the same page and that there was no way they would agree to live anywhere without their own furniture and personal touches. They were ready to get on with their lives, their real lives in their own home. They did not want to live the rest of the eight weeks and  _ then  _ transition to real life. 

Steve and Bucky had already moved on. The show was just a contract obligation to them now. 

Steve had been disgusted, but Bucky, he’d been livid. And he did not hold back. Steve just watched him take on the producers. Steve had to fight his own facial muscles to hold back a smile as he watched Bucky in complete control, argue their point...and it was  _ their  _ point. Steve also watched the three experts try to hold in their emotions as Bucky continued to argue, we this and we that. He was brilliant. 

“Jesus Buck, you teacher voiced the producers of a national television show. You were in complete authority the entire argument. I thought the one guy would shit himself when you got your phone out and said your attorney might have a different interpretation of the contract.”

“Well, I wasn't wrong.”

“Nope”

“I knew we’d win the fight to stay in our own home, but the rest of them just agreeing it was right to stay there? What are they thinking?” Bucky was clearly getting worked up again. Steve would be lying if he denied having to adjust his seat a little or at least his pants. 

“They clearly haven’t committed to each other. I mean they agreed on keeping their apartments until the eight weeks are up! What the fuck, if you have a backup plan like that how much will you put into making it work?” Steve answered equally as appalled. 

“Well, we’re going to my  _ old  _ place right now and packing up everything I need for now. I’ll go back everyday after school and get another load until I can turn over the keys. I can be out of theri for good by the end of next weekend if I push it.”

Steve whipped the car into the nearest parking lot and launched himself into Bucky’s lap, clotheslining himself the first time until he released his seatbelt. Bucky literally squealed in alarm until he realized what Steve was doing. 

Steve kissed him, quick and dirty, gripping a fistful of Bucky’s goddamn gorgeous hair. That fucking hair had bounced when Bucky was addressing the group, it had whipped back and forth when Bucky would look at Steve, his steely grey eyes, serious and wide with shock at some of the ridiculous things people had said. Steve took Bucky’s mouth over and over, those plump pink lips that had so proficiently formed Bucky’s words for them earlier. 

“What has gotten into you?” Bucky laughed when Steve stopped to let them take a breath.

“Can’t a man just find his husband hot when he defends their marriage?” 

“I defended our right to live in the home of our choice,” Bucky tried to correct.

Steve leaned back over to the passenger seat and put his seatbelt back on. “You defended our marriage by letting everyone there know that we had already decided where we were going to spend our life together and it was fucking hot, don’t take my spank bank fantasy from me, sweetheart.”

He started the car and pulled into traffic as Bucky sat frozen and probably horrified. “You have spank bank fantasies about me?”

“Jesus, you have no idea. Luckily, I have not needed them, but if I ever do...you are such good fantasy material.” 

“Steve, that's so sweet. Probably the sweetest thing-”   


“Bucky, please tell me I have said sweeter things to you besides admitting that I’d think about you when I jerk off if I needed to!” Steve suddenly felt a rush of shame

“Oh, no...you have. You’re very sweet to me, babe. I just...I’m just so thrilled that you like me enough for that. Like you could think about anyone you wanted, you know what I mean?”

“ Yes, I totally know I could think about anyone I wanted. I just happen to want to think about my husband.”

“And your husband is very flattered and feels exactly the same way.” Bucky’s face was plastered with a grin Steve could handle seeing every day for the rest of his life 

“Good to know. Now let’s head to your house and get started.”

“Wait! Let’s get my car, too. We can fit more. I really have to get all of my school stuff. I have to check my email and see where Sister Frances left off so I can plan for tomorrow at least.” 

“Slow down there, Mr. Rogers. Let’s start with lunch, We didn’t stay for the lunch that was provided because someone got a little hot around the collar and I’m hungry.”

“There’s a sandwich shop by my apartment. I’ll call in an order while you drive me to pick up my car. There’s a UHaul on the way and we can buy some boxes and tape, too.”

“Alrighty, sounds like you’ve got a plan.” Steve kind of loved when Bucky took control and handled things that needed to get done. Steve was always the detail guy at work. Detectives had to be. They ran the scene. Being the only one at home, he had to handle everything there as well. It was nice to think about sharing the responsibilities of home life. 

*****

They ate a quick lunch and then Steve taped together boxes for Bucky while he began to pack. He was on his second box of teacher stuff when Steve made a suggestion. 

“Why don’t you tell me what else you want to bring and I can pack some stuff for you.”

“Oh, yeah, That’s great. I think clothes would be easy.”

Bucky got him set up in the bedroom. It felt kind of intimate to be touching Bucky’s stuff, but he wanted him to be living in the brownstone and out of this neighborhood. Just the thought of having Bucky in his bed every night was motivation to pack the entire apartment himself if necessary. 

“Start with the dresser and then the closet. I’m bringing it all. Pack away!” Bucky sounded so excited that Steve chased him back to the living room for a quick kiss. 

“We’re gonna live together forever, Buck. I can’t wait.”

“Well,” Bucky smiled against Steve’s lips, with another kiss. “It’s a good thing you don’t have to, then.” 

In less than two hours they had both cars packed. Steve’s car was full of Bucky’s clothes and bathroom stuff, and Bucky’s had all of his teaching corner and anything else he needed to have for work. 

Steve thought the place was starting to look empty already. “You know, we can have this place empty if we get our friends and a Uhaul next weekend, sweetheart.” 

“I’d love that, babe. The sooner, the better,” Bucky said as they walked out and he twisted his key in the deadbolt. They trotted down the stairs to the cars. 

“See you at home, drive safely.” Steve shut Bucky’s door for him, before climbing in his own car and started back to the brownstone. 

They worked their asses off getting Bucky’s lesson planning area set up and all of his clothes put away in his walk in closet, even the ones he had put in the dresser earlier. They had moved those dressers upstairs for temporary storage for school stuff until they could design a real office space for the two of them. 

Dinner was a team effort, chicken and a big salad. They ate at the kitchen counter and then took a bath before Bucky had to spend some time checking his email and getting at least tomorrow planned for his classroom. It was domestic and charming and everything Steve could have ever imagined or hoped for. 

The last thing they did was get their clothes ready for work in the morning. Steve sent most of his clothes out to the dry cleaner, so Bucky swore to go get his ironing board after school. He made due with a towel and the kitchen counter, pressing his shirt for the morning. Steve could see that even though he was exhausted, Bucky was vibrating with excitement at the thought of seeing his kids tomorrow. 

They crawled into bed together, phones plugged in to charge and alarms set. Steve spooned behind Bucky, squeezing him tight to his chest. 

“Night, Buck. Love you so much.”

“Night, hon...love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep those comments coming, fuel to my writing fire. I really love to hear what you think!


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